Fall Flip-Out

Every summer I sit around, thinking a lot, wanting to do something more, but alas, no one else seems to want to do anything extraordinary. So, I sit, without complaint, driving myself insane and taking long lunch breaks. Strangely enough, it seems other in a similar job position to mine enjoy the summer - probably because they are happy doing nothing. That's just not the way I roll.

I believe in signs - whether they be from God or some other higher power. I think human beings have an awareness of when things aren't right, then follow signs to another path, thus leading them in another direction. Every summer I try to update my resume and do job searches because I find summer to be completely underwhelming.

Today I thought I saw a glimmer of light.

I think I have a great idea for my thesis, so I emailed my non-communicative advisor, and another professor for whom I have great respect (just in case my advisor doesn't respond). My thesis idea is pretty bomb-ass. My idea rolls into my career aspirations, and expands the role that I play at my job, and has future implications. My thesis will ensure that I don't have a boring summer next year.

Right after emailing my bomb-ass thesis idea, I receive and email that one of my classes has been canceled. My intention, of course, is to finish my MA this year, do or die! I won't survive another Summer of Mundane. I'm desperate! So, I started researching other programs online - even in Chicago, then in Washington D.C. "Damnit! I will finish! If they won't let me move on, I'll just move somewhere else and finish! No one will stop me!" I thought.

Yeah, I flipped out a little. It happens.

An hour later I receive a phone call from my advisor, who, for some reason has heard the situation and has read my emails to him and the department asking what I should do. Amazing.

The only option I have to satisfy the requirement for the canceled class and still finish at the end of 2008, is to take another class with "the teachers." I'll do anything - even take another class with people who need a step-by-step rubric.

So, the glimmer of light is to hold tight for another year before packing up and leaving for Chicago or Washington D.C. Perhaps the Bay Area will be able to keep me - it honestly won't be hard because I love it here.

But, I AM gearing up for a new adventure of some kind. I can feel it.

Back in the Day

What is this expression, "Back in the Day?" I'm 28, so back in the day would refer to what? The 80's? I don't know if that was really "the day." It seems this expression is being used to often by people my age or younger to explain, perhaps, a simpler time. I think, however, we should wait until at least middle age, when we have children our age, until we have licence to use the term freely. Those younger than us don't understand, and those older than us, well, the expression is just ridiculous since they remember more than just the 80's.

I will retire use of this expression, but post a picture from a simpler time. Remember perms? Remember Pound Puppies? Oh yeah!



Thanks to my cousin for this fabu picture!

Don't forget the lyrics!

Even sexy Wayne Brady couldn't keep my attention to watch this horrible TV game show, in which players must complete the lyrics to win. The player can choose from a number of categories including: Pop, American Favorites, The 60's, KC and the Sunshine Band, and their winnings duplicate as they sing lyrics correctly.

I will admit that I didn't know any of the lyrics to songs selected. I don't think people understand that while I was learning about modes, scales, augmented 6 chords, vocal phonation, and diction (p.s. these are musical terms), I wasn't sitting around memorizing popular song lyrics or names of popular bands.

"Oh well it's lady's night, and the feelin's right, oh well it's lady's night, oh what a night!" There are actually verses to that song! *shocked and amazed* Who knew? Apparently, a lot of people know... and they have the lyrics memorized too.

I hate the American Idol phenomenon. Anyone can sound good in a recording studio -- anyone. Technology is amazing. I don't think people know just how amazing it is. Also, why should we idolize singers only?

As a musician, I think I disappoint people with musical conversation. People are unhappy that I don't think The Dave Matthews Band is the greatest band of all time, or when I can't tell the difference between Hall & Oats and The Grateful Dead. We didn't learn these things in school. Sorry. I'm thinking more about band names when I listen to a song. People are even more thoroughly disappointed when name-drop the classical musician names that everyone knows (Mozart, Bach, Beethoven) and expect me to say they are great, but instead I pull out names like Wolf, Mendelssohn, and Crumb.

When I meet new people and I tell them I'm a musician, these are the items that most disappoint them:

1.) The Dave Matthew's Band (or Insert Band Name Here)is good, but I refuse to say they are the best band ever.

2.) Pavarotti was not a good singer during most of my lifetime. Classical singers lose their voices and technique around their 50s. It's sadly the process of aging. Pavarotti was 71. (God rest his soul.)

3.) I think Mozart is boring. Yes, he was amazing for producing thousands of pieces by the time of his 30-something death, but they all pretty much sound the same.

4.) Chant, much Choral repertoire, and anything by Barber (who wrote "Adagio for Strings" made popular by the movie Platoon) are actually not "classical" music. The classical era was approx. 1750-1810. Chant was part of the Medieval period, Bach (choral composer)was part of the Baroque period, and Barber died in the 90's.

5.) By the way, "Adagio for Strings" is not a "song" - songs have words. Orchestral "songs" are referred to as a "work" or a "piece."

6.) I don't memorize popular song lyrics or band names. Not that I don't like some popular music, just that I'm thinking more about chords than words.

7.) Josh Groban is NOT an opera singer. He is "popera" at best. His Italian is atrocious and his voice has not fully developed for the style. He would never be hired by the MET unless they decided to be sellouts (not likely).

8.) Phantom of the Opera is NOT an opera. It is musical theatre. There is a difference.

9.) Yes, I play some piano, but just enough to get by. I'm very intermediate. I can't sing and play like Norah Jones. Sorry.

10.) People who practice to sing karaoke have too much time on their hands. Go listen to something new!

I need a new hobby

I think my need for a new hobby arises from the unproductive summer months. Because I work in academia, there isn't a lot going on in the summer. Once my class ended in July, I haven't had much going on. Now August is almost over, and I've realized that not many exciting summer stuff happened in the last 30 days. Now is the 2 weeks before the beginning of the academic year where the public schools are already in session, my choir has started rehearsing without me (I'm taking a break to focus solely on my MA), and I feel the need to take on a new hobby that fits into my busy schedule.

Such a hobby can have no financial bearing, as, let's face it, I'm working a low paying job and just took out another student loan. My new hobby can also have no time bearing because, let's face it, by expediting my MA, I have less of it. But, I always feel the need to grow in some new way. Someone asked me lately to bartend for a wedding, because they know I am open to new experiences. I don't really want to be a bartender, even for a night, but it might be fun and I might meet new people, and let's face it, I'm not going to take it on professionally.

I should base a new hobby on things I'm already doing. I've been thinking recently about training for a triathlon. Unfortunatley, yours truly doesn't really know swimming strokes and doesn't own a bike. So, I've contacted the Aquatics Director at work about swim lessons, and bf's parents have offered me access to a bike any time I need one. I should take up both offers.

Maybe I'll go out over Labor Day weekend and buy myself a new pair of running shoes, a one-piece suit, and some padded shorts.

Maybe I'm insane, and this new hobby will never take off with the amount of things that are already on my plate this fall. But, damn, I still have 3 weeks of summer left!

Today's Obsession - Demotivators

These gems made possible by the people of Despair.com

Goals for my 29th year

1.) Finish Grad School!
2.) Maintain 127 pounds and learn to swim.
3.) See Ravi Shankar in concert.
4.) Join the 21st century by purchasing a digital camera and an iPod.

Vacation for One

I woke up early on my birthday to check out of my canvas cabin in Pescadero and partake of a lovely breakfast. I'd spent the last two days reading, enjoying nature, going on hikes and being massaged, so I thought eating large amounts of eggs with cheese and starchy potatoes was in order. Besides -- it's my birthday, so I can do whatever the hell I want. I was completely on my own schedule, and it was fantastic. Two days was plenty to be alone in the wilderness, and I was ready to leave, but it was very relaxing and pleasant.

I understand that the Cascade Restaurant was greatly understaffed, but I was frustrated by the slow service. I blame this on being there alone. A single person in a restaurant is almost invisible: it's kind of socially unacceptable to eat alone in public, and one person isn't going to leave a large tip. Servers generally want to feed the family of four. It's not too few, it's not too many, they appreciate your help, their bill is significant, etc.

I stood at the front of the restaurant, and observed two female servers buzzing about tables in no particular order. After a few minutes of being patient, I used my womanly figure to get the attention of a "new" (arent' they ALWAYS new!) early-20-something male drink server, who told me I could sit wherever I wanted. He promptly served me coffee and OJ, but told me he didn't know how to take orders yet. (Oh, the double-entendre!)

While reading at my table to pass the time, I realized that I was sitting next to two Italians, so I started listening to their conversation. (It was in ITALIAN! I wasn't spying -- I didn't even understand it.) They were in a hurry to leave, and were having some trouble getting a server's attention, so I used my single-status to strike up a conversation with them. 2 busy Italians + 1 single person = restaurant service. By joining my forces with the Italians, they got to pay and I got to order.

I was proud of myself for going on vacation alone, but there is also power in numbers.

Accomplished :)

I've been off work since last Wednesday, and it feels so good.

I've cleaned my entire apartment in preparation for the new roommate. Mr. Clean is the greatest cleaning agent I have ever found! AND it has a fresh orangy scent! LOVE it. Mr. Clean has been winking at me and giving me his head-bow and it excites me greatly.

The new roommate is mostly moved in now, and we've made some apartment improvements. New Roomie has installed cable. It's the first time in 4 years that I've had cable at my place of residence. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. We have all of the premium channels, and apparently DVR, although I don't know how to access or use it. What does one watch when they have access to 500 channels? They watch "Back to the Future" of course! Right now I'm wondering if we will really have flying cars by 2015. My guess is NO. Also, the references to Texaco and Michael Jackson. Yeah, um...

I've also been filing all of that important stuff that's important, but it piles on a desk. Yes, I have a home filing system now and it's all up to date. Get it!

I drove 4 hours to Santa Rosa yesterday to see an old friend who I studied music with back in Iowa. She's back at our old school, teaching and singing in a group called First Take that does workshops in the summer. The drive was extremely irritating, but it was good to see Kim after 8 years. She's exactly the same, perhaps we are both heavier and more embittered. I also saw a former teacher, who is probably the person most responsible for my moving to the Bay Area. It was funny to see everyone, and a blast from the past, but also kind of sad to know that I don't really "belong" to that scene anymore. It's evolved beyond what it was when I went to school there. Strange feeling.

Exercise has been regular this week. Hiking, running...and there is more to come when I leave tomorrow for the beach! Woo hoo! Hiking and being massaged. Very excited.

Now, I leave you. Hopefully I'll have some reports when I get back. :)

Have a lovely week!

Wedding Dilemma

I've been invited to a wedding of someone I knew in college. She doesn't call. She doesn't write. She emails me saying she's in town. I suggest lunch. I don't hear from her again. Ahem.

I am quite astonished 4 years later to receive an email "Save the Date" for her wedding in August. It is good to hear from her, so I give her my address at her request and receive the invitation in the mail a couple of weeks later. I feel uneasy about the invitation. Others who have been in touch with her received their invitation months before I received mine. Also, I don't know the groom and the wedding is 2 hours away.

Question: Do I go to the wedding, spend the money for the gift and the hotel when I was invited last minute, furthermore am not sure whether or not I will ever see this person again?

Answer: No. I send the RSVP with the (X) next to "Be there in spirit. I also send her an email apologizing that I am unable to attend, and suggest a get-together when she moves back to the area.

Question: Will she ever contact me again?

My guess: No. I was invited because there was "extra room" or she thought I'd be good for a gift. Anyone want to place bets on this one?

When you date, and don't know it.

I'm young, single and I work on a college campus where most people are not very young and not very single, except of course for the students. So, when a nice colleague from another department asks me out to lunch I say, "Of course!" This would be the same for male or female co-workers alike. In this case, it was a male.

He did not invite me off campus for this lunch; it was at a campus venue, with plenty of other faculty and staff eating, reading, having lunch meetings, etc. It was a very UN-date like environment. He did not pay for my lunch. So, we start off with the typical work-banter: office happenings, people we both know on campus, "How about them Broncos?" You know, stuff like that....

Suddenly I get the overwhelming feeling that this guy is interested more than my department job, and we are suddenly we talking about non-work things like political views. Politics shouldn't be discussed at work, they should be discussed over a beer...between friends OR MORE...but...I don't WANT to have a beer with this guy, because that makes it a date, and I don't want to date him. DAMN. I'm in a bind.

We both only have an hour for lunch (Thank God), so luckily it doesn't stay weird for long. But, then what if he asks me to go for a beer? Yikes! He doesn't ask me to go for a beer. So, now I feel bad for assuming this guy wants to date me. Do people on campus think we are dating? Uh. Oh.

This reminds me of a story my brother told me about dating without knowing it. He was new at his job and a guy in a nearby cubicle asked him if he wanted to go to a movie. My brother, thinking this guy was his pretty cool, went to a movie with him. It wasn't a romantic movie, it was a guy movie.. so, what's the problem?

He didn't think anything was weird. He'd gone out with his buddy from work... so?

The problem is my brother goes back to the office on Monday morning to find out that his other co-workers think the two guys are a couple. Turns out my brother's "work buddy" was gay. Well, how was he to know? Also, who's to say this guy was interested in my brother. Perhaps he just wanted to be nice to the new guy.

Are there always ulterior motives when a guy asks you out to a seemingly friendly lunch or movie? If so, I consider this to be a date. Furthermore, if this is the case, I've been dating 3 or 4 guy friends unknowingly for the past 5 years.

Oops.

What's happenin?

Just catching everyone up since my blogging has been pretty pathetic in the last few weeks.

Class: I still don't like "The Teachers" and am glad to be in Higher Education. I've read 3 articles of the 10-12 that I need to read (also find) for a Literature Review due next Thursday.

Work: Summer is a little slow around here, but I feel there are some projects being accomplished that could not be finished during the academic year.

Home: Yesterday, the monstrosity of a 52'' Mitsubishi TV that we never watched was sold and removed from the premises by a nice couple with kids. Craigslist - well done.

















After the class is over I will get the household in order. Carpets need to be cleaned, household items need to be purchased, etc. BECAUSE...

Personal: My husband is moving out... don't worry... we are on good terms. We've both found other people. We are going to remain good friends and neighbors as he is literally moving 5 blocks away. New roommate is Kristina. She is currently in a love triangle and will perhaps let me blog about her. :) Excellent!

Extra-Curricular: I've booked a mini vacation for one to Costanoa in Pescadero to sit, read, hike, run, and most importantly.. be massaged for two days. Yes, I'm going by myself. Don't even think about booking one of their lovely canvas cabins while I'm there. I only want to see nature and possibly some old, quiet people.

I have a new sister

Her name is Sky. Her previous owner died, and my real sister talked my parents into saving her from certain death. SUCKERS!

The Mysteries of Life Cereal

I've been asked to elaborate a bit on Life Cereal, namely what I'm looking for in a Life Cereal. Since I don't really have a good answer to this question, I will just bitch and moan for a few paragraphs. Excuse me...

During my series on Cereal Dating, I went out and bought a box of Life Cereal, just to check it out. I think there were a few different kinds, but I went with Original flavor. Honestly, it wasn't anything special. It was kind of like Wheat Chex, a little sweeter, but the cereal squares were more flat and had a smaller weave. Therefore, the cereal squares were not as well able to absorb milk like Wheat Chex, so you don't get that rush of cold milk when biting into the pieces.

I also found this fun little tidbit on the web:

Life is known as a wholesome cereal with a delicious taste that millions of adults and children love. Last year, 39 million boxes of Life and Cinnamon Life were sold. If placed end to end, the boxes sold in one year would stretch all the way from New York to Tokyo! Life Cereal - Historical Packaging Life Cereal was introduced in 1961 by the Quaker Oats Company as a cereal which "would help kids grow strong". In the early 70's, Life Cereal became famous for being the cereal that even Mikey, a finicky little 4 year old who "hates everything", loved to eat. Life stayed with the Mikey campaign for years and even today people everywhere remember Mikey. In 1978, we thought it was time to add a little spice to our Life. So we introduced Cinnamon Life and Cinnamon lovers everywhere were thrilled. Today, about one-third of all Life Cereal sold is Cinnamon flavor.

Life Cereal started out as a pretty damned good idea "helping kids grow strong." When kids are involved, I agree, there definitely needs to be some Life Cereal. I'm not exactly sure that I want to have kids. When people ask me, "Do you want kids?" it's like asking me if I'd like to have dinner on August 24, 2010. Um, I don't know. It sounds nice, but I honestly need to know what's going to lead up to that before I can give you a definite answer. Do I want Life Cereal so that I can one day have kids? No. I don't. That's not the reason for Life Cereal.

So, what is the reason? The cereal became very commercial with the slogan, "Even Mikey likes it!" It says, even this silly 4-year old with no taste likes it, so it must be good. Everyone is out to prove that they are committed to Life Cereal, so they get married. Today half of all marriages end in divorce. Nice. Doesn't sound too wholesome to me.

So, what does one do in order not to have a skewed and awful view of Life Cereal? I've watched my friends get married. Conversely, I've also watched my sister's friends (7 years older than me) get divorced. I've been told NUMEROUS times by seasoned individuals not to get married and just enjoy my life. I enjoy my life... but wouldn't it be more exciting to have someone to enjoy it with?

I had dinner with a happily married friend recently who told me about John, a bachelor, who was upset by married couples always telling him how hard marriage is. His question was, "If it's complicated and makes your life difficult... why do it?" My friend agreed that the selfish couples make you think twice, but wanted to convince John also that marriage was a good thing. She reported that, upon becoming engaged, married people would suddenly divulge their marital unbliss on her. Now married, she feels that she is lucky to be in a non-selfish, loving relationship in which all of the hardships of being a couple are GREATLY outweighed by all of the great things.

Those who are unhappy need to stop freaking us single people out! Don't tell me, "Oh, let me tell you, marriage is hard." Perhaps you have it mixed up with the general fact that LIFE is hard. At least when you're married, you have someone to share the hard times with, right? In our imagination, getting married is still a romantic thing you do with the greatest person in the whole world, who completes you and makes you a better person. Right? Right?! RIIGHT!??

I will furthermore blame angry and confused singles on those who got married for commerical reasons, namely because they felt like they (usually women) were a ticking time bomb. Yes, if you rush into something or if it is more important to get married than to be married, then yes, I could see how marriage is a living hell for you - a living hell that YOU created. Congratulations!

My Life Cereal need not be a cereal at all.

Instead I look for someone who's view on relationships has not been ruined by observing selfish, meaningless and/or commercial couples. He would also have to be keen to the fact that SOME women do not want to 1.) Be a nag. 2.) Ruin your life. 3.) Pressure you into marriage/babies. 4.) Make you stay home. 5.) Spend all of you money. 5.) Etc. (You get the point) Unfortunately this seems to be the stance many men take on serious relationships.

Mikey has been telling everyone that Life Cereal is the way to go for almost 30 years, causing women to become hysterical and men to become scared. Life is so much more than cereal. Society needs to put down the silver spoon and think outside of the box.

Things my dad taught me.

Dad as Mr. Incredible.

You know the age when women decide they are starting to act like their mother. Well, I'm starting to act like my father. Weird. I know.

When I was a high schooler, my dad would come home with work-related banter all the time. "The teachers union...this. The board members...that. This kid was being insubordinate...blah." I would go to my room and slam the door and scream, "I'm SO TIRED of hearing about school all day! I go to school, then I come home and hear about SCHOOL!" Now, I'm working... in a school and studying to be an administrator. Well, it's a university, so I don't have to deal much with insubordination. But, you get the point.

Dad always kind of looked up to me for studying music as an undergrad, because it's something he said he wish he'd have had the guts to do... something artistic. He did mention to me after I graduated that he would be most delighted if I would find a nice young doctor or lawyer to marry, who would be able to "support my lifestyle." But, I'll forgive him for that and him only wanting the best for me. (P.S. Dad, lawyers are boring.);)

Dad did teach me a lot of great things, though.

"Don't be a social worker. There are professionals who do that." (Said when I was dating a 'bad' boy at school.)
TRANSLATION: Don't try to change people.

"It's hard to be humble when your perfect in every way."
TRANSLATION: Sometimes you need to realize that you simply kick ass.

"Don't lay down with that hard candy in your mouth."
TRANSLATION: Avoid simple mistakes that could lead to disasters.

"Be rich in love."
TRANSLATION: Money doesn't matter if you have love.

"In Jr. High school, there was this kid who was constantly picking on me. One day, I couldn't take it any more so I doubled up my fist and hit him. He never bothered me again." (Said when a girl in school was giving me a hard time.. I never had to hit her, but damn, I really wanted to.)
TRANSLATION: You've tried to deal with it, but there's only so much one person can take.

"Well, he didn't graduate LAST in his class." (Dad referring to a former boyfriend, after digging up his student records.)
TRANSLATION: I will accept anyone you chose, but do you really have to chose HIM?

"We moved around a lot because I got bored. The only thing I never got tired of was your mom."
TRANSLATION: Marry forever. Everything else will change.

"Why do I have to be your garbage disposal?" (Usually said when eating.)
TRANSLATION: Don't put your waste on other people to finish.

"We'll talk to you next week if not sooner, ok?" (How dad ends every phone conversation)
TRANSLATION: You can always talk to me.

These are a few of my favorite things...

WHEN THE DOG BITES, WHEN THE BEE STINGS, WHEN I'M FEELING SAAAADDDD... (Or when I'm studying for finals and singing a lot and feel overly stressed...);)

I had some interesting finds this week. Hope you like them as much as I did!

Psychologists Discuss Papers on FactorsAffecting Student Performance and Attitude

Azia Kim not only fooled Stanford University. She also put one over on members of an ROTC program at Santa Clara University, faking her way in and receiving uniforms, equipment and accolades from an instructor.

Second Life Education with Intellagirl!

Chickering's Seven Vectors of Defining Development of the College Student

Studying for finals

The professor for my College University Business Administration class emails us slides from class as study guides. I appreciate his attempt in trying to make budgeting slides somewhat enjoyable.

For God so
loved the
world that he
did not send a
committee.

…Well, in the
beginning that is.

Committees …get used to them.
Educational institutions love committees and as an employee of an educational institution you will be participating on committees. They are the essence of the governance structure and institutions democratic process.

As an administrator, your job will be to make the committee process work, to provide meaningful participation, and to lead whenever possible to purposeful outcomes that support the institution’s mission and master plan.

My professor has also taught me the appropriate use of the word "sexy" in a university setting. i.e.

Building a classroom = not sexy.
Building a Media Center = SEXY.

I will definitely be throwing "sexy" out around the office a lot more.

Now, back to studying for our final next week.

Sharing a pic from the past

I love this picture! My cousin, Jolene, found it as she was cleaning out her old car to sell it. I assume she'd made a poster board for her wedding (in 2004) with family photos and this one got lost in transport somehow. I'm glad she found it, and I'm glad she scanned it for me.

The baby se'moi. The woman is my aunt. The "bump" is Jolene.




Besides the sentiment, I particularly enjoy the huge glasses, the drapes and the shag carpet. Shakedown, 1979!

Breaking up is hard to do.

It's especially difficult to break off a relationship when you really love the way it makes you feel, most of the time. But, when the relationship causes hardship to your pocketbook or when your trust has deteriorated, it is time to leave.

I broke up with Club One and will be finished there on July 1. I'm very sad. I went this morning, and I feel pretty fabulous. Perhaps it was the 40 minutes of cardio, the core workout, the lovely high-pressure shower... but this relationship must end.

*sigh*

Club One raised my membership to $79 a month in January. This $31 raise in my dues really hurt my feelings. I thought I was one of their better members -- I went often, took some classes, knew a lot of nice people there, etc. I thought for a while that I loved Club One enough to pay the extra money for it. Instead, my participation has decreased. I've enjoyed more activities on my own and outside. Furthermore, since the increase, I've been talking to many people who, for some reason, do not pay as much as I do. Club One is cheating me when I've been so good. Why? *sniffle*

On top of the increase, they want ME to reduce my membership fee by asking my friends to join. Why would I ask my friends to join? It makes me feel like my being there isn't enough for them. (THREE-SOME?)I don't want to be the middle man! Besides, it's THEIR job to increase membership, NOT MINE. I'm not going to do their job for them. Also, why would I want my friends to feel ill-treated? That makes me pretty angry.

Also... *sigh*... I'll admit....

I'VE CHEATED. It's true! I went to Gold's and Ballys. You know what? I'LL DO IT AGAIN! I just wasn't getting what I wanted from you, Club One. My closest gym doesn't even have a POOL! I thought someone else could make me happy. Ballys treated me really well, but unfortunately it is not able to be in a relationship right now.

Someday my perfect gym will come!

29 Days and Counting...

...until my summer officially begins. Seems my friend Saba and I will have a hard time aligning schedules for pedicures/ or pizza/sushi night in the next few weeks. Helga will be busy moving soon, Arethusa is busy getting her life in order after the honeymoon, and George is so busy that's he's completely disappeared. Busy ladies (and man.. ha).

This week's activities will include: 6 hours of rehearsals, 2 concerts, one class session, studying for next week's final, and hopefully getting in 4 days of exercise.

I just got asked last-minute to sing in a wedding... for FREE! HA! No way, Jose!

A colleague of mine made up a little partial-Haiku about the University Academic year, and it goes a little something like this:

University
Fall's fine. Winter's worse. Spring sucks.
That's the way it is.

Fabulous Vacation for 1, please.

I've been looking online for a 4 day vacation/cruise/retreat/spa/ANYTHING. I need to get away for a few days after the next month of mass hysteria is over. Mass hysteria = work, class, choral season, everyone and their mom celebrating a birthday/graduation/life change, etc.

July 3 can't come quickly enough.

PROBLEM! Did you know it is IMPOSSIBLE to book a cruise or any type of vacation including accomodations online for one person to Mexico? What kind of crap is THAT? I just want to get away by myself, not burden anyone else, just slip away for a few days, turn off the cell phone and not come into contact with anyone. But, according to Orbiz.com, Priceline.com, Cheaptickets.com, Hotels.com, Travelocity.com (believe me, I've checked them all), I am not ALLOWED to go on vacation by myself. All bookings are for 2 people, or I'll just end up paying for 2-person rate anyway.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!? (I'm a little angry right now.)

So, I looked up a meatmarket *ahem* SINGLES Cruise at www.singlescruise.com. Here's what I found:

Single $1,669.00 Double $949.00

Even the Singles Cruise people want you to come in pairs! This is discrimination.

Where is George B.?

I'm very worried about George Bailey! I hope he is still having a wonderful life!!

Shall we all meet in the East Bay for lunch?

I had my suspisions.

Thank you Quiz Master for clearing this up. You are oh so wise!

You Are 41% Feminine, 59% Masculine

You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides. You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you. You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

A summer day in the life of...

Hi, it's me! I'm the girl at your BBQ that showed up with your friend, John. John and I know each other from college. He's just my friend. Ok, well we made out once but we both agreed it was a big mistake, and after all, that was in college and we've both grown up since then.

I'm really cool. You'll like me a lot because I'm a lot of fun. I'm nice to all of your friends. I bullshit with all of the guys, and compliment your girlfriends on the cuteness of their shoes. If I recognize anyone, I'll give them a big hug. That's just the way I roll.

Would I like a drink? Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I'd LOVE a beer. Not the raspberry beer, but if you have an amber ale, that would be great. Smirnoff Ice? Um, (politely) I don't think so.

John doesn't introduce me to anyone at the BBQ, because I'm already introducing myself. I work at such and such.. oh, you have a sister who went to school there, that's cool! I'm sorry I don't know anyone in the Business School... so-and-so sounds familiar, I'll have to look them up and say hello. Oh, you work at blah blah blah. That's cool. I don't know much about tech stuff, but I'm interested in anything. So, if you want to chat about it, that's fine. Ignore my silly questions.

Sure, I'll go on the tour of your new place. Oh wow (trying to be impressed) that's a really nice color in the bathroom, really I like it. Those are some fluffy towels. Very nice candles, too. Oh Macy's you say? Oh, how cute! You've done your daughter's room in the princess motive. Very original.

Ok, house tour is over. *whew* I'm heading back outside to the BBQ and I'll grab another beer while I'm at it. Oh, what a cute dog! What kind is he? I'll give him a scratch...

The women are still congregating in the kitchen. They never made their way back outside after the home tour. Now they are talking about Crate and Barrel. It's time to make a decision, Crate and Barrel or Oakland Raiders... Crate and Barrel or Oakland Raiders. Um, I choose Oakland Raiders.

No, I don't really like football, but I enjoy going to the games and eating hot dogs. I did got to a Raiders game once, and no, the fans didn't scare me much. My family were mostly Chicago fans, but like I said, I don't know much about football. Remember the Super Bowl shuffle? That was awesome. Good memories. Good times. I'd love another beer, oh and some guacamole dip. Thanks! No, really I can open my own beer. I'm liberated. You guys are hilarious!

It seems I'm outside with all of the guys. I should go in and see how the ladies are doing. I'm just having a good time, but they are starting to stare out the window and wondering wonder about me. No, I'm not trying to flirt with your husband. He's just funny. I'm not a home wrecker. Everyone is having such a good time out here... Um, yeah, I should get inside.

The ladies conversation has turned to their children. I'll just sit here silently and smile and nod, and try to add to the conversation. Yeah, my niece is really cute but she's a total pain in the ass. She lives in Iowa. I love her a lot. How old is your son? Oh, puke on the carpet. Very cute. *I'm screaming on the inside*

Ok, a few of the guys are coming in from outside. *whew* I feel relieved not to be the only female outside and the only person not interested in linens inside.

There are some nice couples here. That girl married to the hilarious guy is pretty cool. She calls him out on shit, and for that, I give her respect. It's so nice to talk with you both.

Hey, John. Thanks for bringing me. You'll be my alibi for feeling completely out of place. I know the guys don't mind if I hang out with them, but if the women ask, I'm just hanging out with YOU, ok? I just can't talk about weddings anymore. I'll just hang out with you the rest of the time so people don't get the wrong impression.

I'll get you a beer.

Why most men fail at online dating

As if it couldn't get any worse... now you are even a loser online and need to seek professional help. So much for virtual reality, or second life. No, really, get help.

This is so disappointing. Apparently picking up women online can work,"Like a machine."

This is hilarious!

Nice Driving, Steve Jobs.

iDon't think so!

i saw you yesterday, Mr. Jobs.

My friends and iwere heading out of the Apple complex, you were heading out of the Apple complex...

We were in an Audi, you were in a brand new Mercedes. That's right, perhaps Jen turned around and looked at you and that made you uncomfortable...

But did you really have the right to cut into the outside lane, around the corner and cut back in around other law abiding drivers, also waiting their turn to get on the freeway? There was also a man in the crosswalk as you sped around the corner. Hitting him would not have looked good for you, Steve.

We also saw you in the carpool lane on 280... oh, and we didn't see anyone else in your car, Sir. Didn't you read the sign? Carpool is 2 or MORE people in a car. We were also traveling at about 80 miles an hour and we lost sight of you in about 30 seconds. Were we in a hurry?

Yes, we know you are ridiculously rich and you can afford a speeding ticket, or a carpool lane ticket. But, until you start marketing the iCar or the iLane or the iRules of the Road, ithink you'd better behave yourself.

By the way, ijust bought a Dell laptop because idon't like bouncing icons. That's "icons" not "iCons" so get over yourself.

The joys of living in the Silicon Valley!

Running Update

Pat's Run, April 29, 2007
4.2 Miles

Overall: 246
Women: 37/1080
Time: 31:27
Pace: 7:30

Memories: Spending an early and cold morning with good friends, and unfortunately having to rush home to get ready for a performance in the East Bay.

The Human Race, May 12, 2007

10 K

Overall: 63

Women: 10
Time: 49:37
Pace: 7:59/M

Memories: Running like Phoebe Buffay for money. :)

Lick my face

Has anyone taken the Real Age Quiz ?

I took the quiz a few years ago, living in Las Vegas at the ripe old age of 23. As a 23-year-old recent college graduate, I was living on my own, working 60 hours a week in a job that was totally unsatisfying and had nothing to do with my B.A. I was underpaid, and worked a lot of evenings and weekends. I never had time to eat and was about 15 pounds thinner than I am now. I had 4 friends who were just as busy as myself. In order to have a social life, I'd go out on weeknights until 2 am, do a lot of really unhealthy things, and suffer through the next work day. I was not taking care of myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, artistically.. nothin'.

I hated life and I was lonely.
My Real Age was 35.7. (Actual age 23)

Today I feel pretty happy and healthy. I surround myself by people, I like my job. I work out regularly, and just ran a 10K over the weekend. I took the quiz again.
My Real Age is 36. (Actual age 27.8)

After you take the Real Age quiz, they try to sell you a bunch of health products. Of course! They also send emails with information about increasing amounts of vitamins, healthy diet, healthy habits, blah blah blah. A common tip I keep getting from the Real Age People:

"Get a Pet."

Hmmm... I'm wondering if this is the result of checking the "Single" box during the quiz? I did mention that I have plenty of friends and am surrounded by people all the time. But, somehow Real Age doesn't think that's enough.

The idea of being a "cat person" scares me, although I do like felines.

I'd LOVE to have a dog! I would give him a normal person's name like "Ralph" or "Dave" and tell my friends how wonderfully active we are. i.e. "Dave and I went to the trail today and ran 6 miles!" or "Ralph and I went to an art and wine festival today, and we met the cutest Bulldog, Sophie, and her owner, Mike." :)

I've thought a lot about introducing a dog into my life, but it's just a bad time. I don't have the money, the time, or the space to take care of such a large animal. And, yes, I would want a larger dog. I dream of the day when I am able to shop for woman's best friend...

A.) Yes, it's a pit bull. B.) Running/athletic Greyhound. C.) Rottweilers are good Germans.

Beyonce Obsession

Whereby an intellectual finds pop culture amusing and somewhat relevant. I like the sentiment, although the presentation isn't really my style. Shouldn't couples upgrade each other? Otherwise, what's the point?



"You need a good woman in your life. Takin' care of home, and still fly. Partner, I can upgrade you."

My roommate is hating me right now. But, he's the one watching "Dreamgirls!" ;)

I'll date you, Shorty.

Every so often, while checking my Hotmail account, I see an interesting tidbit from MSN. Usually it's some generic topic that women read in Cosmo to assure themselves that they are on the right track, although they could have figured it out on their own: "10 Reasons He's Not The One" or "10 Best Shoes of Summer." (Yes, sweetie, he's been dating you for 2 years and you've never met his family... time to get a clue.)

Recently I've realized that MSN is focusing more of these articles towards the men-folk. Today's articles include:

Men: Control your rage before it kills you
NFL to add 17th game?
Lohan to Play Stripper in Next Film

Honestly, I'd rather read a men's article and have something to think about instead of reading another edition of, "How to Please Your Man." Lame. Lame. Lame.

Anyhoo, while sending an email today, my eye caught this little tidbit courtesy MSN:

Dating when you're a short guy

If I were a shorter guy, I would be seriously offended. The article implies that there is nothing wrong with shorter guys... only that women aren't as attracted to them. That's horrible. I mean, don't different people just have different preferences? Shouldn't we believe simply that there is someone out there for everyone? Short, tall, fat, skinny. Fine, shorter guys have a harder time getting a date. But, so do anti-social guys, or guys with a twitch, or guys who live at home... There are plenty of other reasons why people can't get a date. The reason someone can't get a date can not be based on height alone.

I am also a little offended because I've dated some shorter guys. I like them. Why not? Most of them are taller than me. :) I prefer some broad shoulders and an athletic build, but it's only because I'm pretty athletic myself and I wouldn't want to cause a guy physical harm. *ha* Anyhoo, I'd pick a shorter guy with a big personality over one of those tall, boring lanky dudes (Cornflakes) anyday.

Who is this Jason Kersten who writes for Maxim and Rolling Stone? Is he short? I actually looked up his image on Google and he's not bad ;)... I think he needs a female writing partner to tie up any loose ends and to make guys realize that different women want different things.

Dating when you’re a short guy
By Jason Kersten (and Suziemusi)

It’s hard out there for a shrimp (Because most women can't look past the trivial stuff..that's not your fault, shorty. I enjoy Jason's reference to "Hustle and Flow" however.) Chalk it up to cold Darwinism, cultural standards, or the simple feminine desire to have a man around who can reach the top shelf (Because she is somehow not capable of getting out a step stool herself, even in 2007) but just about every stature study in the last twenty years confirms what short guys already know: Women prefer taller men (Because taller men tend to have more self-confidence ans women are ridiculous!). But that doesn’t mean shorter men are doomed in the dating department (if they have a personality). In fact, lots of men who fall under America’s 5’9” male average date with great success—often with taller women. Their playbook (It's all a game, right?), honed by necessity, is all about evening the odds and picking up subtle signs of interest that their loftier brothers might ignore. Not convinced? Let these men’s struggles and solutions prove otherwise.

Challenge #1: Being short can wreak havoc with your confidence (which is a MAJOR turn-off to women)
While many women are happy to date a great guy regardless of his height, for some girls (especially the tall ones) it’s an instant deal breaker—and, given men are often responsible for making the first move (which is a bunch of crap) it can be tricky to know how to proceed. (You might want to think about dating a woman who ISN'T 5'9'' and seen in Playboy. That will greatly increase your odds of getting a date. Don't expect women to "lower" their standards if you can't "lower" yours.) There was a woman I was absolutely smitten with,” recalls Charles, 40, who’s a 5’7” surgeon living in New York City. “She was only a couple inches taller than me and friendly to me in group settings, so I figured I’d give it a shot. But after trying unsuccessfully to get a date with her, one of her friends finally told me the deal: I was too short for her.” (This could have been a nicer way of her telling you that she thinks your unattractive for other reasons.) Another experience many shorter guys suffer is when women do warm up to them... as a friend but this could be for another reason besides being short. “One time I was out with a short buddy of mine and a tall girl he was hitting on did the one thing that all short guys hate: She put his arm around him kind of like one would do with a little brother,” shudders Eric, a 40-year-old paramedic from Louisville, KY who’s 5’7”. Understandably, such experiences can leave many short guys feeling gun-shy. (Nice phallic reference, Jason.) “If I’m approaching a woman who’s taller than me, I’d probably be dissuaded much more easily,” continues Eric. “I’ll probably interpret any bit of coyness or lack of enthusiasm as ‘Well, she just doesn’t go for shorter guys’ and steer clear.” (So, you're a quitter. Nice.)

(Realization): Know that plenty of women don’t mind half as much as you think
While sussing out who’s open to dating in the lower height ranges isn’t easy, there are ways to get a handle on who’s game. Case in point: Most men don’t pay that much attention to a woman’s shoes, but shorter guys hone in on them, and for good reason. “If I see a tall woman who’s got on four-inch heels, that’s a subtle message that she’s into being tall and it’s part of her personality. I’ll generally avoid these types as a rule,” says Eric (Obviously he believes in first impressions, although they may not be correct. Heels make legs look long and lean - it's fashion more than anything. We dress mostly to impress other women, not to impress men.) “But when I see a tall woman who wears flats, it’s a clear sign she’s not caught up in being tall. (Perhaps she has a tall complex.) As a matter of fact, she’s trying to bring herself down a little bit (So she doesn't hurt YOUR ego?) So I approach.” And for women, the word is that you need to be more explicit and encouraging if you’re interested in a shorter guy. “The taller women that I’ve dated actually came more to me than I pursued them,” says Eric, who is currently dating a woman a couple inches taller than him. “The woman I’m dating right now came and gave me a kiss at a party. It was that easy.” (Well, she thinks your cute as a button.)

Challenge #2: In the online dating world, height can be listed as a mate must-have
On many online dating sites, members are asked to list their own height as well as the desired stature of the people they’d like to date. (Just lie about your stats a little - everyone else is doing it.) For shorter guys, this can present obvious problems—and while it’s tempting to fudge the facts a few inches in your profile, the game will be over once you meet face to face. (Chances are your impression of them will be diminished too, so no need to worry.) “If you walk into a date and you’ve said you’re two inches taller than you are, then you might as well be wearing a big sign that says ‘liar,’” points out Eric. So be honest, but also be willing to take a proactive role in scanning for and emailing women online since you may not make their minimum height requirement when they do the searching.

(Realization): Realize that most women will bend their rules for the right guy
While the situation may look bleak, shorter online daters shouldn’t despair and here’s why: What women list they want in a mate ideally can be light years from what they’re perfectly happy to accept in the right guy. (Likely, they'll find out that your not the right guy for them anyway.) Eric, for one, was at first surprised when his online profile got interest from taller women who were breaking the very height requirements they listed in their own online profile. (Obviously, Eric has a personality.) “They write that they’re looking for a taller guy, but then again, they’re contacting me,” he says, adding that at first he felt the need to explain to them that he might not live up to their lofty standards. “I used to tell them I’m a lot shorter than you’re looking for, but I don’t do it anymore because it’s pointless. They see it in your profile anyway.” Bill, a 35-year-old publishing executive from Rochester, NY, who’s 5’6”, says he’s had a good response online from women of all heights. (Then again, if asked, would he tell them he DIDN'T have a good response -- come on.)“I have taller girls emailing me a lot, even though I don’t meet the height they say they’re looking for,” he says, “They all tell me my profile made them laugh. I think the key is having something to capture their attention other than height. Humor’s the best.”

Challenge #3: Short guys aren’t always taken seriously
Even guys who do find a gal who’s fine and dandy with a height differential ("Even if" like it doesn't happen... come on, Jason!) know that being an odd couple can be hard—for instance, strangers may do double-takes and friends and family may make snide, behind-the-back comments from friends and family. (So, you will be forever odd and laughed at by your friends and family? That's not very nice.) “Generally speaking, if you’re a short guy and you’re dating a tall woman and you walk into a bar, people tend to laugh or whisper about you,” says Eric. “Or have you ever noticed how men think it’s OK to hit on a tall girl even if it’s obvious she’s dating the short dude standing right next to her?” (Tall dudes have their own set of issues to deal with.)

(Realization): Confidence can make any guy seem ten feet tall
One lesson short guys learn early on is that confidence, not height, is the ultimate aphrodisiac. “If you’re hitting on a taller woman, don’t even blink,” recommends Bill. “Just interact totally straight on, like there’s nothing weird. (Implying that there is something weird)Never let your actual stature affect your sense of metaphorical stature.” In fact, showing a taller girl your chutzpah works especially well when you’re short. “If a woman is taller than you, she knows that she’s taller than you, then she’ll see your approaching her as a sign that you’re very confident with who you are.’ That puts you in a very good light, in front of her and in front of others,” says Eric. So when you’re taking a woman out and get a double-take or see someone giggling in your direction, remember: Your date chose to go out with you because you have all kinds of great things going for you. So don’t let another person’s height hang-up put a dent in your confidence. And that brings up a valuable big-picture perspective: Height hang-ups are just that—another person’s issue, not yours. (So, why did you call them "coping strategies," Jason, and refer to them "odd" and "weird" and "shrimp".) So if you do get rebuffed because of your stature, consider how Charles looks at the situation: “If a girl doesn’t want to date me because I’m shorter, I just think ‘Too bad for her. She’s missing out on me.’” (I tell myself this ALL the time, too!)

Jason Kersten is a regular contributor to Maxim, Rolling Stone, and other magazines. To read the other side of the story, click here. (Suziemusi is a regular blogger who likes to comment on articles she reads and is not published or famous.)

You can't take it with you.

I was in the Dallas burbs over the weekend visiting my cousin. Honestly, it was VERY appealing for a lot of reasons: close to family, an international airport, favorable weather (I can deal with humidity), close to the city and entertainment, fantastic people, plenty of universities at which to work, and VERY nice cost of living. Problem = I can't go unless I can take my favorite parts of California with me... So, if anyone can find a way to package these things, please let me know:

Ethnic cuisine - We're not talking Olive Garden here, we're talking about family-owned, with Grandma's cooking from the old country. Even better when food is curried, eaten with hands or chopsticks, and/or totally unpronounceable.

Diversity - I need at least one Hispanic neighbor, one of Asian decent, and one African-American within 2 blocks of my $350,000 4-bedroom house.

Mountains - Not that I'm an avid skier, but they are pretty to look at and they give you something to hike up. They also make a lovely music and art venue.

Liberals - I'm not saying everyone needs to be liberal, but at least one person with an Obama '08 sticker on their Mini Cooper would be nice.

Expensive gas, people who don't look you in the eye, gang violence, drugs, and anything having to to with Hollywood or Los Angeles can stay in California.

Thanks for listening! Have a nice day!

I swear, I'll write later.

South Bay Ken

It seems many girlfriends who intentionally move out of the South Bay for "bigger and better things" (i.e. to live in the fabulous City or even with the intention of living happily single) meet a nice, SJ guy and find themselves back in the South Bay. What is this phenomenon? In addition to a few friends *Ahem, Saba* just last week I met two more ladies - one at my gym and one on Caltrain - who live in SF but have an SJ beau. We obviously have some quality males down here! I feel the South Bay has been overlooked and underrepresented!

Moreover, a friend of mine recently alerted me to the East Bay Barbie.














"Danville Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

It seems we need to represent the South Bay here! Come on guys and gals, take your best shot a creating a South Bay Ken or South Bay Barbie.

For example -

"Silicon Valley Ken"

A little socially awkward, but the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. Slightly overweight but has a high-end gym membership, usually hyped up on Coca Cola, wears polo shirts with a high-tech logo. Comes equipped with state-of-the-art Blackberry, a bunch of miscellaneous computer parts and a Porche Carrera, although he lives with his mother.

Please feel free to edit. Any other ideas?

San Jose Ken:

Palo Alto Ken:

Sunnyvale Ken:

Mountain View Ken:

Almaden Valley Ken:

Campbell Ken:

Saratoga Ken:

Los Gatos Ken:

Gilroy Ken:

Morgan Hill Ken:

I couldn't help it

"No, really baby. It's okay - I'll get it... you just get the car door."

The Human Race

Dear Friends (and other people I like),

On May 12, 2007 I will be participating in the 14th Annual Human Race 10K to support Choral Project and other Not-for-profit organizations in the greater Silicon Valley area. Assisting not-for-profit organizations is a service to all human beings. The work done by these organizations are often done selflessly, to support a better society and a better life for all citizens. Furthermore these organizations depend much on volunteers to keep their mission.

The Choral Project is a vital music organization in the South Bay in which I am directly involved. Our mission is to heal our world through music and words. The benefits to keeping music vital in society are immeasurable.

This summer Choral Project will compete in the First Annual International Choral Competition in California in San Luis Obispo, CA. During this week of friendly competition, we will have the opportunity to combine forces with choirs of Spain, Poland, Uganda and the Philippines to share a remarkable experience with each other and our audiences.

My goal for the Human Race is to raise $500.00 and to run at an 8-mile pace. (Um, I have a lot of training to do.) I would appreciate your donation to Choral Project and other Silicon Valley non-profits in any amount your budget allows. Please let me know if you are interested in making a donation, and I'll give you the address to send a check.

Your donation is tax-deductible! If I make my donation goal*, I will run over the finish line like Phoebe Buffay from “Friends” and send you the link to the picture. (I know everyone needs a little extra incentive.)

* (Disclaimer: If I make my pace goal, I will be physically unable to run over the finish line like Phoebe Buffay. But, I’m not quite up to 8-minute miles, so your odds are really good!)

Human Race Website:
http://www.vcsv.us/humanrace

Choral Project Website:
http://www.choralproject.org

Benefits of Music Listening:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=music+listening+benefits

Phoebe running style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_0Ta_DIWuU

Thanks all!

Cereal Dating: Part Deux

Ok, kids, here's the deal. I just checked my statistics and blog viewing went to an all-time high last October and November when I began my special on "Cereal Dating." Unfortunately, I'm a bit worn out to take on cereal dating again, so I need your help.

CALL FOR CEREALS

I'm looking for good stories about dating to put on my blog. Names of persons involved will remain confidential. This is a chance for you to use any fake name you please (Betty? Dirk?). For the "cereals" - please be original. They can have fruit and yogurt, but they MUST be cereal... don't try comparing your date to bacon or eggs.. this defeats the purpose. If you can't think of an appropriate cereal name, just tell the story and a cereal name will be chosen for you.

If I get enough responses, I'll post a SATURDAY MORNING BREAKFAST SPECIAL or something...

Call is open to all single ladies OR men with good cereal analogies. Pass along to your friends.

Thank you.

MySpace Top 8 Signals Divorce?

I've received flack from some of my 30-something friends who think MySpace is a networking site for those 20-somethings who believe people give a crap about their boring entry level jobs or frat party lifestyles. I disagree. My profile is set to private and I only accept people I actually know to be my "Friends." Secondly, I think it's fun to have a place to be completely narcissistic with 150 of your "Friends." Everyone wants to be famous, after all - even if it's just within a small circle. Lastly, because I've lived in 3 different states and attended 6 different schools, it's a good way to stay up-to-date with those you would have otherwise lost touch.

I will usually go into one of my friends profiles when I see they have posted a new picture. This signals that there has been some activity -- perhaps they added another friend with whom I'm also acquainted, maybe there are pictures of their children, their trip to New York, or....

Perhaps they are getting a divorce.

My first love is among my MySpace friends. We dated for over a year in high school, broke up for about two years, then dated again for about 4 months in college. He was the perfect first boyfriend, but it was clear being "high school sweethearts" was not in the cards. I went to college, he tried college but dropped out. I moved to California, he went into the Navy. He is living 30 minutes from where we went to high school, I'm never going to live there again.

I was VERY excited to find Q on MySpace 6 months ago; we hadn't spoken in 7 years. Seeing his face was a flush of excitement and brought back some great memories of times we shared. Q's profile picture was of he and his wife looking very happy at a Kansas City Chiefs game. He'd also posted pictures of his son, who's name is Q Jr. (Q was always very proud of his name. Even in high school he told me he wanted to name a son after himself.) Of course, number one in his Top 8 is his wife. So, I checked her out too. She seemed pretty cool too, almost like someone I'd like to hang out with. I was glad to see them happy.

Today I log in and see that Q's picture has changed, so I take a gander. Was there anything NEW? Well, there were NO more pictures of he and his wife. His wife seems no longer to be in his Top 8.

Every day I hear MySpace drama from college students. "OMG! He changed his status to 'In a Relationship', I'm so heartbroken." OR "OMG! The guy I'm dating just changed his 'orientation' to 'NOT SURE.' What does that mean?" (Yes, that actually happened.)

Unfortunately these simple profile changes become much more serious in your late 20's and beyond. What was once a little drama in your 20's now involves other people- including children. I think it's important when using MySpace, a dating website, or even a BLOG to remember that you are exposing yourself... you might even be exposing something that is "None of their business." If you're going to put your life out there - be prepared to expose yourself completely.

Again, not everything is as it seems. (God knows, I've recently been misunderstood by being online.) I hope this is true for Q and his wife, and especially Q Jr. I'm thinking positive thoughts for them.

Why don't we listen?

The Washington Post recently had an article entitled "Pearls Before Breakfast" in which Joshua Bell, one of the worlds greatest living violin players was asked to play in a D.C. train station during rush hour. It's a long article - but it's truly fascinating.

The experiment suggested one large err in human judgement - most people don't realize a good thing unless it hits them in the face, (even then, it is often unappreciated). I am also guilty. We are in such a narcissistic rush to be individuals that we forget to enjoy the wonderful things that fall into our laps on a daily basis. When it comes to aesthetics, most human beings have similar tastes. There is a general consensus about beauty in Western culture, especially among those with a similar ethnic and educational background. The individuals passing Joshua Bell in the train station were mostly educated government officials going to work... people who would pay to go to a symphony or opera.

Why didn't they stop?

Also interesting is the idea of context in human relationships. Human beings are often only able to deal with the world outside of ourselves in the context of our own minds. Joshua Bell would have been more appreciated had he been playing in his usual context - on a stage for a large symphony with patrons paying $100 to see him. But, his playing in a train station went almost unnoticed. Furthermore, many thought it a distraction.

What's wrong with us? How many beautiful experiences are we missing out on?

A visitor in our midst

I am no longer dating Special K, and for what reason? Well, it seems he thinks I was dating other people, which is completely not true. I've decided there is nothing I can do. Either one of two things are going on here 1.) He is paranoid and sabotaging the relationship or 2.) He just wants out of the relationship, and has decided to play the victim.

So, how could this have been avoided?

Well, first of all, he could have included me in his activities. By inclusion, one feels they are getting the whole story and are not only being asked to hang out when it is convenient for the other person. Secondly, there were plenty of opportunities in which I tried to include Special K in my activities, and he usually seemed uninterested. By talking to any one of my friends he would have easily found out that I'm not dating anyone else -- he would have also seen me in my own comfortable context.

Unfortunately none of these things happened, so I believe, he took the underground railroad to Victimsville and decided to make ME look like the bad guy when, in fact, he just simply doesn't want to date anymore.

There are plenty of reasons why maybe we shouldn't date - distance probably being the largest factor. But, had he said, "Hey, it's too far. This isn't working out." Even if he would have said, "Hey, I want to date other people." That is also acceptable.

How can I clear my name and prove that I'm not a liar? Well, to expose myself completely by giving Special K the link to my blog, of course! I have nothing to hide. That's right -- go into the November archives, or oh, January is quite interesting... in fact, here are some helpful links:

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2006/12/cereal-dating-status-month-1_13.html

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2007/01/back-on-fabulous-campaign-horse.html

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2007/02/so-i-just-returned-from-motucky.html

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2007/03/i-like-you-i-really-do.html

I'm nothing if not bold.

"Speak softly and carry a big gun...

Things have gotten seriously out of hand since Roosevelt spoke the original West African proverb, "Speak softly and carry a big stick, and you will go far."

In fact, those we SHOULD fear are those who speak very softly, and carry a big gun... and they are not furthering anything, only taking innocent lives.

Since hearing of the massacre at Virginia Tech, I've had the voice of my ex-German going through my head. "In Germany, we can't have guns." "In Germany, we take people out of society who are a threat to it."

What are we doing wrong? Please don't tell me Michael Moore is right. Please don't tell me my friend in Las Vegas who feels he needs to carry a gun to protect himself and his family is correct in doing so! I'm not saying you can't have a gun, I'm just saying that I'd hope to live in a society where carrying one is unnecessary. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case.

Fear of Commitment & The 3-year Plan

Have I mentioned previously how much I hate indecisiveness? Oh, I think I have. (It's under Weird Wednesday.)

I just read an article about how fear of commitment renders you powerless. You are better off to make a wrong decision than not to make one at all. Per the article, to make a commitment is to make a decision -- it could be the decision to say "YES" as a decision to say "NO." Those who do not make commitments often allow others to make them FOR them, leading to dissatisfaction. To make a commitment is to have power over yourself and your life.

I HAVE THE POWWEEER!!!!

I'm mostly a commitment person. I have a pretty easy time committing to things. I'll admit sometimes they are not easy decisions, and sometimes they are bad decisions. By giving myself the power to choose, I have the power to "un-choose" as I please. The main objective for me is -- Pick one! Please!

Unfortunately I seem to have relationships with a lot of commitment-wary individuals (those who, obviously, do NOT have the POWWEEER!), both in my personal life and at work. Not a day goes by that I'm not waiting for someone to make a decision so I can finish a project at work. Often I make the decision to move forward on the project, and am then scrutinized because someone didn't like the way I finished it.

In the workplace, administrators constantly talk about the 3-year plan, the 5-year plan, long term plans, capital projects plan, performance review plan. I used to think all of this planning was unnecessary, until I started to realize that by "planning," you are also making "commitments" to move forward, therefore giving you the POWWEERR!

So, I put together a 3-year personal plan. My plan includes:

- Taking out a student loan (Finalizing next week)

- Expediting MA courses (Courses have been mapped out.)

- Finishing said MA degree in Spring 2008

- Advancing in my career (Specifics have been mapped out.)

- Possible work/life relocation (5-year plan will include buying property.)

- Paying off all debt by 2010 (Fingers crossed.)

I told my best friend from High School, Alison, about the 3-year plan -- she said hers would include running a marathon and a baby. What's your 3-year plan?

Lull

I haven't had anything to write about. It's SPRING! You'd think I'd have SOMETHING good to say, but alas, besides allergies nothing is coming to me. The work place is going through some massive changes this week, but I'm not going to blog out of fear of Big Brother.

I was in Las Vegas over the weekend visiting friends who are new parents. We didn't go to the Strip, we didn't go clubbing, we didn't gamble, we didn't stay out late... I'm tired of Vegas anyway. I've decided not to give the State of Nevada any money for the next couple of years. My friends need to come out an visit me in the Bay Area.

Classes start on Tuesday. I'm taking "Finance in Higher Education". Should be illuminating. Really, it should. I think it will be interesting.

I'm going to Dallas in May to visit my cousin. I've never been to Texas, and I'll admit that the thought of a weekend in the Lone Star State is kind of exciting-- very excited to go to Billy Bob's Texas! That's right. I'm going to get my country on.

Anyone got a topic starter?

If you mean it - WEAR it!

Disclaimer: Above shirt has very little to do with original intent of post, but it was just too good to pass up.

Imagine this:

You are in a long distance relationship with someone who lives in a MUCH cooler city than you. There are things to do in this other town: movies, ethnic cuisine, festivals, music etc. But, you travel a lot for work and it is sometimes easier for your boy/girl/um-friend to visit your town-- to chill out, watch a movie and cook dinner at home. This sweet and wonderful person likes you a lot, and will drive to your kind of sad, small, out-of-the-way strip mall land because he/she enjoys spending time with you.

Perhaps you worry that your boy/girl/um-friend will judge you for living in Smallville and isn't accepting of your lifestyle. Then, they show up at your house wearing this:








Now, wouldn't that be the sweetest gesture ever? Come on?

Better yet (this is my favorite) -

Today's obsession provided by: http://www.cafepress.com/

Daily Affirmation

"I've always wished for more single girlfriends, so I made some. Now, they want to have girls nights out all the time - I don't have time to date! Could this ruin my love life? Be careful what you wish for."

-- Jaqueline Handy ;)

Narcissism

My wonderful husband (roommate) brought this home for me last night. He knows exactly what interests me. Isn't he the greatest thing a girl could ask for?

Study finds college students more narcissistic...