Turkey Trots and Tofurkey

Excuse me while I tell you about the rest of my Thanksgiving weekend that revolved little around cereal dating. I'm tired of the aforementioned subject anyway. If only my endurance for dating was that of my 10 K endurance. I would be a new woman.

I got up at 7 am with friends to run the 2nd Annual Silicon Valley Turkey Trot, where I saw NO signs of a turkey. But, Brandi Chastaine was there - again. Does she just travel to local running events and do radio blurbs? You're a great soccer player and a local hero -- we got it! I hate to say it, Helga, but I am not the fastest woman in San Jose, but I think I am the second fastest woman in Campbell between the ages of 20 and 29... Here's how I did:

Age: 27
13 F 20-29
50:16.1
50:31.0
0:14.9
8:06/M

The Trot was followed by 4 hours of cooking. For those of you who know me well, this is much more of a feat than running 6.2 miles. Not only am I not a good cook, I just don't usually do well in the kitchen environment. My roommate had brought home a gorgeous tofurkey, so I felt I should do my part. I made two pumpkin pies, green bean casserole with FRESH green beans, mashed potatoes (not the boxed kind), my mother's famous raspberry/cranberry jello concoction, and my roommate added a Finnish sweet potato souffle. It was all yummy, except maybe the rubbery tofurkey, but I really liked the stuffing that came with it. Not all tofu is bad.

Dinner and "Frida" was followed by a night cap in downtown Campbell.

Cornflakes, RC, porridge revisited...

Second dates are always so much more revealing than first dates.

Cornflakes sat through a 2 hour high school benefit concert and didn't complain. We'd also started the evening with Cajun food and a pitcher of Turbodog. That might have helped, but I genuinely think he had a good time.

Porridge still insists on opening my car door and took me to a restaurant where men with guitars serenade you at the table. He is almost insistent upon, "getting to know me better."

Rice Crispies is shy, but was not ashamed to sing "Livin' on a Prayer" at a dive karaoke bar or to eat chicken fried steak at a 24 hour diner at 2:30 am.

Coming soon (?)... The man from Chicago. What kind of cereal will he be?

Goldilocks tastes the Porridge

I just wish she could eat it up like this!

Unfortunately this Goldilocks doesn't yet know if the porridge is too cold, too hot, or just right. Goldilocks is a fan of oatmeal, but doesn't know if she's had porridge before, per say. It seems like it may be something she likes, yet maybe a little old fashioned for her tastes. Goldilocks is a very independent woman, but she's also sick of boring, cold cereal or conversely, burning her tongue.

Porridge and I met on a pub crawl, which was a lot of fun. I went with a group of pub crawl rookie friends. His group of friends were all of the pub crawl old-timers, there from the first year of this annual downtown tradition. He was a friend to many, loved by all, almost like the beloved fairytale. Porridge takes care of people --his friends, his family, random women he meets on pub crawls... He's just a good guy. I was constantly being introduced to new people, had a drink in my hand, my friends were treated like family. A good time was had by all.

The next day, Porridge and I decided to have a lazy Sunday (non-drunken) afternoon in Capitola, followed by sushi. He was attentive, opened the car door, etc. I liked this, but it also made me uncomfortable. I'm not used to someone trying to take care of me. I think this is my problem, and no fault of porridge, who just wishes everyone to have a nice warm breakfast on a cold morning.

Maybe I'm the cold porridge.

Snap, Crackle, Pop...

...Rice Crispies *singing*

I've changed my mind about Rice Crispies. This cereal is, of course, part of a balanced breakfast, but it makes fabulous sounds when milk is added. I'd forgotten how exciting it is when your cereal actually speaks back to you, furthermore when you are interested in what it has to say to you. Rice Crispies is intelligent and fun at the same time. Nothing needs to be added -- except milk, and it's damned tasty without. Rice Crispies is also responsible for the most delicious, easy to make snack, the famous Rice Crispy Treat. Mmmmmmm.

Mr. Rice Crispies is a midwestern gentleman who doesn't feel he needs to open doors for you, because he's not trying to overly impress you. (Chivalry is so dead, in my opinion.) He's quick (intellectually "snappy"), has a degree in law, could have the tendency to get dry or soggy, but is open conversationally and is not shy to admit to going to karaoke parties. We went to dinner at a tapas restaurant. He let me pick the place, and even let me decide what to order. He spoke softly but with such an aura about him that you knew he exuded confidence. Communication is so nice, isn't it? So many people lack in this category.

Rice Crispies is very open and honest about doing cereal dating of his own, making him almost more inticing. I'm sure I'm not the only one lured in by Mr. RC. Like I said, this guy is smart. He knows he's good looking, but can remain humble, and knows he's intelligent, but doesn't take over the conversation or activity. There is a mystery there - what makes Rice Crispies snap, crackle and pop?

I'll let you know if I find out.

Never been a Cornflake Girl

Never was a cornflake girl

Thought that was a good solution

Hanging with the raisin girls

She's gone to the other side

Givin us a yo heave ho

Things are getting kind of gross

And I go at sleepy time

This is not really happening

You bet your life it is

--Tori Amos

I could probably eat cornflakes at any time of the day, morning, lunch, evening, as a late-night snack. Cornflakes are a popular cereal, even worldwide. In fact, Germans refer to all cereals as "Cornflakes" as we Americans refer to facial tissue as "Kleenex". But, they really aren't a cereal that I crave or otherwise have an affection for. They are just good ole', standard, healthy, crispy flakes. Honestly, to make corn flakes taste really good, they need tons of sugar or fruit on top. It would be nice to find a naturally sweetened flake - perhaps the use of sugar instead of corn syrup. Cornflakes sweetened by corn syrup -- that's a lot of corn.

This is American, man. It's amazing how much corn is out there: corn flakes, corn puffs, corn chowder, corn bread, corn syrup... I should know, I'm from the #1 corn state. Iowans are proud of their corn culture; they even started the "ethanol" gas revolution. A product made of corn that runs an engine? REMARKABLE! I think my parents would be thrilled with a Cornflake son-in-law that could run an engine.

Cornflake Boy (who also happens to be a mechanical engineer.. he he he) invited me to a college basketball game last night - his high-brow, Ivy league alma mater, vs. my ghetto-ass State College. We had a beer before the game at a local pub where we discussed skiing and told funny Las Vegas stories before heading over to the game.

My first impression - yep, this is a Stanford guy. Cute, non-offensive, nice smile, clean, stands upright, looks you in the eye when he talks to you. My father would love him. We had a nice conversation throughout the game, but nothing deeper than surface level. (Not that I expected it on a first date.) CB is true to his team. He's the biggest fan of all Cardinal sports, and attends games regularly. He has 2 degrees from the tree-as-mascot university, and intends to go back for an MBA. I don't know, it's a little to "home grown" for my tastes. I think I'm in need of a little diversity.

Cereal dating

I've made an important decision. I'm going to start cereal dating. That's right "cereal" dating. I like all kinds of cereal, and I've decided to try and figure out what kinds of cereal are out there, and take a chance in trying as many new cereals as possible.

I used to like the typical cereals, back when I had a perfect impression of how breakfast should be. I liked Cheerios, Rice Crispies, generally. Now these varieties seem a little boring to me, even if Mom and Dad like them.

I've tried Honey Nut Cheerios, which are like Cheerios, only sweeter. They are also more fattening than regular Cheerios and don't have much in the way of nutritional value... oh, but they try to tempt with the cute little bee on the front. Oh, I'm not falling for that! Damned BEE!

I'm also a fan of rugged varieties like Grape Nuts. You have to be careful of the Grape Nuts. You really only need a little bowl to get a hearty helping of morning nutrition. If you pour yourself more than a small dose, the cereal gets soggy and the milk gets warm. Arg. I hate that. If you leave it for five minutes, it becomes a bunch of congealed gunk and you have to throw it away.

Oatmeal is another popular seasonal varietal. It's meaty, sugary, HOT and brown. It takes a little extra effort, but putting in the correct amount of water makes huge difference. You don't want to put in too little and have crunchy oatmeal, and you certainly don't want to overcook it to where it hardens around the edges.

I often go for the flake/dried fruit combo cereals, like Trader Joe's Cranberry Crunch or Raisin Bran, but am also finding these to get old pretty quickly too. It's a great combo - a hearty crunch with a little bit of sweet in there, but again, you have to watch out for soggy flakes.

I don't even try children's cereals like Cap'n Crunch (which can't spell) or Lucky Charms anymore. They were ok at a younger age, but I've outgrown fake little marshmallows and prizes at the bottom of the box. The prize is always some crappy plastic thing - very disappointing.

If anyone has any cereals that I could try out, please let me know.

I'm Byootyful

I think we need to say this to ourselves at least once a week. I'm puttin it out there for my lady friends (and gay men friends) to enjoy. It's Bette Midler at her best.

"I'm Beautiful"

"That's it, baby! When you got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!"

"This is the Divine Miss M and I'm here to share with you some rare and stimulating insight into my cosmic fabulosity. It's really very simple. I simply believe with all my heart:

"I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!I'm beautiful, so beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!

"Go away, little girl," they used to say."Hey, you're too fat, baby, you can't play.""Hold on, miss thing, what you trying to do?You know you're too wack to be in our school.

"Too wack, too smart, too fast, too fine,too loud, too tough, too too divine.I said you don't belong. You don't belong.Too loud, too big, too much to bear,too bold, too brash, too prone to swear.I heard that song for much too long.

Ain't this my sun? Ain't this my moon?Ain't this my world to be who I choose?Ain't this my song? Ain't this my movie?Ain't this my world? I know I can do it.I'm not too short, I'm not too tall,I'm not too big, I'm not too small.Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!

I'm not too white, I'm not too black,I'm not too this, I'm not too that.Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!

I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!

It's time to call it what it is. Don't play the naming game.Become what you were born to be and be it unashamed."Go away, little boy," I can hear them say,"Everybody on the block says they think you're gay.Hold on, my friend, do you think we're blind?Take a look at yourself. You're not our kind.

"Too black, too white, too short, too tall,too big, too green, too red, too small.I said you don't belong. You don't belong.Too black, too white, too short, too tall,too blue, too green, too red, too small.I heard that song for much to long.

Ain't this my sun? Ain't this my moon?Ain't this my world to be who I choose?Ain't this my song? Ain't this my movie?Ain't this my world? I know I can do it.

People always ask me,"Miss M, how did you get so faron so little?" Shut up!Well, I woke up one morning,flossed my teeth and decided,"Damn, I'm fierce!" You look good!You can be just like me! A goddess? Yeah!Don't just pussy foot around and sit on your assets.Unleash your ferocity upon an unsuspecting world.Rise up and repeat after me:

"I'm beautiful!"I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful!

Can you say that?

I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful!

I don't hear you!

I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful!

Louder!

I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful!

Hey!That's it, baby, when you got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!

Aaaaaah!

Ain't this my sun? My sun! Ain't this my moon? My moon!Ain't this my world to be who I choose?Ain't this our song? Ain't this our song?Ain't this our movie? Ain't this our movie?Ain't this our world to be who we choose?

I'm not too short, I'm not too tall,I'm not too big, I'm not too small.Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!I'm not too white, I'm not too black,I'm not too this, I'm not too that.Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!Ooh, don't lemme start lovin' myself!

I'm beautiful, dammit!

Prop 25: Stop the early celebrations!

I went to the gym this morning, and the lawn area outside of my gym was adorned with a HUGE Christmas tree. Come on people, it's only November 1! Isn't it WRONG to start celebrating Christmas before All Saints Day or El Dia de los Muertos? Aren't we supposed to mourn those who have passed before we begin to celebrate the birth of Christ. HELLLOOO!

I think this is wrong and I would like to set up Prop 25, which will halt the celebration of Christmas until after Thanksgiving. The calendar was set up for a reason, and I think we should start using it properly.

Please vote YES! on Prop 25. Stop the Early Celebrations!

Thank you.