No one wants to go with me to a Halloween party tonight -- too busy, too sick, too not-answering-emails-or-phone calls. I'm going to end up doing homework tonight.
Booooo!
I guess there are always the S.C.U.M.B.A.G.S. tomorrow night.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Halloween Fun
I usually am not a big fan of holidays. Even Halloween. Two years ago I went to happy hour with a co-worker and didn't make it past 9:30 to attend a costumed celebration. Last year was a HUGE step up when I pulled out the ole' Junior year prom dress (happily I fill it out now... woot woo *whistle*), made a sash and went out in Los Gatos as Miss Idahoe (yes, with an "e"). Only the "Los Gatos Trophy Wives" could outdo me. Anyway, the girlfriend I was out with ended up persuading two out-of-town guys to hang out with us, and the night ended up with my saying, "Um, yeah, I'm tired. Why don't we take you guys back to your hotel."
I'm truly a mother hen.
So, this year I'm going to two, yes TWO Halloween celebrations and I'm going to have a good time if it kills me. The first party is a singles celebration on the peninsula, the second, a friendly bash with MBA students. WOOT! I'm also not going to join the ranks of slutty Halloween nurses, maids, devils or cats and think up an original costume. If I can't think of anything by Friday, well, Miss Idahoe deserves another reign? Dontcha think?
Miss Idahoe, from Iowa City, Ohio:
She's a much better public speaker than Miss Teen South Carolina.
I'm truly a mother hen.
So, this year I'm going to two, yes TWO Halloween celebrations and I'm going to have a good time if it kills me. The first party is a singles celebration on the peninsula, the second, a friendly bash with MBA students. WOOT! I'm also not going to join the ranks of slutty Halloween nurses, maids, devils or cats and think up an original costume. If I can't think of anything by Friday, well, Miss Idahoe deserves another reign? Dontcha think?
Miss Idahoe, from Iowa City, Ohio:
She's a much better public speaker than Miss Teen South Carolina.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The Adventures of Mr. Striped Shirt
Yay! It's girls night out! My friend is celebrating as a single woman before she marries the most perfect guy ever! We decided to hit this club because one of the girls knows the D.J. - we have V.I.P. passes, free booze, and a safe limo drive home! We are having a good time.
Yeah, we're a little wild - It's a bachelorette party! We decided to all wear wigs! It's kind of silly, but we think we're cute. We'll have some good pictures to show our friends.
Let's hit the dance floor! Yeah this is the same kind of music they play at all of the clubs, but this seems to be a cool mix of people and we typically dance in a circle anyway. Besides, we've all had a few, and we're having fun! We like to shake our asses a little when we dance and sing along. There seems to be someone with bad breath and a striped shirt lurking in the shadows. Uh, oh, don't make eye contact, he's coming over...
Sure, we like to dance. Dancing is a part of our culture. We may be a little wild, but we are just having a good time. Suddenly we realize that there is a guy lurking behind. Our smiles turn to smirks as you creep over behind my friend. You are being pretty sly, there. Nice job. No one was giving you a come-hither stare... so why did you come over? My friend is engaged to a great guy, she didn't want to sleep with YOU... none of us want to sleep with you. Who is the maid of honor? Does it matter? She doesn't want to sleep with you either, and she especially doesn't want your junk on her leg. Don't be up in her grill, dude. It's "girls" night - get it? Punk.
Oh, I see. You wanted to grab on my friend. Well, she is not interested in you but doesn't know how to tell you to leave. She's barely dancing anymore. We are all laughing at you, but you are too drunk to notice. You give us all a glazed over stare and a smirk - yeah, you think you are the man.
Finally, one of us has to tell you to stop. But, why are you so upset? Don't call my friend names, she doesn't like that! OH, you say my friend is a lesbian. That's interesting. Just because she doesn't want to feel your junk near her butt, doesn't really make her a lesbian, now does it? If that's what will keep you away...yes, we are all lesbians. Go away. Please don't come back. Don't be talking trash about lesbians either, or I'll have to find one to kick your ass.
Oh, your friends don't really know what to do. They are neither helping nor hindering you. Some wing-men they are. You all go out, thinking you're going to be able to rub your junk on a bunch of girls because you are drunk and looking swave in your Banana Republic striped shirt. Yeah, not so.
How to spot "Mr. Stripped Shirt"
1.) He's in a group of other stripped shirts. They are like a herd of zebras.
4.) He is surrounded by women, or he surrounds women.. one of the two.
3.) He is the drunkest guy at the bar
4.) He is the loudest guy at the bar
5.) If you can't spot him at this point, you need to take off your beer goggles or something...
Yeah, we're a little wild - It's a bachelorette party! We decided to all wear wigs! It's kind of silly, but we think we're cute. We'll have some good pictures to show our friends.
Let's hit the dance floor! Yeah this is the same kind of music they play at all of the clubs, but this seems to be a cool mix of people and we typically dance in a circle anyway. Besides, we've all had a few, and we're having fun! We like to shake our asses a little when we dance and sing along. There seems to be someone with bad breath and a striped shirt lurking in the shadows. Uh, oh, don't make eye contact, he's coming over...
Sure, we like to dance. Dancing is a part of our culture. We may be a little wild, but we are just having a good time. Suddenly we realize that there is a guy lurking behind. Our smiles turn to smirks as you creep over behind my friend. You are being pretty sly, there. Nice job. No one was giving you a come-hither stare... so why did you come over? My friend is engaged to a great guy, she didn't want to sleep with YOU... none of us want to sleep with you. Who is the maid of honor? Does it matter? She doesn't want to sleep with you either, and she especially doesn't want your junk on her leg. Don't be up in her grill, dude. It's "girls" night - get it? Punk.
Oh, I see. You wanted to grab on my friend. Well, she is not interested in you but doesn't know how to tell you to leave. She's barely dancing anymore. We are all laughing at you, but you are too drunk to notice. You give us all a glazed over stare and a smirk - yeah, you think you are the man.
Finally, one of us has to tell you to stop. But, why are you so upset? Don't call my friend names, she doesn't like that! OH, you say my friend is a lesbian. That's interesting. Just because she doesn't want to feel your junk near her butt, doesn't really make her a lesbian, now does it? If that's what will keep you away...yes, we are all lesbians. Go away. Please don't come back. Don't be talking trash about lesbians either, or I'll have to find one to kick your ass.
Oh, your friends don't really know what to do. They are neither helping nor hindering you. Some wing-men they are. You all go out, thinking you're going to be able to rub your junk on a bunch of girls because you are drunk and looking swave in your Banana Republic striped shirt. Yeah, not so.
How to spot "Mr. Stripped Shirt"
1.) He's in a group of other stripped shirts. They are like a herd of zebras.
4.) He is surrounded by women, or he surrounds women.. one of the two.
3.) He is the drunkest guy at the bar
4.) He is the loudest guy at the bar
5.) If you can't spot him at this point, you need to take off your beer goggles or something...
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Be thurprithed at Fryths
(Be surprised at Fry's) For those of you who aren't familiar with the large discount electronics chain - "Be surprised, at Frys" is the company slogan.
I was more in fear for my life at Frys. Admittedly I've only been to Frys 3-4 times - very hard to believe for many of you tech savvy people or even native Californians.
I really thought this time it would be different... it wasn't.
I'm sure you know that all Frys have a "theme." What is this place? Like Prom or something? Anyway my neighborhood Frys is supposed to look like the inside of King Tuts tomb. Very weird.
The sales people don't really "sell" anything, they just tell you where things are - Knowing this, I brought in a borrowed AC adaptor, found a friendly geek, ahem, sorry, salesperson, and said, "Where is this?"
He said, (pointing) "All along this wall."
That's it? No, "What kind do you have?" "Here are your options.." Nada. All I needed was a Dell AC adaptor for my notebook, and they only had this generic adaptor that costs the same as buying the Dell one online. I was disappointed.
The clientele at Frys is also disappointing. You'd think it would be chalk full of smart men. Not so. Or, perhaps smart, but living-with-your-mother kind of smart, if you get my drift. It's chalk full of, well, very interesting people. They also come completely solitary, or in inappropriately large groups. It's not just techie dudes, either. I saw a woman laughing hysterically in one of the aisles. Goodness! Is there really ANYTHING to laugh about at Frys?
As I was leaving, even the greeter guy had a slight lisp. "Thanths for sthoping in." He said.
Frys is really a stereotype. I feel like I should start taking my out-of-town visitors there to experience the real (totally stereotypical) Silicon Valley.
Come on, tech geeks! Let me hear your Frys stories!
I was more in fear for my life at Frys. Admittedly I've only been to Frys 3-4 times - very hard to believe for many of you tech savvy people or even native Californians.
I really thought this time it would be different... it wasn't.
I'm sure you know that all Frys have a "theme." What is this place? Like Prom or something? Anyway my neighborhood Frys is supposed to look like the inside of King Tuts tomb. Very weird.
The sales people don't really "sell" anything, they just tell you where things are - Knowing this, I brought in a borrowed AC adaptor, found a friendly geek, ahem, sorry, salesperson, and said, "Where is this?"
He said, (pointing) "All along this wall."
That's it? No, "What kind do you have?" "Here are your options.." Nada. All I needed was a Dell AC adaptor for my notebook, and they only had this generic adaptor that costs the same as buying the Dell one online. I was disappointed.
The clientele at Frys is also disappointing. You'd think it would be chalk full of smart men. Not so. Or, perhaps smart, but living-with-your-mother kind of smart, if you get my drift. It's chalk full of, well, very interesting people. They also come completely solitary, or in inappropriately large groups. It's not just techie dudes, either. I saw a woman laughing hysterically in one of the aisles. Goodness! Is there really ANYTHING to laugh about at Frys?
As I was leaving, even the greeter guy had a slight lisp. "Thanths for sthoping in." He said.
Frys is really a stereotype. I feel like I should start taking my out-of-town visitors there to experience the real (totally stereotypical) Silicon Valley.
Come on, tech geeks! Let me hear your Frys stories!
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