I'll date you, Shorty.

Every so often, while checking my Hotmail account, I see an interesting tidbit from MSN. Usually it's some generic topic that women read in Cosmo to assure themselves that they are on the right track, although they could have figured it out on their own: "10 Reasons He's Not The One" or "10 Best Shoes of Summer." (Yes, sweetie, he's been dating you for 2 years and you've never met his family... time to get a clue.)

Recently I've realized that MSN is focusing more of these articles towards the men-folk. Today's articles include:

Men: Control your rage before it kills you
NFL to add 17th game?
Lohan to Play Stripper in Next Film

Honestly, I'd rather read a men's article and have something to think about instead of reading another edition of, "How to Please Your Man." Lame. Lame. Lame.

Anyhoo, while sending an email today, my eye caught this little tidbit courtesy MSN:

Dating when you're a short guy

If I were a shorter guy, I would be seriously offended. The article implies that there is nothing wrong with shorter guys... only that women aren't as attracted to them. That's horrible. I mean, don't different people just have different preferences? Shouldn't we believe simply that there is someone out there for everyone? Short, tall, fat, skinny. Fine, shorter guys have a harder time getting a date. But, so do anti-social guys, or guys with a twitch, or guys who live at home... There are plenty of other reasons why people can't get a date. The reason someone can't get a date can not be based on height alone.

I am also a little offended because I've dated some shorter guys. I like them. Why not? Most of them are taller than me. :) I prefer some broad shoulders and an athletic build, but it's only because I'm pretty athletic myself and I wouldn't want to cause a guy physical harm. *ha* Anyhoo, I'd pick a shorter guy with a big personality over one of those tall, boring lanky dudes (Cornflakes) anyday.

Who is this Jason Kersten who writes for Maxim and Rolling Stone? Is he short? I actually looked up his image on Google and he's not bad ;)... I think he needs a female writing partner to tie up any loose ends and to make guys realize that different women want different things.

Dating when you’re a short guy
By Jason Kersten (and Suziemusi)

It’s hard out there for a shrimp (Because most women can't look past the trivial stuff..that's not your fault, shorty. I enjoy Jason's reference to "Hustle and Flow" however.) Chalk it up to cold Darwinism, cultural standards, or the simple feminine desire to have a man around who can reach the top shelf (Because she is somehow not capable of getting out a step stool herself, even in 2007) but just about every stature study in the last twenty years confirms what short guys already know: Women prefer taller men (Because taller men tend to have more self-confidence ans women are ridiculous!). But that doesn’t mean shorter men are doomed in the dating department (if they have a personality). In fact, lots of men who fall under America’s 5’9” male average date with great success—often with taller women. Their playbook (It's all a game, right?), honed by necessity, is all about evening the odds and picking up subtle signs of interest that their loftier brothers might ignore. Not convinced? Let these men’s struggles and solutions prove otherwise.

Challenge #1: Being short can wreak havoc with your confidence (which is a MAJOR turn-off to women)
While many women are happy to date a great guy regardless of his height, for some girls (especially the tall ones) it’s an instant deal breaker—and, given men are often responsible for making the first move (which is a bunch of crap) it can be tricky to know how to proceed. (You might want to think about dating a woman who ISN'T 5'9'' and seen in Playboy. That will greatly increase your odds of getting a date. Don't expect women to "lower" their standards if you can't "lower" yours.) There was a woman I was absolutely smitten with,” recalls Charles, 40, who’s a 5’7” surgeon living in New York City. “She was only a couple inches taller than me and friendly to me in group settings, so I figured I’d give it a shot. But after trying unsuccessfully to get a date with her, one of her friends finally told me the deal: I was too short for her.” (This could have been a nicer way of her telling you that she thinks your unattractive for other reasons.) Another experience many shorter guys suffer is when women do warm up to them... as a friend but this could be for another reason besides being short. “One time I was out with a short buddy of mine and a tall girl he was hitting on did the one thing that all short guys hate: She put his arm around him kind of like one would do with a little brother,” shudders Eric, a 40-year-old paramedic from Louisville, KY who’s 5’7”. Understandably, such experiences can leave many short guys feeling gun-shy. (Nice phallic reference, Jason.) “If I’m approaching a woman who’s taller than me, I’d probably be dissuaded much more easily,” continues Eric. “I’ll probably interpret any bit of coyness or lack of enthusiasm as ‘Well, she just doesn’t go for shorter guys’ and steer clear.” (So, you're a quitter. Nice.)

(Realization): Know that plenty of women don’t mind half as much as you think
While sussing out who’s open to dating in the lower height ranges isn’t easy, there are ways to get a handle on who’s game. Case in point: Most men don’t pay that much attention to a woman’s shoes, but shorter guys hone in on them, and for good reason. “If I see a tall woman who’s got on four-inch heels, that’s a subtle message that she’s into being tall and it’s part of her personality. I’ll generally avoid these types as a rule,” says Eric (Obviously he believes in first impressions, although they may not be correct. Heels make legs look long and lean - it's fashion more than anything. We dress mostly to impress other women, not to impress men.) “But when I see a tall woman who wears flats, it’s a clear sign she’s not caught up in being tall. (Perhaps she has a tall complex.) As a matter of fact, she’s trying to bring herself down a little bit (So she doesn't hurt YOUR ego?) So I approach.” And for women, the word is that you need to be more explicit and encouraging if you’re interested in a shorter guy. “The taller women that I’ve dated actually came more to me than I pursued them,” says Eric, who is currently dating a woman a couple inches taller than him. “The woman I’m dating right now came and gave me a kiss at a party. It was that easy.” (Well, she thinks your cute as a button.)

Challenge #2: In the online dating world, height can be listed as a mate must-have
On many online dating sites, members are asked to list their own height as well as the desired stature of the people they’d like to date. (Just lie about your stats a little - everyone else is doing it.) For shorter guys, this can present obvious problems—and while it’s tempting to fudge the facts a few inches in your profile, the game will be over once you meet face to face. (Chances are your impression of them will be diminished too, so no need to worry.) “If you walk into a date and you’ve said you’re two inches taller than you are, then you might as well be wearing a big sign that says ‘liar,’” points out Eric. So be honest, but also be willing to take a proactive role in scanning for and emailing women online since you may not make their minimum height requirement when they do the searching.

(Realization): Realize that most women will bend their rules for the right guy
While the situation may look bleak, shorter online daters shouldn’t despair and here’s why: What women list they want in a mate ideally can be light years from what they’re perfectly happy to accept in the right guy. (Likely, they'll find out that your not the right guy for them anyway.) Eric, for one, was at first surprised when his online profile got interest from taller women who were breaking the very height requirements they listed in their own online profile. (Obviously, Eric has a personality.) “They write that they’re looking for a taller guy, but then again, they’re contacting me,” he says, adding that at first he felt the need to explain to them that he might not live up to their lofty standards. “I used to tell them I’m a lot shorter than you’re looking for, but I don’t do it anymore because it’s pointless. They see it in your profile anyway.” Bill, a 35-year-old publishing executive from Rochester, NY, who’s 5’6”, says he’s had a good response online from women of all heights. (Then again, if asked, would he tell them he DIDN'T have a good response -- come on.)“I have taller girls emailing me a lot, even though I don’t meet the height they say they’re looking for,” he says, “They all tell me my profile made them laugh. I think the key is having something to capture their attention other than height. Humor’s the best.”

Challenge #3: Short guys aren’t always taken seriously
Even guys who do find a gal who’s fine and dandy with a height differential ("Even if" like it doesn't happen... come on, Jason!) know that being an odd couple can be hard—for instance, strangers may do double-takes and friends and family may make snide, behind-the-back comments from friends and family. (So, you will be forever odd and laughed at by your friends and family? That's not very nice.) “Generally speaking, if you’re a short guy and you’re dating a tall woman and you walk into a bar, people tend to laugh or whisper about you,” says Eric. “Or have you ever noticed how men think it’s OK to hit on a tall girl even if it’s obvious she’s dating the short dude standing right next to her?” (Tall dudes have their own set of issues to deal with.)

(Realization): Confidence can make any guy seem ten feet tall
One lesson short guys learn early on is that confidence, not height, is the ultimate aphrodisiac. “If you’re hitting on a taller woman, don’t even blink,” recommends Bill. “Just interact totally straight on, like there’s nothing weird. (Implying that there is something weird)Never let your actual stature affect your sense of metaphorical stature.” In fact, showing a taller girl your chutzpah works especially well when you’re short. “If a woman is taller than you, she knows that she’s taller than you, then she’ll see your approaching her as a sign that you’re very confident with who you are.’ That puts you in a very good light, in front of her and in front of others,” says Eric. So when you’re taking a woman out and get a double-take or see someone giggling in your direction, remember: Your date chose to go out with you because you have all kinds of great things going for you. So don’t let another person’s height hang-up put a dent in your confidence. And that brings up a valuable big-picture perspective: Height hang-ups are just that—another person’s issue, not yours. (So, why did you call them "coping strategies," Jason, and refer to them "odd" and "weird" and "shrimp".) So if you do get rebuffed because of your stature, consider how Charles looks at the situation: “If a girl doesn’t want to date me because I’m shorter, I just think ‘Too bad for her. She’s missing out on me.’” (I tell myself this ALL the time, too!)

Jason Kersten is a regular contributor to Maxim, Rolling Stone, and other magazines. To read the other side of the story, click here. (Suziemusi is a regular blogger who likes to comment on articles she reads and is not published or famous.)

You can't take it with you.

I was in the Dallas burbs over the weekend visiting my cousin. Honestly, it was VERY appealing for a lot of reasons: close to family, an international airport, favorable weather (I can deal with humidity), close to the city and entertainment, fantastic people, plenty of universities at which to work, and VERY nice cost of living. Problem = I can't go unless I can take my favorite parts of California with me... So, if anyone can find a way to package these things, please let me know:

Ethnic cuisine - We're not talking Olive Garden here, we're talking about family-owned, with Grandma's cooking from the old country. Even better when food is curried, eaten with hands or chopsticks, and/or totally unpronounceable.

Diversity - I need at least one Hispanic neighbor, one of Asian decent, and one African-American within 2 blocks of my $350,000 4-bedroom house.

Mountains - Not that I'm an avid skier, but they are pretty to look at and they give you something to hike up. They also make a lovely music and art venue.

Liberals - I'm not saying everyone needs to be liberal, but at least one person with an Obama '08 sticker on their Mini Cooper would be nice.

Expensive gas, people who don't look you in the eye, gang violence, drugs, and anything having to to with Hollywood or Los Angeles can stay in California.

Thanks for listening! Have a nice day!

I swear, I'll write later.

South Bay Ken

It seems many girlfriends who intentionally move out of the South Bay for "bigger and better things" (i.e. to live in the fabulous City or even with the intention of living happily single) meet a nice, SJ guy and find themselves back in the South Bay. What is this phenomenon? In addition to a few friends *Ahem, Saba* just last week I met two more ladies - one at my gym and one on Caltrain - who live in SF but have an SJ beau. We obviously have some quality males down here! I feel the South Bay has been overlooked and underrepresented!

Moreover, a friend of mine recently alerted me to the East Bay Barbie.














"Danville Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

It seems we need to represent the South Bay here! Come on guys and gals, take your best shot a creating a South Bay Ken or South Bay Barbie.

For example -

"Silicon Valley Ken"

A little socially awkward, but the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. Slightly overweight but has a high-end gym membership, usually hyped up on Coca Cola, wears polo shirts with a high-tech logo. Comes equipped with state-of-the-art Blackberry, a bunch of miscellaneous computer parts and a Porche Carrera, although he lives with his mother.

Please feel free to edit. Any other ideas?

San Jose Ken:

Palo Alto Ken:

Sunnyvale Ken:

Mountain View Ken:

Almaden Valley Ken:

Campbell Ken:

Saratoga Ken:

Los Gatos Ken:

Gilroy Ken:

Morgan Hill Ken:

I couldn't help it

"No, really baby. It's okay - I'll get it... you just get the car door."

The Human Race

Dear Friends (and other people I like),

On May 12, 2007 I will be participating in the 14th Annual Human Race 10K to support Choral Project and other Not-for-profit organizations in the greater Silicon Valley area. Assisting not-for-profit organizations is a service to all human beings. The work done by these organizations are often done selflessly, to support a better society and a better life for all citizens. Furthermore these organizations depend much on volunteers to keep their mission.

The Choral Project is a vital music organization in the South Bay in which I am directly involved. Our mission is to heal our world through music and words. The benefits to keeping music vital in society are immeasurable.

This summer Choral Project will compete in the First Annual International Choral Competition in California in San Luis Obispo, CA. During this week of friendly competition, we will have the opportunity to combine forces with choirs of Spain, Poland, Uganda and the Philippines to share a remarkable experience with each other and our audiences.

My goal for the Human Race is to raise $500.00 and to run at an 8-mile pace. (Um, I have a lot of training to do.) I would appreciate your donation to Choral Project and other Silicon Valley non-profits in any amount your budget allows. Please let me know if you are interested in making a donation, and I'll give you the address to send a check.

Your donation is tax-deductible! If I make my donation goal*, I will run over the finish line like Phoebe Buffay from “Friends” and send you the link to the picture. (I know everyone needs a little extra incentive.)

* (Disclaimer: If I make my pace goal, I will be physically unable to run over the finish line like Phoebe Buffay. But, I’m not quite up to 8-minute miles, so your odds are really good!)

Human Race Website:
http://www.vcsv.us/humanrace

Choral Project Website:
http://www.choralproject.org

Benefits of Music Listening:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=music+listening+benefits

Phoebe running style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_0Ta_DIWuU

Thanks all!

Cereal Dating: Part Deux

Ok, kids, here's the deal. I just checked my statistics and blog viewing went to an all-time high last October and November when I began my special on "Cereal Dating." Unfortunately, I'm a bit worn out to take on cereal dating again, so I need your help.

CALL FOR CEREALS

I'm looking for good stories about dating to put on my blog. Names of persons involved will remain confidential. This is a chance for you to use any fake name you please (Betty? Dirk?). For the "cereals" - please be original. They can have fruit and yogurt, but they MUST be cereal... don't try comparing your date to bacon or eggs.. this defeats the purpose. If you can't think of an appropriate cereal name, just tell the story and a cereal name will be chosen for you.

If I get enough responses, I'll post a SATURDAY MORNING BREAKFAST SPECIAL or something...

Call is open to all single ladies OR men with good cereal analogies. Pass along to your friends.

Thank you.

MySpace Top 8 Signals Divorce?

I've received flack from some of my 30-something friends who think MySpace is a networking site for those 20-somethings who believe people give a crap about their boring entry level jobs or frat party lifestyles. I disagree. My profile is set to private and I only accept people I actually know to be my "Friends." Secondly, I think it's fun to have a place to be completely narcissistic with 150 of your "Friends." Everyone wants to be famous, after all - even if it's just within a small circle. Lastly, because I've lived in 3 different states and attended 6 different schools, it's a good way to stay up-to-date with those you would have otherwise lost touch.

I will usually go into one of my friends profiles when I see they have posted a new picture. This signals that there has been some activity -- perhaps they added another friend with whom I'm also acquainted, maybe there are pictures of their children, their trip to New York, or....

Perhaps they are getting a divorce.

My first love is among my MySpace friends. We dated for over a year in high school, broke up for about two years, then dated again for about 4 months in college. He was the perfect first boyfriend, but it was clear being "high school sweethearts" was not in the cards. I went to college, he tried college but dropped out. I moved to California, he went into the Navy. He is living 30 minutes from where we went to high school, I'm never going to live there again.

I was VERY excited to find Q on MySpace 6 months ago; we hadn't spoken in 7 years. Seeing his face was a flush of excitement and brought back some great memories of times we shared. Q's profile picture was of he and his wife looking very happy at a Kansas City Chiefs game. He'd also posted pictures of his son, who's name is Q Jr. (Q was always very proud of his name. Even in high school he told me he wanted to name a son after himself.) Of course, number one in his Top 8 is his wife. So, I checked her out too. She seemed pretty cool too, almost like someone I'd like to hang out with. I was glad to see them happy.

Today I log in and see that Q's picture has changed, so I take a gander. Was there anything NEW? Well, there were NO more pictures of he and his wife. His wife seems no longer to be in his Top 8.

Every day I hear MySpace drama from college students. "OMG! He changed his status to 'In a Relationship', I'm so heartbroken." OR "OMG! The guy I'm dating just changed his 'orientation' to 'NOT SURE.' What does that mean?" (Yes, that actually happened.)

Unfortunately these simple profile changes become much more serious in your late 20's and beyond. What was once a little drama in your 20's now involves other people- including children. I think it's important when using MySpace, a dating website, or even a BLOG to remember that you are exposing yourself... you might even be exposing something that is "None of their business." If you're going to put your life out there - be prepared to expose yourself completely.

Again, not everything is as it seems. (God knows, I've recently been misunderstood by being online.) I hope this is true for Q and his wife, and especially Q Jr. I'm thinking positive thoughts for them.

Why don't we listen?

The Washington Post recently had an article entitled "Pearls Before Breakfast" in which Joshua Bell, one of the worlds greatest living violin players was asked to play in a D.C. train station during rush hour. It's a long article - but it's truly fascinating.

The experiment suggested one large err in human judgement - most people don't realize a good thing unless it hits them in the face, (even then, it is often unappreciated). I am also guilty. We are in such a narcissistic rush to be individuals that we forget to enjoy the wonderful things that fall into our laps on a daily basis. When it comes to aesthetics, most human beings have similar tastes. There is a general consensus about beauty in Western culture, especially among those with a similar ethnic and educational background. The individuals passing Joshua Bell in the train station were mostly educated government officials going to work... people who would pay to go to a symphony or opera.

Why didn't they stop?

Also interesting is the idea of context in human relationships. Human beings are often only able to deal with the world outside of ourselves in the context of our own minds. Joshua Bell would have been more appreciated had he been playing in his usual context - on a stage for a large symphony with patrons paying $100 to see him. But, his playing in a train station went almost unnoticed. Furthermore, many thought it a distraction.

What's wrong with us? How many beautiful experiences are we missing out on?

A visitor in our midst

I am no longer dating Special K, and for what reason? Well, it seems he thinks I was dating other people, which is completely not true. I've decided there is nothing I can do. Either one of two things are going on here 1.) He is paranoid and sabotaging the relationship or 2.) He just wants out of the relationship, and has decided to play the victim.

So, how could this have been avoided?

Well, first of all, he could have included me in his activities. By inclusion, one feels they are getting the whole story and are not only being asked to hang out when it is convenient for the other person. Secondly, there were plenty of opportunities in which I tried to include Special K in my activities, and he usually seemed uninterested. By talking to any one of my friends he would have easily found out that I'm not dating anyone else -- he would have also seen me in my own comfortable context.

Unfortunately none of these things happened, so I believe, he took the underground railroad to Victimsville and decided to make ME look like the bad guy when, in fact, he just simply doesn't want to date anymore.

There are plenty of reasons why maybe we shouldn't date - distance probably being the largest factor. But, had he said, "Hey, it's too far. This isn't working out." Even if he would have said, "Hey, I want to date other people." That is also acceptable.

How can I clear my name and prove that I'm not a liar? Well, to expose myself completely by giving Special K the link to my blog, of course! I have nothing to hide. That's right -- go into the November archives, or oh, January is quite interesting... in fact, here are some helpful links:

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2006/12/cereal-dating-status-month-1_13.html

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2007/01/back-on-fabulous-campaign-horse.html

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2007/02/so-i-just-returned-from-motucky.html

http://suziemusi.blogspot.com/2007/03/i-like-you-i-really-do.html

I'm nothing if not bold.

"Speak softly and carry a big gun...

Things have gotten seriously out of hand since Roosevelt spoke the original West African proverb, "Speak softly and carry a big stick, and you will go far."

In fact, those we SHOULD fear are those who speak very softly, and carry a big gun... and they are not furthering anything, only taking innocent lives.

Since hearing of the massacre at Virginia Tech, I've had the voice of my ex-German going through my head. "In Germany, we can't have guns." "In Germany, we take people out of society who are a threat to it."

What are we doing wrong? Please don't tell me Michael Moore is right. Please don't tell me my friend in Las Vegas who feels he needs to carry a gun to protect himself and his family is correct in doing so! I'm not saying you can't have a gun, I'm just saying that I'd hope to live in a society where carrying one is unnecessary. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case.

Fear of Commitment & The 3-year Plan

Have I mentioned previously how much I hate indecisiveness? Oh, I think I have. (It's under Weird Wednesday.)

I just read an article about how fear of commitment renders you powerless. You are better off to make a wrong decision than not to make one at all. Per the article, to make a commitment is to make a decision -- it could be the decision to say "YES" as a decision to say "NO." Those who do not make commitments often allow others to make them FOR them, leading to dissatisfaction. To make a commitment is to have power over yourself and your life.

I HAVE THE POWWEEER!!!!

I'm mostly a commitment person. I have a pretty easy time committing to things. I'll admit sometimes they are not easy decisions, and sometimes they are bad decisions. By giving myself the power to choose, I have the power to "un-choose" as I please. The main objective for me is -- Pick one! Please!

Unfortunately I seem to have relationships with a lot of commitment-wary individuals (those who, obviously, do NOT have the POWWEEER!), both in my personal life and at work. Not a day goes by that I'm not waiting for someone to make a decision so I can finish a project at work. Often I make the decision to move forward on the project, and am then scrutinized because someone didn't like the way I finished it.

In the workplace, administrators constantly talk about the 3-year plan, the 5-year plan, long term plans, capital projects plan, performance review plan. I used to think all of this planning was unnecessary, until I started to realize that by "planning," you are also making "commitments" to move forward, therefore giving you the POWWEERR!

So, I put together a 3-year personal plan. My plan includes:

- Taking out a student loan (Finalizing next week)

- Expediting MA courses (Courses have been mapped out.)

- Finishing said MA degree in Spring 2008

- Advancing in my career (Specifics have been mapped out.)

- Possible work/life relocation (5-year plan will include buying property.)

- Paying off all debt by 2010 (Fingers crossed.)

I told my best friend from High School, Alison, about the 3-year plan -- she said hers would include running a marathon and a baby. What's your 3-year plan?

Lull

I haven't had anything to write about. It's SPRING! You'd think I'd have SOMETHING good to say, but alas, besides allergies nothing is coming to me. The work place is going through some massive changes this week, but I'm not going to blog out of fear of Big Brother.

I was in Las Vegas over the weekend visiting friends who are new parents. We didn't go to the Strip, we didn't go clubbing, we didn't gamble, we didn't stay out late... I'm tired of Vegas anyway. I've decided not to give the State of Nevada any money for the next couple of years. My friends need to come out an visit me in the Bay Area.

Classes start on Tuesday. I'm taking "Finance in Higher Education". Should be illuminating. Really, it should. I think it will be interesting.

I'm going to Dallas in May to visit my cousin. I've never been to Texas, and I'll admit that the thought of a weekend in the Lone Star State is kind of exciting-- very excited to go to Billy Bob's Texas! That's right. I'm going to get my country on.

Anyone got a topic starter?

If you mean it - WEAR it!

Disclaimer: Above shirt has very little to do with original intent of post, but it was just too good to pass up.

Imagine this:

You are in a long distance relationship with someone who lives in a MUCH cooler city than you. There are things to do in this other town: movies, ethnic cuisine, festivals, music etc. But, you travel a lot for work and it is sometimes easier for your boy/girl/um-friend to visit your town-- to chill out, watch a movie and cook dinner at home. This sweet and wonderful person likes you a lot, and will drive to your kind of sad, small, out-of-the-way strip mall land because he/she enjoys spending time with you.

Perhaps you worry that your boy/girl/um-friend will judge you for living in Smallville and isn't accepting of your lifestyle. Then, they show up at your house wearing this:








Now, wouldn't that be the sweetest gesture ever? Come on?

Better yet (this is my favorite) -

Today's obsession provided by: http://www.cafepress.com/

Daily Affirmation

"I've always wished for more single girlfriends, so I made some. Now, they want to have girls nights out all the time - I don't have time to date! Could this ruin my love life? Be careful what you wish for."

-- Jaqueline Handy ;)

Narcissism

My wonderful husband (roommate) brought this home for me last night. He knows exactly what interests me. Isn't he the greatest thing a girl could ask for?

Study finds college students more narcissistic...

My Dating Culture

Everyone has standards and those standards are often defined by culture. We multi-cultural Californians are exposed to different cultures all the time, and we take pride in knowing the difference between Vietnamese and Chinese last names, hearing the difference between the Spanish of Spain and Mexican Spanish and having a broad range of multi-cultural friends. People forget that we Caucasians also have a culture. Furthermore, being from the Midwest, I have a Midwestern culture that even many Caucasian Californians forget about.

It seems when I set dating standards, that I find to be a reflection of my culture, people say, "Oh well, you might be missing out on a great guy!" But, don't you see? It's probably not a great guy for ME.

EXHIBIT A: The guy who lives with his parents.

I'm from the Midwest. When you're from the Midwest, you move out of the house when you are 18 - no matter what - you either go to college, get married, or get a full-time job in which you can afford to live at least a couple of blocks from your parents. I don't want my kids living in my house for more than 18 years under normal circumstances. I realize there may be a summer or a year here or there when every young person needs a break. But, in general they need to pack up, move out, go away -- I'll even help to pay for it, or assist in finding a nice student loan.

This is my culture. In other cultures it is perfectly acceptable to live at home until you are 35, and I understand that. I won't pick on your culture, if you don't pick on mine.

EXHIBIT B: The guy with a Ferrari/Porsche.

Cars don't impress me to begin with. But, if you are going to have a sports car, then I need a muscle car - that's right, something with a loud muffler or at least something built before 1970. What's even better is when you get a little grease under your fingernails, put a little work into it. Sure, anyone can drive fast -- BIG DEAL.

My high school boyfriends drove Mustangs and Cameros and could change their own oil. It's just what I'm used to.

EXHIBIT C: The guy who almost made it through college.

This one makes me feel insensitive, but I'm putting it out there anyway. I realize that not everyone has the tools to go to college, not everyone wants to go to college and I also don't think that college is for everyone. But, I expect that most of my life will be spent at a college or university - it's my career - I will spend 40+ hours a week there everyday for the rest of my life. I feel the same about college as most people do about their high school experiences.

My father had a PhD in Education, I'm working on an M.A. in Education. It's a big part of my life.

EXHIBIT D: The guy with no music.

Believe it or not. These people exist. They only have CDs that people have bought for them, they don't own an I Pod, and they refer to the radio as "background music." To have no music in your life is to have no soul. I met one of these people in Community College. He was a baseball player - go figure.

I grew up dancing to Olivia Newton-John and Barry Manilow in my basement, and on roller skates. I grew up singing in choirs, and singing hymns at church. At LEAST like Kelly Clarkson, or something.

EXHIBIT E: The late guy.

I've always been intrigued by the guy who is perpetually late, but it just never seems to work out. A college boyfriend could never be on time. There I was - ready to go, possibly nervous, wanting to get out the door. He didn't even call to say that he would be late.

I can't be late, even if I try. It's inherent in my nature. If you are late, it automatically tells me that you don't care.

EXHIBIT F: The vegetarian guy.

I agree with vegetarians. Animals are good. It may even be healthier NOT to eat animals, but as long as BBQ and cold cuts exist, I'll keep eating them. I'm sorry. In Iowa there is a T-shirt that reads: P.E.T.A. - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.

I don't know how to eat, if I don't eat meat. You don't want me to starve, do you?

What I got for $30,000

I've been thinking a lot lately about the college experience, since I've attended just about every type of institution of higher education that exists today: a community college, a state university, a German music conservatory, and finally, now a Master's Degree at a private university.

I've realized lately that "education" is not taking classes, books, grades and professors, it's the entire thing - the campus experience, making connections, understanding the world around you, hence, understanding yourself better AND having enough life skills to be able to make it out there in the crazy world.

In lieu of recent undergraduate activities at Privileged Private University, I realized my undergraduate dollar went pretty far, although some would consider my education at the CC, State U and year abroad to be "below par" by PPU standards. The activities that take place frequently at PPU were never issues I thought about as an undergraduate student. Unlike PPU a campus culture of diversity and acceptance simply exists at my alma mater State University and my "education" there carried over into the person I am today. I couldn't have had the multi-cultural experience as an undergrad at PPU because, let's face it, many of those who make up campus diversity do not have $40,000 per year to shell out for education.

So, I honor my undergraduate $30,000 (TOTAL - 6 YEARS) education - my community college, my state university and my year abroad. It was the best $30,000 my parents and I ever spent.

Is there a dream doctor in the house?

Does anyone else have dreams about being pregnant on a regular basis? This dream seems to come along every couple of months or so, and I'm still trying to figure out what it all means.

THE DREAM
I'm pregnant. How did I get pregnant? Who's baby is it? I don't have a boyfriend. It worries me at first and I'm scared to tell friends and family, but when I tell them, they are fine with it. They even congratulate me! So, I'm going to be a single mom - I can hack it, I have a decent job. Baby and me will be just fine.

I feel pregnant. My belly is growing and I can feel baby swimming around in there. I start to worry, "OMG! I have to give birth! CRAP! How much running will it take to get this belly to go away!"

*A bunch of weird happenings totally unrelated to my being pregnant. A subplot, if you will*

Suddenly I'm not pregnant anymore and I have a dog. I don't remember giving birth to the dog, so I assume I was never pregnant to begin with. He is a cute dog, so I work my schedule around him, feed him, take him for walks in the park... I'm worried about potty training him, but I love him. I'm a little confused to why I don't have a baby, but am very happy with my dog.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
The strangest part of this dream is that I NEVER give birth. Also, it is not always a dog that I end up with. It has been a cat, and a couple of times it was a plant! Yes, I realized halfway through the dream (after all of the weird subplot stuff) that my "baby" is coming out of the ground! Then, a fern is born. I am also happy with the fern.

I looked up the meanings of dreams. Dreaming of pregnancy is supposed to signify psychological or spiritual growth, and dreaming about animals is supposed to signify some kind of wrong-doing, or feeling guilt.

I'm feeling guilty about my spiritual growth? Great. Thanks, dream, for letting me know. I thought I was just wanting a puppy, or perhaps a plant. I didn't know I was having deep and intense guilt while sleeping.

Arg. Helga, I need you here.

Thought for the day

"I'm always happy being alone, until someone comes along and screws it up."

A Valentine's Day Tribute

As a 14-year-old high school student in Mrs. Ohm's English class, I wrote the following poem in my journal:

I've never had a Valentine,

Or a box of chocolate hearts.

I've only had a photograph

At which to throw darts.

Charming, isn't it? I was quite the young poet - so many pent up artistic emotions...

Anyhoo. I've always despised Valentine's Day. As a kid, it was probably because I was odd and none of the boys liked me. As an adult, it is the same. Just kidding. Seriously, though, I just don't think that love is something to be celebrated on just one day. Furthermore, I don't like buying meaningless gifts, or receiving balloons. (Balloons are bad for the environment, don't you know?)
Last year was a bittersweet Valentine's Day for me. My cousin, Mike, who'd spent his life with cystic fibrosis, had been in the hospital for two weeks and was not doing well. He'd had a lung transplant in 2004, going from 14% lung capacity before the operation, to almost full capacity. Unfortunately, cystic fibrosis would inevitably take over the new lungs. We didn't know it would be this quickly. I talked to my mom every day -- one day Mike's lungs were failing, the next day they were filling with fluid, then his heart started to fail, his liver, his kidneys...



Waiting to fly to Tulsa for a funeral was unexpected, especially since I'd seen Mike in good health just a few months before. He came to visit me in California around my birthday, and I tried to show him the sights - we went to an Oakland A's Game, he came to my 26th birthday BBQ, and we went to San Francisco to take in the sites. Our walk up to Coit Tower from North Beach was memorable. Even though he was out of breath and had to stop a number of times on the way, he made it all the way up. Triumphant, he took a picture of the view from Coit with his camera phone and sent it to his then-girlfriend.

At the end of the day, I'd realized that Valentine's Day had almost completely passed me by and I hadn't thought about myself or my personal love misfortunes much at all. As I drove, I saw the parking lot packed at a local jewelry store, and saw a guy with a back seat FULL of Mylar balloons declaring, "I Love You" or "Bee My Valentine." I thought about the time I got to spend with Mike, and how no balloons, chocolates or diamonds could compare to spending time with someone truly special.

Mike passed away on February 16. I flew to Tulsa to say goodbye and spend time with family. After his funeral, his friends hosted a house party in honor of him. I met his summer-then-girlfriend who showed me the picture he'd sent her from Coit Tower, and I realized how lucky I was to have spent that time with him before we all lost him.

I wish I had more pictures from the time we spent that summer, but I didn't have a camera. The pictures below are courtesy of my cousin, Mike's sister, Jolene.

Mike and Jolene.

Cousin Chris (who also has CF), Jolene and cousin-in-law Trevor at a local Run for CF event. (Wearing pins with Mike's picture.)

Finding Balance in Life and Art

This is one of those "I love my life" days, or at least moments. (The day isn't over yet. Right?) ;)

While interviewing a group of students and Professor for a research paper, I realized the small impact one person could make on a group of people. It wasn't myself making an impact on students, or the Professor making an impact on me, but the whole circle of relationships and networking. A group of people, talking, discussing and contributing in their own little ways. "What does it all mean?" or "I know what this means to ME, but what does it mean to YOU." It's fascinating to see issues from all sides, and also to feel in sync with what is going on around you, and your overall purpose. It's enlightening.

Anyway, enlightened me has narrowed her M.A. thesis from 1,00,000,001.1 ideas down to 2 or 3 ideas. Yay!

I met the new Dean of my graduate program at a social, and after spewing my thesis at him, and basically having diarrhea of the mouth, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm strange. But, no matter - at least I'm passionate.

So, I just returned from Motucky.

For those of you who've never heard it called "Motucky" before (God knows I hadn't), it's Modesto.

It had been quite a while since I've left the Bay Area on anything but a plane, so the 1 1/2 hour drive did me some good. I turned the music up, opened the moon roof, and put my foot on the gas. I just had my car washed, so I was big pimpin' it.

There were some pretty ok towns along the way, and, on a partially sunny Sunday afternoon, it was an enjoyable drive through Fremont, Pleasanton, Dublin, Livermore, Tracy... Before leaving, I Googled directions, and was truly frightened about the number of highways there were between 880 and 99. (I mean, OMG! more than ONE road to get to the next city! What kind of a place is this?) Then, I realized that 580, 5, and 120 are basically the same road. I thought fondly of SaBa and Helga as I passed through "Lard" and "Exit." It brought a smile to my face.

I really have nothing bad to say about Modesto except - It's far. The joyride of Sunday afternoon was completely abolished this morning as I arrived at work 2 1/2 hours after leaving Modesto; but spending Super Bowl Sunday with Special K (even though our team lost) and waking up to zero freeway noise was lovely. I'll admit it.

Back to (Square) Club One

I hate having to start over. It's really frustrating...

Unfortunately I am back to square one with my gym search. I have received the inside scoop that the Ballys I've been patronizing will be closing it's doors in a few months.

I went to CG last night, which, if you haven't figured it out yet, is Club One. I mean, I'm still paying $80 a month, so I might as well get my money's worth.

B is for Ballys

Location
There are two convenient locations near my apartment, although neither location is directly between work and home. However, the location I've been going to is only about 1 mile south of me, on the same street. There is convenient shopping in the area as well. The Trader Joe's is MUCH less impacted than the one in my area.

I was happily received by Jeff, trainer at the gym. He toured me around the gym, listened to my fitness goals, told me which classes to try. I understood after the tour that the weights are arranged by target areas (legs, arms, core, etc.). Jeff took my BMI and offered me a free training session. Um, THIS was the kind of tour I had in mind... are you listening, Golds? Jeff is a trainer, not even a membership representative, so giving me a tour isn't part of his job. (Duh, I know he was trying to sell me on the training session -- and he succeeded.)

Cardio
There are two cardio areas at Ballys. The upstairs area doubles as a TV viewing room. All of the equipment faces the same direction (maybe this is the way it's done?). The downstairs cardio area is the "newer" machines. I prefer this area, although I don't like watching myself run in a mirror. Maybe exercise is all about facing yourself... all sweaty and red. At least the fans are not so loud that I can't hear music. I was unfortunately also stuck next to dreaded Mobile-phone-walker-woman. CG has a strict "No Cell Phone" policy.

Weights
Weights and other equipment (core balls, etc.) are arranged in rooms by target area. I already mentioned that.

Stretching area
This place is huge, so there are plenty of stretching areas. The main stretching area is larger than CG.

Classes
Ballys has 3 large studios. One is for aerobics/core/spinning, another for Yoga and another with Pilates equipment. A friend goes to another Ballys regularly for spinning and enjoys it very much. This Ballys also has racquetball, which kind of gives the place a different, competitive vibe.

Locker Room
The locker room, again, is older but it has a steam room, sauna, showers and a WHIRLPOOL. Hell yeah! It also has all of the extra stuff to get ready in the morning (shampoo, gel, lotion, etc), but no towel service, of course.

Environment
It's an old building, and older equipment, but it has everything that I use, and it seems like they are working on upgrading the place... putting in carpet, painting. The entire gym used to be a racquetball club, so you can tell they are redoing some of the rooms.

With such a variety of activities, it seems to attract a variety of people as well. The old guys and corporate types do the racquetball thing, the hipsters do Pilates. There is also a lap pool outside. I would much rather hang with somewhat normal people than the sad steroid induced people at another gym. Are steroids airborne?


OVERALL REVIEW
Location = B+
Tour = A (Thanks, Jeff)
Weights = B- (Older equipment)
Cardio equipment = C
Stretching/core area = A
Classes = N/A (Would have to try it to believe it.)
Locker Room = B
Noise level = B
Cleanliness = C (Building is a little old, but I saw housekeeping!)
People watching (for fun)= C
People watching (for fitness) = C
Amenities /Extras = B

Gold's Gym D+

Don't be such a girly-man loser!

"It's not all about lifting weights there anymore. They have a lot of cardio equipment."

"Everyone attaches a stigma to Gold's from the 80's that it's just a bunch of guys taking steroids and lifting weights."

"What else do you need?: a rubber floor, some weights, and some cardio equipment. It has all of that."

These are all comments I've received from Gold Gym members who think that my gym standards are too high. I took all of this into consideration as I embarked on new gym territory last night after work.

(CG = Current Gym)

Location
I didn't like the drive TO Gold's Gym from work, but was amazed by the zippy ride home.

CG is a nice distance between my residence and work. The parking is horrible during Christmas and summer because of local shopping.

The facility "tour"
From the outside, the look in is very industrial - very fitting for a gym. The reception area was nice and I was greeted kindly by one of the reception staff. Let's call her Emily. I told Emily about how much I liked my CG, but was willing to try out something else because $80 a month for free towels seems a bit expensive. I asked her if I could get a tour of the gym, thinking this was something complimentary that prospective members would receive: showing me around, telling me about the benefits of the gym, where specific equipment is located... Apparently not. Emily took me to the edge of the reception area and said, "The cardio and locker rooms are upstairs, and the weights are on the first floor." Hmmm, not the tour I had in mind, but ok. Maybe she is new.

Hans and Franz are going to pump *clap* you up.
The weight area alone is the entire size of my current gym. Special K, a Gold's Gym member, told me that Gold's has special weights that conform to your movement, giving you the best possible workout for each muscle group. That's impressive, I thought. Unfortunately, the weight room was large and it confused me. If I would have had a tour, perhaps they could have told me if the weights were arranged by target body area... (?) They obviously were not arranged by type. There were circuit weights mixed in with free weights mixed in with pulley weights. I didn't even want to search for the "special" weights my buddy Special K was talking about.

CG has circuit weights arranged on one side of the gym, pulley weights generally in the middle section of the weight room and *gasp* free weights in their own special section. Wow! The area is small, but well arranged. You do not need to go more than 3 feet to find the next appropriate machine or weight.

I'm more of a cardio girl. So, let's go UPSTAIRS!

Bikes, treadmills, elliptical trainers, Stair climbers, oh my!
...and all of them set up to face the same direction, which looks at about 10 overhead TVs and windows facing the expressway (except for the windows that are MIRRORED, so you can stare at yourself and those behind you while you work up a sweat). The windows, by the way... have they been cleaned in the last year? Ugh. I don't think so.

I'm more of a people watcher while I do cardio, and am not all about the TVs. CG has a TV at every cardio station. I think TV is distracting; it takes away from what you are supposed to be doing = exercising. But, I can appreciate those who need a TV to sweep the time away. The TVs are also adjustable, so you can move them out of the way and watch the other patrons and trainers. I've learned a lot about weight lifting, core exercise, and just people in general while doing cardio. What can I say? I'm a multi-tasker, extraordinaire!

Stretching my tolerance
There was no stretching area.

CG stretching area is one of the most popular areas of the gym.

It's a group thing
The group fitness classes looked fine. Gold's does Yoga, Gold's does a core training class. They do not have pilates, but I've never taken pilates so I can't complain. Emily tried to sell me on all of the fabulous aerobics classes, but I don't do aerobics. I don't like to clap when I exercise. The possibility that Gold's has fabulous group fitness is not enough to sell me on a membership.

CG has a LOT more group fitness classes, some of which cost extra (which I think is a rip-off). But, I've enjoyed a Wednesday morning Yoga class and they constantly run "special" classes that you can try out. Again, group fitness is not the main focus of my exercise routine, but it is nice to have options.

WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.
The noise level of Gold's is uncomfortable and out of control. There is a constant loud whizzing noise of fans. I understand they are trying to keep it cool and ventilated in there, but geez... look into some noiseless airconditioning units. Also, because the cardio equipment is older, it is by no mean noiseless. It's time they upgraded enough to be able to play music in the background.

I did complain to my CG staff last Christmas for playing annoying holiday music in the locker room, but they typically play some good background tunes - at least music that can be blocked out.

Going to the ladies.... locker room
The ladies locker room was the cleanest part of Gold's Gym. It was a bunch of lockers, some decent looking shower stalls, bathroom stalls, and a place to apply make-up/do hair if I were to go in the morning before work.

CG's locker room is fabulous. They have a towel service, build-around shower stalls without curtains, lockers equipped with locks, hairspray, deodorant, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, bamboo floor mats, floral arrangements... clearly much more that what is needed. Everyone knows the names of the housekeeping staff because they are constantly making sure everything is spic-n-span in the locker rooms. Furthermore, I know that Maria, everyone's favorite member of the housekeeping staff, is on maternity leave and is having a boy. It's like a family. Clearly more than what is needed. :)

Personal trainers
I only saw one trainer working with a client at Gold's Gym.

CG has at least 3 trainers on duty at any time, and they all wear bright red. If you have a question, you can ask them. Because I'm quite the people-watcher, I often watch the trainers work with clients and pick up tips from them. I've never used a personal trainer myself.


Are these my peeps?
If you are in denial that muscle-heads don't hang out at Gold's anymore, you are sadly mistaken. When a large majority of the gym is weight machines, you are bound to get those who main focus of exercise is weight training. Also, don't think for a second that this doesn't apply to women. I saw some pretty tough looking chicks in there too. Upon telling Special K my experience at Gold's, he referred to most of the muscular-types as "posers." Maybe, but I still wouldn't want to get into a brawl with any of them. (Luckily, I'm sure I could out-run them.)

I also got the overwhelming feeling that I was being stared at. Perhaps it was because I didn't know what I was doing, or where anything was, and people sensed that I was new. It could have also been that the guys behind me while I was on the treadmill (I saw them in the mirror) were looking at the TVs over my head. Perhaps I'm just crazy. At least when you catch eyes with some (creepy) person at my CG, they will come over and talk to you. When someone watches you in silence = scary.

I admittedly given a lot of flack to my CG-peeps. The OLD PIBTY in the locker room, the guy who shouts out Bible verses while he pumps iron, the muscle-kissing guys who flex in the mirror, the women with fake breasts and the old men who love them... But, let's face it - strange people are everywhere, and who's to say that someone doesn't think I am a freak too.

OVERALL REVIEW
Location = B+
Tour = F
Weights = B- (Assuming I could figure out where everything is.)
Cardio equipment = D-
Stretching/core area = F
Classes = N/A (Would have to go back.)
Locker Room = C

Noise level = F
Cleanliness = D (It would have been an F, but the women's locker room was fine)
People watching (for fun)= B
People watching (for fitness) = F
Amenities /Extras = C

Today's obsession

Rhymes with Orange

The Two Faces of Coffee

My co-workers are confused by my lack of personal or inanimate objects in my work area. I'm a minimalist, what can I say? So, I'm thinking of buying and framing a print of a comic strip that's been hanging in my cube since May of 2005. It's from a strip called Rhymes with Orange.

Doesn't the character look just the tiniest bit like someone we know? Hmmmm....?

I put the strip up at a time when we had a coffee maker in the office. Because I was the person closest to the coffee maker, I was somehow expected to make coffee. (Please refer to post NOT a Secretary.) Unfortunately, I would also partake of the coffee as it was so readily available and would end up feeling like a zittered zombie by the end of the day. I was regrettably horrible at cleaning the coffee maker (again, because I didn't feel like it was my responsibility) and eventually it went too long without being washed. The office collectively decided that the coffee maker was disgusting, and it was no longer welcome in the office. Since removal of the coffee maker, I drink considerably less coffee. Once in awhile someone will come in and ask where the coffee maker went and I will give them a sigh and say something like, "What coffee maker?" or "It ran away," before pointing them in the direction of the cafe across the street.

Thanks for listening. I'm going on a coffee break now.

Alien TV Sightings

It's true. The roommate broke down after Christmas and bought a pair of rabbit ears so we can watch a few channels. I have been both mesmerized and completely perplexed by TV in the last month.

#1 Raj Mathai, NBC 11 News
Isn't he a beautiful man? Ethinic AND can talk about sports. Wow. Speaking of good-looking Sportscasters... (see #2)

#2 Extra
This show is sad. I can't believe people watch this. What's worse is that it's followed by Access Hollywood, which is the SAME show. Why Jon Kelley, did you go from being a one of America's best sportscasters to being on Extra? Oh, lured by the money, were you? You were so much cuter talking about the Chicago Bears than you are talking about Lindsay Lohan. I'm sorry you had to come to this.

#3 The President's Update on Iraq
Did charisma leave the building? What is he squinting at? Oh yeah, he's reading.

#4 Doggy steps
They should include a disclaimer that reads:

WARNING SINGLE PERSON! Did you know that your bed is one of the dirtiest places in your house? Do you know how many perfectly wonderful mates have allergies? I don't care how cute and cuddly your dog is! He's a dog -- he can sleep on the floor. You can even buy him his own custom bed! If you do like sleeping with your pet, your chances of having another human being sleep in your bed GREATLY decrease. Don't trade in human companionship for Fluffy or Fido.

Doggy steps are perfect couples who mutually love their canine, older people who live alone with their canine, or people who want to be single forever.

#5 Deal or no Deal
Is that IT? They just open cases? Are there any other games, or is that it? Geez, at least the original show had different games and people in costumes. I'm greatly disappointed.

#6 Music concerts on PBS
I'm suddenly a fan of James Blunt. He wrote other songs besides "You're Beautiful" and they are GOOD! Yay! (He also has nice lips!) I'm also very appreciative of the Stix concert with the Cincinatti's Contemporary Youth Orchestra. Old guys with mullets, a spinning keyboard, and kids rocking out on violins?! Heck yeah!

#7 Housewives of the OC
I watched about 15 minutes and was bored out of my mind. I refuse to get upset; really it only makes me feel smarter. (he he more smart)

Back on the Fabulous Campaign horse

Howdy Partners! YEE HAW!

For the first morning in about a month, I made it back to the gym this morning. MY gym -- the one that I love despite OLD PIBTY and old men hitting on me. I haven't brought myself to terminate membership after they decided to raise my monthly fees by $31. Some gym-shopping is in order before I decide that $79 per month is just too much. So, I'm shopping all of the typical places first: Golds, Ballys, 24 Hour Fitness... a gym report coming soon to a blog near you. Any suggestions appreciated.

My first M.A. course of the Winter quarter is already over. One class = one weekend. Woo Hoo! The topic? "Ethics in Higher Education." I didn't get to sleep in this weekend, but it was worth the sacrifice. For the next 5 weekends, I will be taking "History and Philosophy of Higher Education," which will at least give me Sunday free to roam around the house, have visitors (one in particular -- see below) or take a partial weekend trip somewhere. (Central Valley, maybe?)

I'm not really cereal dating any more. I went to pizza with Cinnamon Toast Texas Crunch this weekend, but didn't really view it as a date, more as a friendly get-together. I'm trying to see Special K as much as possible, and am having a difficult time being interested in anyone else. He's changing his work schedule to come down to San Jose on Friday so we can go out on a real date.

Off the market

Cinnamon Texas Toast Crunch

I know. This cereal doesn't really exist, but let's put it this way -- Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a Texan, a little younger than what I usually go for, but I found it to have a sweet and crunchy appeal (with a slightly thicker texture), so I'm willing to overlook his child-like appeal, for now. I'm also willing to overlook the fact that he went to law school, and I've had little luck with lawyers. (After the awkward kissing situation, RC and I never called each other.) They always seem a little dry...

CTTC took me to E&O for dinner followed by beers at a local Irish pub on the Tuesday before Christmas. (This was the only time we had to get together before the impending holidays.) He was the most outgoing lawyer I've every met, and I let him know that by saying, "You are the most outgoing lawyer I've every met!"

There was never a lack of conversation, we even talked over each other a bit. I gave him my Schtick about higher education, blah, blah, blah and he played along, telling me about his experiences at Notre Dame, etc. He was not offended by my lack of football knowledge. We discussed the law profession, and law in non-profit and performing arts organizations. We also hit pop culture and family values. We had a very open conversation about sex in relationships. He looked me in the eye when he talked to me, and asked me questions. I asked him questions. It was a freakin' 2-WAY CONVERSATION! OMG!

During the date I went back and forth with the age discrimination. (I was discriminating.) This guy has had a LOT of schooling -- he's obviously very intelligent, but has he really LIVED? Does he really know what he is looking for in life? He's traveled, lived in different states, has a large family, many interests and is a pretty happy-go-lucky guy. (I hate that expression.) Maybe I'm the one who is slightly jaded and I should be happy that CTTC is not.

It was a fun Monday night, and I went home with a smile on my face. Since the date, I went home to corn country and he spent his holidays in Texas. He phoned last night and is interested in getting together when he returns to CA tomorrow. To be continued...

FYI

I'm meeting out-of-towner Special K for dinner tonight (Tuesday). Will I EVER see this guy on a weekend?

Celebrate everyday!

I'm so glad to be back in "The Grind." Holiday madness has passed -- no more fluff, just back to working my way through life, trying to find a hidden suprise in the mix.

I found the holidays to be sadly mundane. During the holidays, I feel that I'm in a constant rut -- nothing is progressing, in fact, everything is digressing: my health, my work and school activities, my pocketbook, my relationships... I definitely don't get the overall warm, happy feeling that people are supposed to have during the holidays. Conversely, during "The Grind" I'm constantly thinking of ways to improve -- to take classes towards my MA, to move up professionally, to spend time with friends, to exercise, and just generally feel good about life. Holiday madness just puts me in a rut. It would be nice to have a break from the "The Grind" but not when it's just a bunch of materialistic hype, over-eating and over-drinking. I would rather just celebrate the "Every Day."

The reason why people tend to make New Years Resolutions must be due to the fact that people generally feel like crap about themselves at the end of the year. I will totally admit to feeling like crap, as I make the following resolutions:

1.) Make everyday advancements at work. Even if this means only that my desk is kept orderly, improvements should be made on a daily basis. The bigger picture is building my experiences and network for the future.

2.) Read more German literature. I don't find a lot of people to speak German to, and need to keep up. Reading is the best way. Since my reading skills are slower in German, I'll actually read less this year.

3.) Learn about grant writing. I would assist in the grant writing process for the performing arts and have been thinking about getting some PhD funding for myself...

4.) Stay healthy. I'm not going to complain. I've been pretty good about running, but health could always be improve.

5.) Date NICE guys. Eventually one will knock my socks off. I can't deal with Mr. Fraternity and his band of drinking buddies anymore. Fun does not equal functional...and it doesn't stay fun for long. This also ties into No. 4 Stay healthy.

6.) Remember friends' birthdays. This was a resolution after my birthday 2 years ago. It's getting better, but improvements can always be made.

Stuck in San Jo

At least I wasn't stuck at DEN, but my flight was delayed 5 days due to the blizzard in Colorado. I've finally made my way to the Hawkeye State after 3 days of basically sitting on my ass in SJ, free from working, doing nothing.

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Happy Festivus. Merry Christmahakwanzaka.

More later.

Smalltown, IA U.S.A.

I will keep the name of this town anonymous to protect it's dignity. (I love under the marriage statistics that they include everyone 15 years and older.)


Population (year 2000): 1,401.
Estimated population in July 2005: 1,310 (-6.5% change)
Males: 676 (48.3%)
Females: 725 (51.7%)

Median resident age: 43.0 years
Median household income: $29,958 (year 2000)
Median house value: $46,400 (year 2000)

White Non-Hispanic (84.6%)
Hispanic (14.3%)
Other race (3.3%)
Two or more races (1.2%)

Ancestries: German (21.0%), English (10.6%), Irish (9.4%), United States (5.1%), Swedish (3.4%), Scotch-Irish (2.9%).

For population 25 years and over
High school or higher: 74.3%
Bachelor's degree or higher: 10.9%
Graduate or professional degree: 2.9%
Unemployed: 4.2%
Mean travel time to work: 14.8 minutes

For population 15 years and over
Never married: 23.9%
Now married: 54.1%
Separated: 1.4%
Widowed: 10.5%
Divorced: 10.1%

Cereal Dating Status - Month 1

I HATE when profiles ask you about your "status." It's not like I'm single on purpose, or that I don't enjoy being single. Where is the "picky" status or the "happily unattached" status? Furthermore, there is no "cereal dating" status, and there really should be - at least for me. Here is my current cereal dating status, in case you were wondering, or if you are just plain confused:

Cornflakes

East coaster, lived all over
MA Stanford Engineering Grad who is taking time off of work to apply for MBA programs. His top choice? - Stanford, of course.
Non-offensive, looks like a Stanford guy. Goes to a lot of Stanford sporting events.
Date #1 A Stanford vs. SJSU basketball game
Date #2 Cajun food and a HS benefit music concert
AWKWARD DATE SCENARIO: Like an idiot, I leave my purse behind at our seats. I run back to get it. When I return, he has a hamburger and fries – for himself.
STATUS: Never called each other back.
FEELINGS: None.

Rice Crispies

Also from the "I" States, moved here 6 years ago
Law School Grad working in high tech
Dark and handsome, with a bit of geek. Likes karaoke. Not your typical "I" State ‘fratguy’.
Date #1 Dinner at a tapas restaurant
Date #2 Japanese food and dive karaoke
Date #3 Pizza and James Bond
AWKWARD DATE SCENARIO: Strange attempt at first kiss.
STATUS: Have invited him to Christmas Cocktails at the CoHo.
FEELINGS: I feel like this guy may have everything programmed.

Porridge

He's a local
SJSU marketing alum working in high tech
Dark, cute, nice dimples, plays soccer.
Un-official Date: Pub Crawl
Official Date #1: A walk around Santa Cruz
Date #2: Cuban food and coffee
Un-official Date #2: A friendly night out in Los Gatos
AWKWARD DATE SCENARIO: A girlfriend of mine was having a fight with her boyfriend. She gave him the, “You know SHE’S not into you, but what do you think of ME?”
STATUS: I hope he doesn't hope we are dating.
FEELINGS: Please go out with my friend. She could really like you.

Lucky Charms

North of Chicago, has been here for 2.5 years
Went to a small, liberal arts school in Ohio, works in high tech and is quite a "monster"
VERY tall, big hands, big feet, big hair. VERY Irish.
Date #1: Italian food
AWKWARD DATE SCENARIO: Outside in the parking lot, he asks me to guess which car is his because, “I hope people don’t have the wrong impression of me by what I drive.” He drives a BMW, which I would have thought was perfectly normal, had he not made such a big deal about it. I lived in Germany – I know they are reliable cars.
STATUS: He asked me to a movie, but when I found out Special K was coming to town, I made up a lame excuse not to go.
FEELINGS: Ditching a guy and using a lame excuse is not good. Should just cut off contact and not make any more plans.

Special K

From west Chicago burbs, moved to LA, lived there for 5 years, lived in ND before moving here 2 years ago
Went to the same school as my sister, works in automotive industry
Best smile, very kissable, works out a lot. Dry sense of humor, great laugh.
Date #1: A really weird Monday night on the town in which someone (not him) drank a little too much.
Date #2: A Tuesday night in Santana Row after a hard-days work.
AWKWARD DATE SCENARIO:He’s from out of town, here on business, so he’s staying in a hotel. Um, this could potentially be sleazy/ appear to be sleazy.
STATUS: We really need to get together on a weekend. I've invited him to a Christmas Party in Davis.
FEELINGS: Kind of warm and gushy.

Anyone in the hopper? A lawyer named Jeff.

Anyone else? No, I'm tired.

Where's the damned snow?

If there were a red or blue pill that gave me the option go either go through the holidays, or to skip it -- I would skip it.

I would wake up on Monday, January 8, go to the gym where I would run an easy 30 minutes on 7.0 treadmill speed and stretch. Before showering, I would stop by each mirror to marvel at how thin I look. I would go to work, where there would be plenty of important items on my desk. During lunch, I would check my bank account online to see that I have plenty of funds for a pedicure and a trip to Ann Taylor. No one would say, "Happy Holidays!" or ask for the millionth time what I'll be doing for Christmas, New Years, etc. No one would ask me what I did for Christmas, New Years, etc. It would be fabulous.

Unfortunately I must endure these holidays with everyone else. Even the party-loving, gift-buying, Christmas-In-The-Park-going people who think that is what the holidays are all about. These are the same people that honk at you on the freeway, take the last can of pumpkin, and steal your parking space because THEIR Christmas is sooo much more important than yours. I hate them.

I don't know why the holidays stress me out so much. So, I blame it on the weather.

California Christmas is confusing. I can understand wanting to spend Christmas on a beach, under a palm tree, relaxing, drinking something out of a coconut. I can also understand staying inside under a blanket because you can't get your car out of the snowed-in driveway. But, I don't understand the holidays having anything to do with rain or leaf blowers. I'm in more of a mood to go shopping for school supplies than to put up a Christmas tree. This is FALL, people. NOT winter!

A group from my choir is getting together next week to sing carols at Christmas in the Park. San Jose's Christmas in the Park scares the crap out of me. There are scary animated figurines and FAKE snow. Sure, I was spoiled as a child to enjoy walking down Chicago's historic Michigan Avenue to view the intricate window displays of Marshall Field's and the world famous Bloomingdales Christmas tree in the cold. But, why even bother pretending that there is snow on the ground? Doesn't this just confuse little children.

Caroling SEEMS like it would be fun, but, how many Christmas carols do you know that have nothing to do with winter? I think California and other no-winter states should do some carol rewrites and stop misleading people. Really, this is for the good of the children!

Oh the weather outside is delightful,
And forest fires are so frightful,
And since the weather is so tame,
Let it rain! Let it rain! Let it rain!

I'm dreaming of a foggy Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where the marine layer covers,
And birds still hover,
To hear our next door neighbor mow.

In the bleak midwinter,
Mild, wet wind made moan,
Earth stood soft and muddy,
Water flowed, flowed, flowed
Rain had fallen, rain on rain, rain don't you know?
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a horsepowered SUV!

Cell phones ring, are you listenen?'
On the freeway, traffic lights glistnen'
We're honk at them all, as we see a car stall,
Parkin' in a crowded shopping mall.

Special K®

A complete breakfast?


I googled "What's so special about Special K" and got the following hit:

Ketamine, or "Special K", is a veterinary anesthetic as well as a popular recreational drug due to its short term hallucinogenic effects.

Not exactly what I was looking for. So, now that we all know what is special about the hallucinogenic drug, Special K -- what about the cereal? The Kellogg's Special K website, did not give much scientific explanation to the mystery of this popular breakfast cereal other than saying "The prize is inside." Apparently there's a lot of good/healthy stuff in there. There is also the Special K Challenge:

The Plan

Eat a serving of one of the FIVE varieties of Special K® cereals with 2/3 cup skim milk and fruit for two meals a day.

Eat your third meal as you normally do.

For snacks, choose from the following:
- fresh fruits and vegetables
- a Special K® Bar
- a pouch of Special K® Snack Bites.

Consume beverages as you normally do.

The man, Special K, is also pretty special. He's a classic -- funny, slightly sweet, he's not full of bullshit. I liked him without hesitation the first time we spoke. We finish each other's sentences. It's a little scary. I'm having a hard time attaching him to a cereal, because there are really no outstanding cereal traits that make him fun to write about. As my friend, TC, pointed out - "Maybe you aren't "cereal" dating this guy. Maybe you are just dating him." Hmmmm... perhaps he's an hallucination?

In order to keep dating him, there will have to be a "plan" because he lives at least an hour from me. Isn't this ALWAYS the way it works out? So, I'm trying to make plans to get to know him a little better, which is difficult over the holidays. We both have trips planned back to the Midwest for the holidays (yes, he's from Chicagoland), work, and other engagements. Look for Special K at a Christmas party near you!

Lucky Charms

"They're always after me Lucky Charms..."




There's something sexy about a big type-A personality: the big ego, the drive, ambition. These people (men or women) are not afraid to put their personality on the table -- and as loud as possible -- because it's gotten them pretty far in life. I appreciate those hard-working, money-makers who enjoy their career and are at the top of their field. Unfortunately, I also think they come in contact with a lot of people in the single world who are not so much after their drive as their pocketbooks, and try a bit too hard to please them. I'm not one of "them."

Lucky Charms, who is Chicago-Irish, sweet and crunchy, made a reservation at a slightly-posh, yet comfortable Italian restaurant in Los Gatos. He's a big guy in all aspects of the word. Big body, big hands, big hair, big voice.

The restaurant had reserved a small table, which would have been fine, but LC wanted us to be comfortable, so we waited for a (big) booth. At the bar, he pulled out my stool for me and literally had to pick it up, with me in it, to slide it under the table. It was actually kind of funny -- especially since I'm weird about chivalry, and we both knew how blatantly chivalrous it was. We got a giggle out of it. This guy doesn't do anything half-way.

We sat down, and ordered a couple of drinks. He ordered some complicated scotch drink, "straight up" and I had a glass of Chianti. At this point, LC let me know that dinner was "on him." Well, thank you very much. That's fine. It's 2006, and chivalry is dead -- but he invited me, so I'll just shut up and enjoy it. For dinner, LC orders the lobster ravioli, of course. I ordered some tortellini thing.

Our conversation revolved much around Chicago, "big" projects, work ethic in the Bay Area, un-PC comments and jokes, naming pets, and paintball. We pretty much hit everything, although all of his work stuff was completely over my head, as singing and working in the performing arts was over his. LC moved to the Bay Area after being charged with moving a project at his (big) tech firm. Apparently, they thought he could get people moving on it with his dominant personality. He doesn't like to shit around -- he's a man of results. I can appreciate that, but at the same time, parts of the conversation seemed a bit arrogant to me, also with the scotch drinking and lobster eating. I'm usually the one who keeps the conversation going when meeting someone new, but I would say he took the prize for thinking up interesting date topics. So, here is the question: can two dominant personalities co-exist?

Perhaps his big personality is threatening to me... But, I accepted for another date. Am I after his Lucky Charms?