My Dating Culture

Everyone has standards and those standards are often defined by culture. We multi-cultural Californians are exposed to different cultures all the time, and we take pride in knowing the difference between Vietnamese and Chinese last names, hearing the difference between the Spanish of Spain and Mexican Spanish and having a broad range of multi-cultural friends. People forget that we Caucasians also have a culture. Furthermore, being from the Midwest, I have a Midwestern culture that even many Caucasian Californians forget about.

It seems when I set dating standards, that I find to be a reflection of my culture, people say, "Oh well, you might be missing out on a great guy!" But, don't you see? It's probably not a great guy for ME.

EXHIBIT A: The guy who lives with his parents.

I'm from the Midwest. When you're from the Midwest, you move out of the house when you are 18 - no matter what - you either go to college, get married, or get a full-time job in which you can afford to live at least a couple of blocks from your parents. I don't want my kids living in my house for more than 18 years under normal circumstances. I realize there may be a summer or a year here or there when every young person needs a break. But, in general they need to pack up, move out, go away -- I'll even help to pay for it, or assist in finding a nice student loan.

This is my culture. In other cultures it is perfectly acceptable to live at home until you are 35, and I understand that. I won't pick on your culture, if you don't pick on mine.

EXHIBIT B: The guy with a Ferrari/Porsche.

Cars don't impress me to begin with. But, if you are going to have a sports car, then I need a muscle car - that's right, something with a loud muffler or at least something built before 1970. What's even better is when you get a little grease under your fingernails, put a little work into it. Sure, anyone can drive fast -- BIG DEAL.

My high school boyfriends drove Mustangs and Cameros and could change their own oil. It's just what I'm used to.

EXHIBIT C: The guy who almost made it through college.

This one makes me feel insensitive, but I'm putting it out there anyway. I realize that not everyone has the tools to go to college, not everyone wants to go to college and I also don't think that college is for everyone. But, I expect that most of my life will be spent at a college or university - it's my career - I will spend 40+ hours a week there everyday for the rest of my life. I feel the same about college as most people do about their high school experiences.

My father had a PhD in Education, I'm working on an M.A. in Education. It's a big part of my life.

EXHIBIT D: The guy with no music.

Believe it or not. These people exist. They only have CDs that people have bought for them, they don't own an I Pod, and they refer to the radio as "background music." To have no music in your life is to have no soul. I met one of these people in Community College. He was a baseball player - go figure.

I grew up dancing to Olivia Newton-John and Barry Manilow in my basement, and on roller skates. I grew up singing in choirs, and singing hymns at church. At LEAST like Kelly Clarkson, or something.

EXHIBIT E: The late guy.

I've always been intrigued by the guy who is perpetually late, but it just never seems to work out. A college boyfriend could never be on time. There I was - ready to go, possibly nervous, wanting to get out the door. He didn't even call to say that he would be late.

I can't be late, even if I try. It's inherent in my nature. If you are late, it automatically tells me that you don't care.

EXHIBIT F: The vegetarian guy.

I agree with vegetarians. Animals are good. It may even be healthier NOT to eat animals, but as long as BBQ and cold cuts exist, I'll keep eating them. I'm sorry. In Iowa there is a T-shirt that reads: P.E.T.A. - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.

I don't know how to eat, if I don't eat meat. You don't want me to starve, do you?