A Valentine's Day Tribute

As a 14-year-old high school student in Mrs. Ohm's English class, I wrote the following poem in my journal:

I've never had a Valentine,

Or a box of chocolate hearts.

I've only had a photograph

At which to throw darts.

Charming, isn't it? I was quite the young poet - so many pent up artistic emotions...

Anyhoo. I've always despised Valentine's Day. As a kid, it was probably because I was odd and none of the boys liked me. As an adult, it is the same. Just kidding. Seriously, though, I just don't think that love is something to be celebrated on just one day. Furthermore, I don't like buying meaningless gifts, or receiving balloons. (Balloons are bad for the environment, don't you know?)
Last year was a bittersweet Valentine's Day for me. My cousin, Mike, who'd spent his life with cystic fibrosis, had been in the hospital for two weeks and was not doing well. He'd had a lung transplant in 2004, going from 14% lung capacity before the operation, to almost full capacity. Unfortunately, cystic fibrosis would inevitably take over the new lungs. We didn't know it would be this quickly. I talked to my mom every day -- one day Mike's lungs were failing, the next day they were filling with fluid, then his heart started to fail, his liver, his kidneys...



Waiting to fly to Tulsa for a funeral was unexpected, especially since I'd seen Mike in good health just a few months before. He came to visit me in California around my birthday, and I tried to show him the sights - we went to an Oakland A's Game, he came to my 26th birthday BBQ, and we went to San Francisco to take in the sites. Our walk up to Coit Tower from North Beach was memorable. Even though he was out of breath and had to stop a number of times on the way, he made it all the way up. Triumphant, he took a picture of the view from Coit with his camera phone and sent it to his then-girlfriend.

At the end of the day, I'd realized that Valentine's Day had almost completely passed me by and I hadn't thought about myself or my personal love misfortunes much at all. As I drove, I saw the parking lot packed at a local jewelry store, and saw a guy with a back seat FULL of Mylar balloons declaring, "I Love You" or "Bee My Valentine." I thought about the time I got to spend with Mike, and how no balloons, chocolates or diamonds could compare to spending time with someone truly special.

Mike passed away on February 16. I flew to Tulsa to say goodbye and spend time with family. After his funeral, his friends hosted a house party in honor of him. I met his summer-then-girlfriend who showed me the picture he'd sent her from Coit Tower, and I realized how lucky I was to have spent that time with him before we all lost him.

I wish I had more pictures from the time we spent that summer, but I didn't have a camera. The pictures below are courtesy of my cousin, Mike's sister, Jolene.

Mike and Jolene.

Cousin Chris (who also has CF), Jolene and cousin-in-law Trevor at a local Run for CF event. (Wearing pins with Mike's picture.)