I'll date you, Shorty.

Every so often, while checking my Hotmail account, I see an interesting tidbit from MSN. Usually it's some generic topic that women read in Cosmo to assure themselves that they are on the right track, although they could have figured it out on their own: "10 Reasons He's Not The One" or "10 Best Shoes of Summer." (Yes, sweetie, he's been dating you for 2 years and you've never met his family... time to get a clue.)

Recently I've realized that MSN is focusing more of these articles towards the men-folk. Today's articles include:

Men: Control your rage before it kills you
NFL to add 17th game?
Lohan to Play Stripper in Next Film

Honestly, I'd rather read a men's article and have something to think about instead of reading another edition of, "How to Please Your Man." Lame. Lame. Lame.

Anyhoo, while sending an email today, my eye caught this little tidbit courtesy MSN:

Dating when you're a short guy

If I were a shorter guy, I would be seriously offended. The article implies that there is nothing wrong with shorter guys... only that women aren't as attracted to them. That's horrible. I mean, don't different people just have different preferences? Shouldn't we believe simply that there is someone out there for everyone? Short, tall, fat, skinny. Fine, shorter guys have a harder time getting a date. But, so do anti-social guys, or guys with a twitch, or guys who live at home... There are plenty of other reasons why people can't get a date. The reason someone can't get a date can not be based on height alone.

I am also a little offended because I've dated some shorter guys. I like them. Why not? Most of them are taller than me. :) I prefer some broad shoulders and an athletic build, but it's only because I'm pretty athletic myself and I wouldn't want to cause a guy physical harm. *ha* Anyhoo, I'd pick a shorter guy with a big personality over one of those tall, boring lanky dudes (Cornflakes) anyday.

Who is this Jason Kersten who writes for Maxim and Rolling Stone? Is he short? I actually looked up his image on Google and he's not bad ;)... I think he needs a female writing partner to tie up any loose ends and to make guys realize that different women want different things.

Dating when you’re a short guy
By Jason Kersten (and Suziemusi)

It’s hard out there for a shrimp (Because most women can't look past the trivial stuff..that's not your fault, shorty. I enjoy Jason's reference to "Hustle and Flow" however.) Chalk it up to cold Darwinism, cultural standards, or the simple feminine desire to have a man around who can reach the top shelf (Because she is somehow not capable of getting out a step stool herself, even in 2007) but just about every stature study in the last twenty years confirms what short guys already know: Women prefer taller men (Because taller men tend to have more self-confidence ans women are ridiculous!). But that doesn’t mean shorter men are doomed in the dating department (if they have a personality). In fact, lots of men who fall under America’s 5’9” male average date with great success—often with taller women. Their playbook (It's all a game, right?), honed by necessity, is all about evening the odds and picking up subtle signs of interest that their loftier brothers might ignore. Not convinced? Let these men’s struggles and solutions prove otherwise.

Challenge #1: Being short can wreak havoc with your confidence (which is a MAJOR turn-off to women)
While many women are happy to date a great guy regardless of his height, for some girls (especially the tall ones) it’s an instant deal breaker—and, given men are often responsible for making the first move (which is a bunch of crap) it can be tricky to know how to proceed. (You might want to think about dating a woman who ISN'T 5'9'' and seen in Playboy. That will greatly increase your odds of getting a date. Don't expect women to "lower" their standards if you can't "lower" yours.) There was a woman I was absolutely smitten with,” recalls Charles, 40, who’s a 5’7” surgeon living in New York City. “She was only a couple inches taller than me and friendly to me in group settings, so I figured I’d give it a shot. But after trying unsuccessfully to get a date with her, one of her friends finally told me the deal: I was too short for her.” (This could have been a nicer way of her telling you that she thinks your unattractive for other reasons.) Another experience many shorter guys suffer is when women do warm up to them... as a friend but this could be for another reason besides being short. “One time I was out with a short buddy of mine and a tall girl he was hitting on did the one thing that all short guys hate: She put his arm around him kind of like one would do with a little brother,” shudders Eric, a 40-year-old paramedic from Louisville, KY who’s 5’7”. Understandably, such experiences can leave many short guys feeling gun-shy. (Nice phallic reference, Jason.) “If I’m approaching a woman who’s taller than me, I’d probably be dissuaded much more easily,” continues Eric. “I’ll probably interpret any bit of coyness or lack of enthusiasm as ‘Well, she just doesn’t go for shorter guys’ and steer clear.” (So, you're a quitter. Nice.)

(Realization): Know that plenty of women don’t mind half as much as you think
While sussing out who’s open to dating in the lower height ranges isn’t easy, there are ways to get a handle on who’s game. Case in point: Most men don’t pay that much attention to a woman’s shoes, but shorter guys hone in on them, and for good reason. “If I see a tall woman who’s got on four-inch heels, that’s a subtle message that she’s into being tall and it’s part of her personality. I’ll generally avoid these types as a rule,” says Eric (Obviously he believes in first impressions, although they may not be correct. Heels make legs look long and lean - it's fashion more than anything. We dress mostly to impress other women, not to impress men.) “But when I see a tall woman who wears flats, it’s a clear sign she’s not caught up in being tall. (Perhaps she has a tall complex.) As a matter of fact, she’s trying to bring herself down a little bit (So she doesn't hurt YOUR ego?) So I approach.” And for women, the word is that you need to be more explicit and encouraging if you’re interested in a shorter guy. “The taller women that I’ve dated actually came more to me than I pursued them,” says Eric, who is currently dating a woman a couple inches taller than him. “The woman I’m dating right now came and gave me a kiss at a party. It was that easy.” (Well, she thinks your cute as a button.)

Challenge #2: In the online dating world, height can be listed as a mate must-have
On many online dating sites, members are asked to list their own height as well as the desired stature of the people they’d like to date. (Just lie about your stats a little - everyone else is doing it.) For shorter guys, this can present obvious problems—and while it’s tempting to fudge the facts a few inches in your profile, the game will be over once you meet face to face. (Chances are your impression of them will be diminished too, so no need to worry.) “If you walk into a date and you’ve said you’re two inches taller than you are, then you might as well be wearing a big sign that says ‘liar,’” points out Eric. So be honest, but also be willing to take a proactive role in scanning for and emailing women online since you may not make their minimum height requirement when they do the searching.

(Realization): Realize that most women will bend their rules for the right guy
While the situation may look bleak, shorter online daters shouldn’t despair and here’s why: What women list they want in a mate ideally can be light years from what they’re perfectly happy to accept in the right guy. (Likely, they'll find out that your not the right guy for them anyway.) Eric, for one, was at first surprised when his online profile got interest from taller women who were breaking the very height requirements they listed in their own online profile. (Obviously, Eric has a personality.) “They write that they’re looking for a taller guy, but then again, they’re contacting me,” he says, adding that at first he felt the need to explain to them that he might not live up to their lofty standards. “I used to tell them I’m a lot shorter than you’re looking for, but I don’t do it anymore because it’s pointless. They see it in your profile anyway.” Bill, a 35-year-old publishing executive from Rochester, NY, who’s 5’6”, says he’s had a good response online from women of all heights. (Then again, if asked, would he tell them he DIDN'T have a good response -- come on.)“I have taller girls emailing me a lot, even though I don’t meet the height they say they’re looking for,” he says, “They all tell me my profile made them laugh. I think the key is having something to capture their attention other than height. Humor’s the best.”

Challenge #3: Short guys aren’t always taken seriously
Even guys who do find a gal who’s fine and dandy with a height differential ("Even if" like it doesn't happen... come on, Jason!) know that being an odd couple can be hard—for instance, strangers may do double-takes and friends and family may make snide, behind-the-back comments from friends and family. (So, you will be forever odd and laughed at by your friends and family? That's not very nice.) “Generally speaking, if you’re a short guy and you’re dating a tall woman and you walk into a bar, people tend to laugh or whisper about you,” says Eric. “Or have you ever noticed how men think it’s OK to hit on a tall girl even if it’s obvious she’s dating the short dude standing right next to her?” (Tall dudes have their own set of issues to deal with.)

(Realization): Confidence can make any guy seem ten feet tall
One lesson short guys learn early on is that confidence, not height, is the ultimate aphrodisiac. “If you’re hitting on a taller woman, don’t even blink,” recommends Bill. “Just interact totally straight on, like there’s nothing weird. (Implying that there is something weird)Never let your actual stature affect your sense of metaphorical stature.” In fact, showing a taller girl your chutzpah works especially well when you’re short. “If a woman is taller than you, she knows that she’s taller than you, then she’ll see your approaching her as a sign that you’re very confident with who you are.’ That puts you in a very good light, in front of her and in front of others,” says Eric. So when you’re taking a woman out and get a double-take or see someone giggling in your direction, remember: Your date chose to go out with you because you have all kinds of great things going for you. So don’t let another person’s height hang-up put a dent in your confidence. And that brings up a valuable big-picture perspective: Height hang-ups are just that—another person’s issue, not yours. (So, why did you call them "coping strategies," Jason, and refer to them "odd" and "weird" and "shrimp".) So if you do get rebuffed because of your stature, consider how Charles looks at the situation: “If a girl doesn’t want to date me because I’m shorter, I just think ‘Too bad for her. She’s missing out on me.’” (I tell myself this ALL the time, too!)

Jason Kersten is a regular contributor to Maxim, Rolling Stone, and other magazines. To read the other side of the story, click here. (Suziemusi is a regular blogger who likes to comment on articles she reads and is not published or famous.)