The Former Fabulous Blog (Retired)

So, what happened in October?

2011-11-09T10:42:00.000-08:00

Lemme tell ya...

9/30 - I had a great interview for an Executive Assistant position with a company in Menlo Park.

10/3 - My recruiter called to let me know the company was considering an offer.

10/4 - I received an offer letter.

10/5 - I gave my two weeks notice. No one was surprised, including my boss who said, "Everyone is leaving, I hope people don't think that I'm a bad boss. . . *nudge* *nudge*"

10/21 - I found a remarkably good temporary replacement for my position, I trained her, and I left my job.

10/23 - I ran the Morgan Hill Half Marathon, and completed it in just one minute under my personal record. I am stoked because the course is more difficult than my current PR course! Yay for tri training!

10/24 - I started the new job. They are currently honeymooning me, but I don't mind the slower pace (for now). People are generally cool, and they are very open about how to/not to do things. The company has direction, and focus, and everyone works hard.

10/30 - Halloween.

I finished.

2011-11-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

In case I kept all two of my readers waiting on the results of my triathlon. (Is anybody out there? Seriously.)

Swim 41:52

The fear that I would not be able to complete the swim was resolved by many swims in the Foster City lagoon, and two trial ocean swims at Aquatic Park and Lover's Cove. By the time the day arrived, I knew I would make it. Mind over matter. I read the book, "Born to Run" while training - "You don't have to be fast, you have to be fearless."

Bike 1:24:04

A week before race day, I acquired a bike from my boyfriend's co-worker. This bike is a rad racer, used by a professional triathlete maybe 10 years ago. It is super small and speedy, comes with tri handlebars, gears that make slight adjustments automatically, and just looks cool. I took it to my local bike shop for new tires and pedals and they thought it might be worth a couple thousand dollars. My boyfriend is a good negotiator, and I got it for $350. Long story short, I decided to use the new bike for the tri, although I'd only ridden it on one training ride. It was super fast, but I also got some super rash in unmentionable areas. Lesson: always check the height of the seat with the shorts you will be wearing that day, and use Glide - lots of it.

Run 53:50

As I came out of the transition area for the run, my boyfriend comes running towards me, "If you run 8 minute miles, you can finish in under 3 hours!" He is so sweet for thinking I can still run an 8 minute mile after swimming a mile and biking 24. My miles were more like 8:40, and I was pretty happy with that.

So, to recap.
#1) I finished.
#2) I could take 6 minutes off of the swim next year, and possibly finish in under 3 hours.
#3) Lubricant.
#4) I would not have survived this summer without going into therapy without this triathlon and everyone who supported me through it.

Water +1, Suzanne +2 (Aquatic Park)

2011-09-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the last opportunity I had to swim in a bay before the Pac Grove Triathlon on September 10. When I arrived in front of the Dolphin Swim Club in San Francisco, it was a drizzly 60-something degree summer weather, typical of San Francisco. The Aquatic Park swimming area, between the swim club and the Maritime Museum, has a series of buoys which mark a 1/3 mile course from the first to last buoy, and back again. For those of you who are bad at math, you have to swim three circles around all of the buoys to complete a mile.

Over at the Aquatic Park benches, the stands and beach were full of happy Team In Training (TNT, but I like to call them TIT) groups getting ready to take the plunge in 50 degree water. My wetsuit, fortunately or unfortunately, is borrowed from someone who did Team in Training, and it has the TNT logo on the front. Everywhere I go, people yell "Go TEAM!" at me. I usually just play along.

Although the Team in Training folks had yet to approach the water, I was ready to hop in and get used to the cold. They all looked at me, confused to why I was going ahead, then wondering who I was. The water wasn't bad at all. In fact, it seemed much warmer than the water the last time I swam in Monterrey. After 5 minutes, I could still feel my feet. When my swim friends showed up, I was used to the cold and ready to swim!

The first half of the first lap was the most difficult. I had other swimmers kicking and swimming around and over me, much like a race-day situation. Over and over I had to convince myself that I was doing fine, that I was well trained for swimming, and that it would only be 45 minutes of exercise. A few times I was tempted to go back to shore, and believed that swimming open water was too much for me. Then, I thought about how hard I've trained and how disappointed I would be not to finish this triathlon. I literally had to take in some soothing breaths, and calm myself down. Mental games. Total mental games.

After the first lap, I was definitely ready to do another. After the second lap, I almost convinced myself that I'd done enough for the day. I had to tell my inner mental (psycho-ward) patient that I needed to complete the last lap, and that I needed to prove it to myself. At the beginning of that final lap, my neck started burning from the salt water - my neoprene cap was rubbing against my neck and I would most certainly have battle scars. I'd forgotten to put lubricant on my neck before the swim, and now the cap was digging into my body. This idea kind of excited me - YEAH! BATTLE SCARS!

Yet again, I swam one mile in open water. This time in the choppier, colder, San Francisco Bay with about 200 other people kicking around me. I don't know why it is taking me so long to realize that I'm awesome. And yes, I have the battle scars to prove it.

One more week to Pac Grove!

Professional Help

2011-09-01T14:13:00.000-07:00

Not only has it taken a lot of personal support from friends and family to make me a better person, but I no longer believe that professional support is some kind of cop-out for dealing with problems.

8 months ago I felt pretty horrible about myself. In order to turn it around, I started to make changes where is was the most comfortable, and enlisted professionals from my gym to work on my fitness level. (Which is connected to your heart, mind, body, soul . . . the hip bone's connected to the leg bone, the leg bones connected to the foot bone, etc) I met with Kolleen, the exercise physiologist, who suggested Dan, a personal trainer, who inspired me to sign up for TRX training with Garrett, which inspired me to get a swim instructor, Jessica.

3 months ago I decided to enlist a professional staff for my career endeavors as well. Actually, it wasn't by choice - while stumbling through job postings on Craigslist (see the desperation here), I found one for an Executive Assistant in Palo Alto. Although I knew it was coming from a staffing agency, and not directly from an employer, I shot over my cover letter and resume. Within one hour, I received a phone call from a bubbly recruiter named Amanda, who wanted me to come to San Francisco to interview with her at the agency. I really didn't want to hike up to San Francisco AGAIN (At this point, I've realized that taking a job in San Francisco would completely uproot my life.), but her agency also does staffing on the Peninsula and the South Bay - it was worth a shot. What could this "professional" do for me?

During the interview I told Amanda what I was looking for, and what I was not looking for. When I left I felt like I'd give her too much information, and sounded depressed, and I never thought I would hear from her again. I'd all but forgotten about bubbly Amanda and the Agency, until she called me within 24 hours to let me know she was updating my resume slightly to send it to a client. She had me in two interviews the very next week.

Not only am I working with Amanda, but it seems like my resume is being passed around to many staffing professionals in her office. Now, I'm getting job information from Molly and Kelli who have put me in touch with a few more employers.

I have not yet found a new job / career yet, but things are going pretty well right now. I had two interviews for VC firms, which seem a little stodgy to me (glad it didn't work out), have had a second interview with a really cool medical device company (fingers crossed), and took a preliminary English comprehension /copyright / attention to detail test for an internationally-known marketing firm (apparently most people fail!).

It has definitely perked me up to know that there are some new career paths where my current skills are relevant, that I'm not so desperate to take anything, and that I am a master of the English language. Thank ya veerra much *Elvis*.

Professional help = get some. It's ok.

Water +1, Suzanne +1

2011-08-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

Following the aforementioned race, (race name AKA "Dashin' but not a lot of splashin') I was pretty bummed out.

I went to Palm Desert for my birthday weekend, which was an excellent, relaxing distraction. While on vacation I worked out every day. No time wasted here. Luckily I went with my two mommy friends who dragged my ass out of bed between 6am and 7am each morning (because mother's never sleep), and we made it to the gym each day. I also swam a little bit in the pool each day, and even practiced a couple of flip-turns just for fun.

I needed to get serious about this swimming thing, so I emailed my friends, Kem and Bryan, who lives in Foster City to see if they would be open to doing some open water swimming with me. Low and behold, they have the Foster City Lagoon (literally) in their front yard. We all checked it out, and it received online reviews indicating that it is both safe and swimable, so as soon as I got home we set a swimming date and I took Mr. Wetsuit up the peninsula.

Now, the Foster City lagoon is water from the San Francisco Bay, so it is salty like ocean water. There are also a few waves associated with boats, currents, wind, etc so it's not choppy like the bay or ocean, but it's not as calm as a pool. Visibility is low, but it is only up to 9 feet deep, so there isn't much going on down there to surprise you. I'm not even sure if there is fish. I don't think so.

K & B had mapped out a route from the park to the boat dock that was about 500 meters. I would have been pretty happy with two passes (1,000 meters) although I would need another 500 meters to complete a mile swim. The first thing I thought when I saw the route was, "This is a lot more than 500 meters, right?" Like the swim race, I tried to put it into perspective of time. "I am going to be in the water for 45 minutes. That's all." We three swimmers walked down to the park to start our swim; Bry and I wore our wetsuits and Kem was much more brave. The water was a nice 70-something degrees, it was a lovely day, and there were no boats out on the water.

"Ok, here we go," says Bryan.

I realized a lot about how far I'd come in those first 500 meters. First, I realized how far I'd come since not being able to complete a lap 4 months before. Secondly, I realized how comfortable I was becoming with my stroke and kick. Finally, I knew it was more about controlling the situation more than about my personal fitness ability. After 200 meters or so, I knew I was in control. As I breathed side to side, I was able to mark my place along the shore. It was also very nice not to have to stop and turn around like in a pool situation; I could just keep going long until I got tired or was finished. I wasn't tired. Instead, everything felt like it was coming together and I imagined myself like a little fish - like I belonged in that water. It wasn't more than 10 minutes that I'd reached the end of the first 500 meters, and I wanted to turn around and go back right away.

We swam 3 lengths, or 1,500 meters that day. The next week we did it again and went 4 lengths, and even rode 30 minutes down the Bay Trail.

I kicked the water's butt.

Water +1, Suzanne 0

2011-08-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

I successfully completed my first 1,650 meters in the pool (the distance needed for my olympic triathlon), so I decided to test it in open water. The "Splash and Dash" event was a .93 mile swim in a nice, 78 degree, fresh water reservoir, followed by a hard terrain, 5K run that ends up a very steep hill.

Upon arrival at the Steven's Creek Reservoir on a lovely summer evening, I remember looking at the giant orange, Doritos buoys in the water and thinking, "Damn, is that a mile? That seems really far." But, I knew I had already swum a mile in the pool! Instead of dwelling on the seemingly long distance, I decided to put it into time. It's 45 minutes or less of exercise, something I have done 1-7 days a week for most of my life. It's only 45 minutes. No big deal.

I wondered if swimming was like running where you get excited when the race starts and end up going a lot faster than you would on your own. The thought of doing better in a race than on my own totally pumped me up!! Then, I started to see people changing into wetsuits. I thought the wetsuit was only needed in cold water. . . so I didn't bring one.

First of all, a mile is a long way to swim. Mostly because you don't know where the hell you are going. Sure, there are these huge buoys in the water and they are bright orange, but your head is UNDER the water most of the time. Furthermore there are a hundred people around you, kicking and swimming OVER you, that there isn't a lot of time to look around. You know?

I've taken for granted how easy running is for me. I know how fast I need to start, when I can give it more, and when I need to slow it down a bit. I don't know how to do this when swimming. I only know how to kick one way, stroke one way, and breath after every three strokes. I don't think about what my feet are doing when I'm running. I just . . . go!

Lastly, the wetsuit gives you buoyancy. This helps when your swimming form is completely thrown out the window due to the above mentioned distractions: no visibility, people swimming over you, and forgetting to breath.

The outcome of my first Splash and Dash was panic. I was the last person in the water. I started to swim, keeping an eye out for the woman's feet in front of me. Then I couldn't breath. I turned my head to take a breath but it wasn't enough, so I turned my head again. Then the hyperventilating began. Yes, I was breathing IN, but had completely forgotten to breath OUT.

"I can not do this." It was a thought that occurred to me only a couple of other times in my life. It was so far from my typically fearless attitude, that the clarity of hearing it in my own head made me know it was very real. "I can not do this."

I swam back to shore after swimming maybe 50 meters. Someone called out, "Wow! You're done already." Oh, that's right. I was so done.

Summer lovin'

2011-07-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Typically I love summer by slacking off a little bit in July. Well, not so much this year. For quite a few years I've logged my workouts in a hand-written calendar so I can look back on months gone by, count miles, know when my shoes need to be replaced, and for motivational purposes as well. If I see a couple of blank squares on the calendar, it makes me sad.

Here is July 2010 compared to July 2011. (The last week of July 2011 is in pencil to represent what I kind of workout I *should* do that day.)

The Kelp Crawl

2011-07-18T15:13:00.000-07:00

The swim is definitely the interview of the triathlon for me. If I can just get through the swim, the rest of the race will be absolutely exhilarating and wonderful. The problem I'm finding is that no matter how hard I try (the swim lessons, the practice sessions), swimming presents an very interesting mind-boggling challenging. I need to get over this in the next two months, so I will continue to tighten my goggles, and kick those legs. (Now if I could just feel comfortable with the stroke!)

My fitness level is very good, but I'm not very efficient in the water, which is making me crazy. I feel that I want to put my best foot (or arm) forward, but everyone else's best foot and arm are more efficient than mine. Then I get flustered, which makes the stroke and breathing more difficult, thus rendering me inefficient. Unfortunately the swim is first, and my beloved running is last, so I'm going to use the run as my carrot to just get through, but I won't be able to bike or run if I can't get out of the water.

I joined a training team at work, The Mighty Broncos, who meets a few times a week for swimming, running, and cycling. This weekend, I joined TMB for an open water swim clinic in Monterrey at the exact location we'll be doing the Pacific Grove Triathlon. Miss Midwest over here (that's me), has never swum in the ocean. Oh sure! I've put my face under and taken a few strokes, but nothing like what I experienced over the weekend...

The Equipment: I had to rent a wetsuit, which was a new experience, and also kind of a fun one. The wetsuit was marvelous in the ocean! Not only did I get some insulation from cold water, but it also created buoyancy, so I won't drown! Pretty awesome. I want to swim in a wetsuit all the time, but I'm sure they would kick me out of the gym pool. HA! As a contact lens wearer, I worried about goggles falling off, or not protecting my eyes, but so far so good.

The View: I thought I would be more scared to look down in the water and see murky shadows beneath, but I wasn't. The view was actually quite pretty below.

The Fauna: There are no sharks in this water, and I have no fear that sharks will come an attack over a thousand people splashing around in the water. I'm also not scared that a fish will come by, or a seal with bark at me. I'm a friend of the animals.

The Flora: Lover's Point in Monterrey is not just a swim, but the "kelp crawl"! Do I think kelp is disgusting - no. Do I care that it is slimy - no. Do I care that it tastes gross - not really. What did bother me about the kelp is that is basically takes my inefficient swimming, and makes it even more inefficient. In fact, for about 50% of the "swim" I was kicking and army crawling through kelp. Boo for the kelp.

The Salt: Ugh, I hate the taste of salty water. I'm not worried that the water is in any way dirty, but just the taste alone made me want to vomit.

I need to be successful in an interview/swim process so I can do what I'm good at - the biking, and swimming! I want to kick butt, but I need to get out of the water first. Unfortunately there are others who can interview and swim better than I can. In the case of the triathlon, I may catch up with some of them. In the case of an interview, I'll never get the chance to prove myself and do what I'm really good at.

I guess it was good to experience the open water swim before the tri, instead of just assuming pool practice would get me though. This will be quite a mental challenge. Not as challenging as the job search, but maybe if I get through, it will make me feel all-around stronger in other aspects of my life. Right now, I'd rather swim than be rejected by another job interview.

Ma belly

2011-07-09T22:16:00.001-07:00

I've been working on that body fat percentage since February, so I thought I would share a few pictures. 2% loss is pretty good, but I'd like to get down 2% more.

Pic #1: February 1, 2011

Pic #2: July 1, 2011

The tan definitely helps too. Onward to tri training and more crunches!

Icannothascheezburger

2011-07-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

(If you haven't seen the site Icanhascheezburger.com, it's worth a looksie. Especially the LOL Cats section. You'll like it, even if you don't think you like kitties, you will! Or you will continue to think they are evil, but also funny.)

It's been over a month, so let me update you. I've been swimming, biking, running, and TRXing. I signed up for swim lessons at my gym, joined a group that swims and runs at work, and lubed up the Fuji.

It's triathlon time! The date is September 10, 2011. The event is the Pacific Grove Sprint Triathlon. The sprint includes a .25 mile swim, a 12 mile bike ride, and a 2 mile run. I wish there was a triathlon distance that was .05 mile swim, a 20 mile bike ride, and a 6 mile run, but there is not, and they don't allow you to make up your own competitive sport. Although I think my sport would be awesome, and the sprint is not enough running for my taste, the olympic distance triathlon is too much swimming for my little beginner fins right now.

This might be just the distraction I need this summer. Maybe I should blog about it too. Here are my website name ideas:

Icannothascheezeburger.com

tridistraction.com

needanewgoal.com

trynottodrown.org

focusonworkoutnotwork.com

cannotcometoworktodaymustswim.com

What do you think?

Maxed out

2011-05-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

After a victorious week in the exercise kingdom, I felt awesome for about a week and pushed myself to new limits. After a week of pushing my limits, I felt tired, drained, and on the verge of maxing out my capacity, so I took it easy for a week. That week was full of lighter running, lighter on the weights and TRX exercises, and I felt good to go again this week.

In work related news: We have a PC in my office that has been maxed out for at least a year. We let assistants use this computer for small tasks because that's all it's able to do anymore. It should have been replaced, but we don't have any money to replace it, and there are bigger issues and budgetary issues to contend with. So, we keep working that poor PC. I know one day, it's just going to quit working. The PC is slow, frustrated; sometimes it doesn't save files or allow us to log in. It's sad. There is no way to give that computer a rest. It just needs to be replaced as soon as possible.

Unfortunately I think I'm at capacity at my job as well, but I can't really stop and I can't really afford a nice, relaxing vacation. I'm starting to make mistakes. A woman came into my office a few weeks ago saying she had contacted me about an event she wanted to hold, and I didn't remember seeing her before. This was a small mistake. Today, I realized a serious double-booking - one I don't know if I'll be able to fix. I know it's not the end of the world, but I really want to be able to start fresh and don't know how. At this point, I just want to quit. But, I can't and won't because they repercussions of that would be far worse than the time off to reevaluate, refresh, renew and start again.

I'm searching postings like a mad woman again and submitting my resume, but nothing is popping yet. I haven't had a job interview in two months. I'm not sure how long I can keep working like this before my dissatisfaction starts maxing out other areas of my life as well.

How do I start new and fresh? How can I rejuvenate?

Frustrated.

Working my ass on

2011-05-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure whose butt actually gets smaller as they get fit. Mine does not. My backside only gets larger and more muscly. (Is that even a word?) I'm not complaining, although I wish my belly would get smaller. Yep, it's the same size. My belly is affectionately called "the bagel" at my house. Roll me in sesame seeds and it looks like a sesame seed bagel. Sorry for the visual. :)

The good news is, I've been mixing up the routine big time over the past couple of months. A typical schedule is:

Mondays: 1 mile, 3 sets of TRX, 1 mile, 3 sets TRX, 1 mile, 3 sets TRX, (maybe another mile), stretch
Tuesday: 3-4 miles and weights
Wednesday: spinning
Thursday: off or TRX and running
Friday: off or TRX and running
Saturday: yoga and or a boot camp class
Sunday: long run

Now my goal is to up the miles (longer cardio), and/or include more biking or swimming while keeping on the TRX and weight routine. I figure this will add 20 minutes to each work out. I'm already signed up for swim lessons starting at the end of June.

I met with Kolleen again yesterday for another health assessment. My blood pressure is the same, I've lost one whole pound, BUT . . . I've lost 2% body fat since March. Woo hoo! 2%, 2%, 2%, YAY! It would be great to get down to 19%. I'd be stoked with 18%, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Weighing in

2011-04-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

1 lb lost
1 job interview

My trainer and exercise physiologist suggested that I "play" with my food to try and find something that will work for my lifestyle. That brought me to trying the low/no cheese diet, and the EVUIP diet. The scale confirmed last week that I have lost one whole pound. I'm not going to continue to weigh myself, as this has proven futile. From now on, I will only weigh myself based on how good (or not good) I feel. Right now I feel pretty great, so let's just go with it.

Low/No Cheese is going well. It's actually not as difficult as I thought. I'm allowing for a pizza or lasagna once a week, and I'm not going to die without the entire baby loaf and crackers. The "Eat Veggies Until I Puke" diet is not working. Eating more veggies at the beginning of a meal does not mean I will eat less of the delicious stuff. It has caused me to think about how many veggies I've consumed on a daily basis, though.

I'm still intending to "play" which includes trying different eating and exercise tactics. Let's make a list of these tactics, shall we?
1.) Low/No Cheese will continue.
2.) Be a little more hungry at work, and drink more water.
3.) No wine consumption until Thursday.
4.) Add mileage to workouts.
5.) Add yoga to weekly exercise plan.
6.) "Earn" food. For example, have a big breakfast *after* working out. Use food as a reward. (Exactly what they told our mothers NOT to do! Awesome!)
7.) Take swim lessons. Add swimming once a week.
8.) Bike don't drive to work this summer.

As for the job search. I had a phone interview last week, and I have no idea how it went. I was asked skill related questions, I answered them and gave examples. Seemed pretty straight forward. If they never speak to me again, I won't cry my eyes out like I would have two months ago. Just like trying to change my body, trying to change my job doesn't help if I'm weighing myself all the time. It just makes me feel like crap.

Now, I'm going to spin class. Bye.

I am now the proud owner of. . .

2011-03-30T14:58:00.001-07:00

TWO gym memberships! That's right. No excuse not to work out like a mad-woman!

I know I gave Golds Gym quite a crappy review a few years ago. I still think it's a smelly gym compared to my beloved Club One. Sometimes, it's not the place, but the person that makes all the difference. There are two very important people in my life affiliated with Gold's. The first is my boyfriend, who needs to exercise his body as well as his brain while in graduate school. The second is a friend who teaches a fantastic power yoga class, and has talked me into getting certified to teach a few group classes myself.

Don't get too excited about yours truly becoming the next Jackie Warner (my female crush). I got the reading materials and DVDs from my friend last weekend, and I intend to read through, and just go from there. Because I don't have a degree in physiology or fitness, and I don't have any world records or big athletic achievements to speak of, my friend advised against personal training certification. She said that teaching classes is much more structured, guaranteed pay, and a good way to get my feet wet. This is opposed to having clients that drop like flies because 80% of them don't want to work out anyway. (I agree this would frustrate me.)

I don't know if fitness can be a career, but studying will give me some knowledge about my own fitness, and maybe certification could lead to a few more dollars in my pocket. Baby steps.

Because I know you miss my week in reviews:
3 weeks LOW/NO cheese
0 change in my weight (I'm still holding at 134)
6 training sessions completed with Dan
0 training sessions left with Dan :(

No complaints

2011-03-24T11:17:00.001-07:00

My Gram passed away last week, so I took the first flight I could afford out of San Francisco on Saturday night to spend time with family at her funeral. Gram was 92, was in constant pain and depression, and prayed daily that God would take her home. The last 10 years of Gram's life were not the memories I would like to hold onto; instead it was the first 20 that were wonderful and happy.

Before my grandpa passed in 1988, my family and I would travel to Burlington, Iowa from Illinois in one of those classic family driving memories with my parents, older sister and brother:
"Mom! Scott took my bear and won't give it back."
"Dad, are we THERE yet?"

The beginning of the movie musical, The Music Man, the train passes from Illinois into Iowa, and they never go over a bridge - this part has always bothered me.

The last part of our journey was the "big" bridge (I had not yet see the Bay or Golden Gate Bridge) over the Mississippi into Burlington which was a beautiful river city with large red brick warehouses, the prominent Burlington Hotel, and the former hospital which overlooks the roadway from a tall bluff. We'd drive a few streets into the residential neighborhoods and on to Bertsch Street to a small, neat, white house with a front porch. Before we even pulled in we could smell Grams roast beef simmering in the oven, and wonder if Grandpa would take us to the park to fly a kite or play a tune on his organ.

My grandparents acted to be tremendously in love, and their silly little arguments would often turn into flirting. Gram was a homemaker, and Grandpa was a retired clerk for the railroad. They were surrounded by other family members in town, mostly Grams 10 brothers and sisters, their children, and grandchildren. Every year I learned names at our summer family reunions, only to forget their names again the next year. My grandparents kind of seemed like the matriarchs of the family - perhaps to me, at least.

My Grandpa's funeral was the first I'd ever attended - I was almost 9 years old. He was my favorite guy. He had the most beautiful dark hair that I liked to comb, he always had a bowl of peanuts on the front porch and would feed the chipmunks living under the porch. (The chipmunks loved him too. After he was gone, they also went away.) Most of all, Grandpa was a musician. He played an organ, and composed songs, mostly religious, but he also had fun songs about Santa Claus and funny things that kids do. Gram was never quite the same after Grandpa was gone. Her house was still impeccable, and she still made her roast beef, but there was always this odd chair missing at the dinner table. Luckily she had sisters, brothers, and University of Iowa football.

During the last 10 years, her health started failing, as well as her ambition to live. She sold the little white house, and moved in with her brother who wanted to take care of her. She and her brother lived in The Burlington Hotel, which had been converted from a hotel into apartments and overlooked the river, big bridge, and railroads that slowly began to gray a little every year before our eyes. About this time, I moved to California so my visits became less, but going back was no longer the whimsical trip to Grandma's house that I remember as a child. Instead of the silly arguments and kites, turned into conversations about the horrors of the world, natural disasters, people dying, and sins.

It was said at my Grandma's funeral that she couldn't watch the news because it would worry her too much. She was luckily on her death bed during the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. It was also said at her funeral that she was accepting of other people, which is difficult to remember from the last 10 years. I remember only she and her brother not understanding those with a different lifestyle: those who are divorced, homosexual, in jail (like those are all the same "sin"). Living in California, I found those conversations difficult because I was learning to accept those who lived differently than I do, and also to embrace differences. I usually kept/keep my mouth shut. (Imagine that!)

While traveling to the funeral from Des Moines to Burlington this weekend, we stopped for a bite of breakfast at McDonalds in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. (Of course! So much for "no cheese.") As we ate, we couldn't help but overhear conversations of the little old people that sat in the restaurant at different tables with their watered-down coffee, looking out the window onto the brown fields, and complaining about traffic in the major cities. "I would never want to live in a place like Chicago, or Kansas City . . . and in California, they have those lanes that you can't drive in!"

My sister and I laughed a little, but it was also pretty depressing. I almost wanted to yell back like, "Oh you wouldn't want to live in those horrible places where people actually have things to DO besides sit around a McDonalds all morning!"

Driving into Burlington was equally as distressing, including those gray buildings, boarded up shops, half-fallen homes, and people without smiles on their faces. It was so good to see family again, and relearn those names, and hear wonderful things about my Gram again. It made me feel like I wasn't dreaming those first 20 years, but it also made me wonder where it all went. While I was busy building my happy life in California, my Gram was just letting hers go in a dilapidated town in Iowa.

I told my parents they should continue to find something new in their lives. They are looking at property in Arizona, which would be exciting for them and bring them a little closer to me! The experience back in Iowa definitely reminded me that life is too short for complaints. Life is really what you make of it - if you are unhappy and try to find faults in others, then you only confirm unhappiness and faults within yourself. It's time to find something new in my life and stay excited about the process. No complaints!

Pssssst. . . I cut the cheese!

2011-03-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Pun intended.

Day 1: I had to leave my microwavable, ricotta and spinach-stuffed tortellini in the fridge and find another option.

Day 2: I didn't have time to go out for lunch, so I ate the tortellini anyway.

Day 3: No cheese. Pretty easy.

Day 4: Went on a double date at our favorite Italian restaurant in Los Gatos. Although I ordered the fettuccine with marinara and two meat balls -my dinner came with Parmesan cheese sprinkled on the top. I decided to just go with it because the cheese was clearly a "garnish" and not a substantial part of the meal. Right? I passed on the baked brie appetizer, and I also had a side of spinach to start the meal.)

Day 5: After a 4-miler in Sausalito, I went to my boyfriend's family's house for a St. Patrick's Day dinner. I passed up the cheese tray, again. Yay!

Day 6: I had the "Fitness Breakfast" at Bill's Cafe, and asked for egg yolks because I'm not giving up eggs too!

Day 7: No problem.

Today: I had a salad for lunch, and asked for feta on the side. I used half of it. Not bad.

The important part of no-cheese is really just to keep it "low"-cheese. It is nearly impossible to never eat cheese, ever. It comes on EVERYTHING, and it is already assumed by the dining establishment that you want it. Because really. . . who doesn't want some delicious saturated fat on their cheeseburger, or a grilled cheese...maybe some Parmesan on your pasta, or Gouda on your sandwich, or cream cheese on your bagel, or American on a Saltine, or some cheddar on your burrito! What a life that must be for those who are lactose intolerant! The horror! The horror!

By the way, if I don't see visual body improvements in the next two weeks, I'm going to go back to eating an entire Tillamook baby loaf in one sitting.

...whereby our heronie gives up cheese. . .

2011-03-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

If A = B. (Saturated fat makes you fat)
And C = A. (Cheese is made up of saturated fat.)
Does A = B? (Cheese makes you fat.)

We are going to use the transitive property, and find out.

Today I had to give away my teeny-tiny lunch portion of tortellini because it had ricotta cheese in it. I suppose it would have helped if I packed my lunch AFTER I decided to try a no-cheese diet for a few weeks. Experimenting with vegetables isn't going to be enough - adding good stuff to bad stuff does not delete the bad stuff. It's time to get rid of something bad. I mean good....oh, so good and tasty.

Mmmmmm. . . cheese.

EVUIP

2011-03-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

3 weeks of personal training
134 pounds
22.2% body fat
increased overall health

I've gained weight, and body fat. Not so awesome.

After meeting with Kolleen again today, it occurred to me that the only way to lose weight an body fat is to do something about my diet. Everyone told me. I listened, but I didn't do it. Although my overall health is better, my goal was also to lose a little weight and body fat. Good isn't my best, and I need to do more.

The suggestion for better eating: "Start meals with vegetables, and fill up on them before eating what you like to eat." I'm going to try this. I don't know if it's going to work because I feel like I'll eat the veggies, then eat the entire portion anyway.

For the next couple of weeks it's: Eat Veggies Until I Puke. EVUIP.... er, not such a good acronym.

Dreams when you're 30

2011-02-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

We've all had dreams about being back in college. . .

*****Entering Dream Sequence*******

Everyone around me is so excited about next year! The summer has been great, but we are all doing something new this year. Some of us are studying abroad, some are applying to graduate school, some are getting their first jobs, and others are just trying to figure out their class scheduled.

Fraught with possibilities, I start brain storming! Instead of going to Germany, I could study in Italy. I could learn Italian and make new friends, and come back singing opera! Or I could apply for law school. I could really challenge myself to hit the LSAT books and sign up for the test... Or gee, I should take that math class finally and graduate and get out of here.

*****Exiting Dream Sequence*******

OMG. Wait. Didn't I already graduate from college? I passed that math class and I can prove it! I studied in Germany, and I even moved back to Germany for awhile after college. I traveled to Italy. I don't need to find a place to live because I already have one. Also, I already went to graduate school. Shit! I wrote a thesis and everything!

******Totally Awake*******

I have a job. I have responsibilities. I want to go to Europe, but I can't afford it. I should have been lawyer. Damn. Being 21 was awesome.

Finding purpose

2011-02-28T10:16:00.000-08:00

My buddy KG suggested I meet a friend of hers, HL, who has quite a lot of experience in resume writing, and networking. Unfortunately we were only able to "meet" through email, but I did receive a lot of professional networking tips, and resume help which I greatly appreciate. HL suggested I do a personality test, maybe the Meyers Briggs, which I did about 4 years ago in a leadership class for my Master's degree. (That degree is TOTALLY paying for itself right now. *sarcasm*)

ENFP/ENFJ - Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving/Judging (I'm about 50/50 on the P/J)

HL wrote me back saying, "I'm an INFJ - borderline introvert/extrovert, so we are pretty close! We both need some serious 'purpose' when it comes to our career pursuits!"

Purpose. Yeah that's exactly what I need. I'm not one of those people who can just take any job. I need to care about work; I need to know the company's purpose, my boss' purpose, my co-workers' purpose, and my own purpose. It's actually purpose that I've been struggling with all along in my current position, and the fact that I feel like I have none.

Overall, my company is educational, so we have a great purpose! My department is struggling to figure out its place in the company, and is made up of individuals who don't have a clear idea of the company's mission, or they are out for their own purpose. When I started here, I thought my purpose was to keep people together, and create new and innovative programs. I really felt for a long time that we could do some strategic planning, and give the department some vision to move forward. Recently I feel like this purpose has been diminished to cleaning up messes, and just keeping the peace (barely) between people who are content with mediocrity. Furthermore, I realized this is not going away any time soon.

On a positive note -- I'm a stellar problem solver! But, I don't want problem solving and fixing other people's messes to be the purpose for my life. There is this whole creative side of me that needs to be realized, and I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out what it is. If I'm going to clean up a mess, I'd rather it be my own.

Here's a workout

2011-02-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

1 mile

12 sit ups on incline bench
12 RDLs
12 sit ups on incline bench
12 RDLs
12 sit ups on incline bench
12 RDLs

1 mile

12 over head weights (15 lb each arm)
12 side sit ups on incline (25 lb weight)
12 over head weights (15 lb each arm)
12 side sit ups on incline (25 lb weight)
12 over head weights (15 lb each arm)
12 side sit ups on incline (25 lb weight)

1 mile

12 TRX pushups
12 TRX hip extensions
12 TRX pushups
12 TRX hip extensions
12 TRX pushups
12 TRX pushups

12 TRX pullups
12 leg up/arm up sit ups
12 TRX pullups
12 leg up/ arm up sit ups
12 TRX pullups
12 leg up/arm up sit ups

stretch

I really need to figure out what these exercises are really called. I'm sorry if no one understands what the hell I'm talking about. Anyway, I'm enjoying my new workouts so far. :)

Lifestyle Coaching Today

2011-02-22T18:44:00.000-08:00

The lifestyle coach told me almost exactly what I thought. There is no amount of exercise that will take the place of food, and it needs to be a balance of both exercise and eating. She did make me feel better about my weight, saying that I don't really need to lose weight. But, if I chose to lose weight, I need to experiment with my metabolism. Of course, she suggested a food journal. Ugh.

Experimenting with my metabolism is something that I've tried to do. I've logged my food into websites like www.sparkpeople.com, and I always come up over the limit. WAY over calories, or WAY over fat, or WAY over protein. By dinner I'm frustrated, and hungry. I've also tried small meals. Eating smaller meals, and more per day does not make me less hungry; it also doesn't allow me to go out to eat. As soon as I go out to a restaurant, my brain is screaming, "FEED ME SEYMOUR!" Also, as soon as alcohol consumption comes into play, it's all over. You might as well have skipped breakfast.

Side note: Maybe I should have a couple glasses of wine for breakfast. I could get the early morning breakfast calories, and have a nice rush to start my day . . . or fall asleep. . . ok, bad idea.

The good news is the lifestyle coach told me I shouldn't worry about my weight (although I'd still like to lose 5 pounds). She also told me that my body is craving protein and fat because I need protein and fat. I also drink PLENTY of water on a daily basis, so I'm good there. The other good news is now I've made myself accountable to 3 full-time employees at the gym. It will be difficult to avoid them, and they will ask me questions like, "How's it going?" I don't want to have to tell them that I made it to the gym, even after eating a burrito and drinking a bottle of wine.

I guess I'll keep exercising harder to earn that burrito. Oh yeah, and the wine. Oh and try not to over eat. Lots of exercise in my future.

How I ruined my day off

2011-02-21T13:57:00.000-08:00

1 day off
1 resume
1 talk with a friend (about above resume)
1 nervous breakdown
-1 workout
1 ruined day

Worth It

2011-02-16T16:37:00.001-08:00

Legs. Butt. Hurt. So. Bad.

Instead of jumping up and down on my own two feet, I feel like someone twice my size jumped up and down on my legs. I got up again at 5:50am this morning to hit the gym, and I could barely get out of bed. After swallowing two ibuprofen and convincing myself that it's not that bad, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, and another 30 minutes running (slow) on the treadmill, followed by stretching. Now it is almost 5:00pm and I can barely move. Geez.

I fell asleep last night watching The Biggest Loser and wondered how those people feel after their first day with Bob and Jillian - especially since many of them have never worked out at all. It can't be comfortable. They must be thinking the same thing I am:

"Is the pain really worth it?"

Luckily, with exercise, I've been through this kind of soreness enough times to know that it will eventually go away and I will be a stronger person because I will have worked through it. Many others may chose to give up not knowing that they could have been stronger, or they will just start over and feel the pain again.

Unfortunately, I ask myself if the pain is really worth it in my current job - and I don't have such a well-defined answer. It's difficult to get out of bed, I feel stuck, unable to move, and don't see how this experience is making me any stronger. I also feel like I'm not growing and it's completely debilitating. Ibuprofen (or wine) doesn't help. It just hurts. The only reason I don't give up completely is that it's probably better than having no job at all. But, damn. That's depressing.

Next to my desk at work, I have a copy of the serenity prayer:

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference; living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace..."

Instead of dwelling on things out of my control, I'm really trying to focus on those things that know I can endure, and continue to work through them so that it makes me stronger.

Plyometrics

2011-02-15T10:48:00.000-08:00

1 early morning (5:50 am)
1 personal training session
1 million lunges
1 million core exercises
2 exaggerations
133 pounds

Plyometrics (also known as "plyos") is a type of exercise training designed to produce fast, powerful movements, and improve the functions of the nervous system, generally for the purpose of improving performance in sports. Plyometric movements, in which a muscle is loaded and then contracted in rapid sequence, use the strength, elasticity and innervation of muscle and surrounding tissues to jump higher, run faster, throw farther, or hit harder, depending on the desired training goal. (Wikipedia)

Today I met Dan, my personal trainer for the next 5 weeks. Dan introduced me to plyometrics. I finally understand what those adjustable cords tied to the wall of the gym were for! There are other methods of plyos, like jumping up on boxes and using resistance bands which we may get into. Stay tuned.

Basically, anything new will kick your ass. In a good way. It hasn't been 24 hours, and I'm already sore. Tomorrow will be interesting.

I learned a few new things about exercise and about my own abilities. First, my legs are pretty strong but I need to work on my hamstrings, which are one of the most under worked area of the legs for most people. Dan showed me the correct form for lifting weights to target hamstrings. I'd done these similar weights for years, but incorrectly. To to them correctly, you actually get to stick your butt out. I've always had this idea in my head that you shouldn't stick your booty out, but I was wrong. There is some booty-sticking-outing that supports your back and legs. Second, I learned that after years of doing core exercises at least once a week, that I still have some work to do. Again, form is very important. Lastly, unless you are body building, there is no reason to spend a day on legs, a day on arms, a day on shoulders, etc. I'm going to learn some new full-body moves that can work my entire body.

Today, I also realized my worst fear. I need some nutrition help. Although Koleen said I didn't have a weight problem, I would like to lose a couple of pounds or at least a couple pounds of fat. Dan suggested I meet with the club lifestyle coach, so I made an appointment with her next week. Argh. My worst fear is that she's going to tell me exactly what I don't want to hear: I need to count calories, I eat too much cheese, I drink too much wine.

Changing habits is not just losing weight or getting into better shape. This is the #1 mistake of those I'm-going-to-lose-weight-for-my-wedding diets. Sure, you might look fantastic in wedding photos, but it will come back unless you are willing to change FOREVER. That's the part about nutrition that I'm not sure about. I'm going to have to give up massive cheese consumption - FOREVER? OMG.

This next week, I will incorporate as much plyos into my routine as possible and practice what I learned today. I will also eat massive amounts of cheese until someone tells me not to. :)

My Exercise Physiologist says I'm just fine.

2011-02-09T18:45:00.000-08:00

You may remember a few years ago when I had my BMI measured and I was considered "fair." Well I had a licensed, degreed professional tell me that those doctors/trainers/people are idiots. Her exact words. *Holding up arms in a victory sign*

My EP, Kolleen, told me that between 19 and 25 percent is a healthy amount of body fat for women. Women working on strength training or muscle slenderizing can go all the way down to 12%, but not lower than 12% - those are the scary muscle women with veins popping about. I have 20.7% body fat, which is in the recommended range. Thank you very much. I'd like to see if I can lose 1% body fat.

I asked my EP about calorie counting. Recently I've been tracking my calories online and I'm over the allotted 1,200-1,500 calories like, everyday. She told me I don't have a weight problem, and I don't need to count calories. (See why I like this woman?) I'm not going to count calories, but work for every single one. I'm also going to try and not over-eat.

I've signed up for 5 sessions with a personal trainer. I will learn something new - my sessions start next Tuesday.

Vacation Recommendation

2011-02-04T17:50:00.001-08:00

0 snow (Sorry everyone else. It's warm here.)
1 lazy day
1 day of grazing instead of eating
6 miles run

It was suggested by my uberboss (the boss of my boss) that I might need a vacation. I agree.
Boyfriend is feeling better, which is a great thing because we are leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow. I am not really a Vegas person. I lived there for 9 months. It sucked. During my online dating days, I would purposely go through profiles of men who posted pictures of themselves in Vegas - striped shirt, holding a cocktail, standing with blacked out buddies or smudged out women in party dresses. I think this helped me avoid some serious douchebags.

Anyhoo. . . I digress. . .

I will admit Las Vegas is a pretty fun place to go as a tourist though. This trip will also be the first time boyfriend and I have flown anywhere in an airplane together. I'm hoping for 4 fun days of eating, drinking (responsibly of course), and probably not exercising (unless strutting around in heals counts). Good thing I got that 6-miler out of the way today. Looking forward to starting over the exercise regimen next week.

See you in a week!

Maintenance

2011-02-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

1 lifestyle coaching scheduled
1 sick boyfriend
1 spin class
1 fond memory

And now I recall getting my butt kicked by people 20 years older than me.

I went back to my favorite spin class for the first time in about 8 months last night. Mark, the instructor, works out harder than anyone else, and leads the class with a series of quarter, half and full turns on the bike. I find this much more effective (and difficult) than "you are going up a hill," or "you are now on a flat road" imho. I've decided most beginners, like me, have no clue what a real hill or flat road feel like, really. It's also better to know what you are *supposed* to be feeling, and adjusting (backing off) as necessary instead of taking it easy.

A year ago, after kicking ass in his spin class for a couple of weeks, Mark asked if I'd like to join a group of classmates on a real bike ride - the "Saturday Casual Coffee Caravan (CCC ride)." I loaded my road bike into the car and headed to south San Jose for what I thought was a 25 mile bike ride to Morgan Hill and back, with a coffee stop between. Sounds good, right? I mean - these people are 15-20 years older than me. I'm super fit and awesome! . . .

My first realization was that pumping your legs at 16 MPH on a bike is anything but "casual" to a non-rider. But, everyone in the group was super supportive, and all told me I was doing great. On the way back to San Jose, they decided I could handle a monstrous hill affectionately called "The Wall" which I totally (but slowly) nailed.

Like a child I asked, "Are we there yet?"

Unfortunately it was the final 14 miles after The Wall that totally kicked my ass. I had been beaten by a group of 45-50 year-olds. These people were lean, mean, bike riding machines and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. What is their secret? I think growing up is the ability to maintain, especially while pedaling slowly up a hill. Then being able to pedal some more after your ass is thoroughly kicked.

I'm not ready to go back on a CCC ride yet. At least spin class was fun.

Day 1

2011-02-01T20:50:00.000-08:00

1 Starbucks low-fat Greek yoghurt
1 coffee
1 close-call nervous breakdown
1 burrito
3 miles ran
30 minutes core workout
131.5 pounds

It's been a better week. The close-call nervous breakdown of today was not the total-complete flip out of last week, when I realized that I'm sick of working in ho-hum mediocrity, and I'm better than this. So, there are about 30 resumes and cover letters out there with my name on it, which was accomplished in 2 days. Yes. 30 in 3 days.

Unknowing if I can keep up with the 10-resume-a-day pace for very long, I've decided to focus on personal fitness research because exercise is the only thing that makes me feel accomplished and normal. The interesting thing about research is that the author typically starts out wanting to learn more about one topic - in this case personal fitness - then the research turns out to be about something else completely. The author can not be stuck to a certain topic; the author must be able to go back and re-write, and re-hypothesize. This may begin research on my exercise habits, and end up a story about finding a lost relative, or meeting Kanye West. I'm open to change.

Since I'm a fan of researching theories dealing with life and exercise, I've come up with a few hypothesis:

Hypothesis #1: If I can set a personal half marathon record at my heaviest weight ever, then using exercise to accomplish a better looking body is a better choice. Being good-looking is really all that matters in society anyway. Clearly it didn't work when I tried to break a personal record and look better in the process. If I exercise to look better, maybe I'll set another personal record.

Hypothesis #2: If I can't figure out what the hell I'm doing in many aspects of my life, then it is time to seek professional help. I'm taking advantage of the free lifestyle coaching, fitness consultation, and free personal training session at my gym. Maybe by the end of this adventure I'll be seeing a psychologist too. I'm starting out small.

Hypothesis #3: There is no better time than the present to begin a new adventure. I'm beginning this "new" research on a Tuesday, and only 4 days before I go to Las Vegas. The next 4 days of exercise will be completely ruined by steak dinners, wine drinking, and Superbowl snacks. Then I'll have to start over again. But that's ok. When you're ready - you're ready.

I Can't Cook Too

2010-02-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

Grandma: "Well, how are you going to take care of your husband if you can't cook?"
Me: "I'm going to marry a chef."

You know what's funny? I have never dated a chef - ever. Maybe it's because chefs won't date people who don't know how to cut an onion. I mean, really. Cutting an onion the *right* way? What difference does it make?

This weekend I attempted brunch for my birthday boy, and totally screwed up eggs. I had this brilliant idea to make fried potatoes with onion and bell pepper, then stir the eggs in. The scrambled egg just sopped up grease from the fried stuff, and it just looked disgusting. Luckily, I had bread a cheese, fruit, pre-made cinnamon rolls and mimosas.... because maybe if he drank enough champagne, he wouldn't notice. Well, I noticed! (And he laughed at me, in a nice way... kind of.)

My inability to cook well is somewhat a lack for trying, a lack of knowledge, and a lack of pleasure. Here are my top ten reasons I can't cook:

10.) My mother was a working woman who made 30 minute meals, which mostly included things out of a box or can. i.e. Chef Boyardee lasagne mix, salmon out of a can, instant rice, and tacos. I make all of these things very well.

9.) Not to blame everything on my mother: My father was a spoiled only-child who's mother cooked every meal for him, so he never learned to cook either.

8.) I was not raised to think that certain things were "womans work" or "men's work." I am pretty good at hanging pictures, washing the car, and mowing the lawn. These talents are not to be discounted.

7.) I work out in the afternoon, so when I get home I'm STARVING. I'm not going to read a cookbook when my stomach is screaming, "Feed me, Seymour!"

6.) The Bay Area has ridiculously good restaurants. If I was still living in the midwest, maybe I'd be Cat Cora by now. Cookin' up all kinds of jello salad n' such.

5.) The Bay Area has diverse ethnic cuisine, which I love! It's an art, and there is no way I cook Vietnamese or Italian food better than a Vietnamese or Italian chef (or someone who has studied cuisine.)

4.) Geez, I'm cooking for myself here . . . What's the fun in that?

3.) If I learned to cook, would I be expected to bake too? Awwww, shucks.

2.) If we're supposed to make things from scratch, then why is there all of this yummy frozen stuff! They even make organic frozen stuff!

1.) I don't like doing anything I'm not good at. Bottom line. I probably received some feedback in my childhood that told me just to give up, and that I wasn't any good at cooking, so I never really tried.

The moral to this story: Teach your children how to cook - all of them - male, female, scholar, athlete . . . and encourage them. When you are old, you might not be moblie enough to go out to restaurants, or maybe Meals on Wheels will lose funding. THEN, who is going to cook for you? The children are our future. It also might help them a make brunch for a friend, or marry a nice chef.

Treat your children well.

Cowboy take me away . . .

2010-02-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

I picked up a Time Magazine while waiting on my to-go order today, and scanned an article about grass fed cows.

The short story is: Eating grass fed meat and promoting grass fed animals is better for the environment and the cow. The grains that feed most cows must be transported to the ranches (if you want to call them that), causing CO2 emissions. Then the cows are lumped together in a mounds of poo, which again, causes CO2 emissions. When cows are eating off of the land, the CO2 is more healthfully spread out, and well, if you were a cow, you wouldn't want to live with a bunch of poo either, RIGHT?

Oh, but I'm not here to talk about meat. I'm interested in cowboys! Read on!

Cowboys were ranchers, responsible for cows, who would travel the fields by horseback to care for the animals. Kind of like a shepherd for sheep. Ok, so real cowboys went out in the late 18-early 1900's when they found out that you can lump a bunch of cows together on a farm, feed them grains, and make them live in their own poo. What I find interesting is that the cowboy lifestyle persists in the country mainstream (is that an oxymoron?). Basically anyone who is "cool" in the country is or wants to be a cowboy.

I disagree with this. You-who-thinks-you-are-a-cowboy, you are a farmer or a rancher or in the rodeo. You ain't no cowboy. Pardon my, er, country English. There hasn't been a need for cowboys much since humans began mass-produding beef on cattle lots.

So, by going back to the root of animal feeding and feeding out animals---more like God intended -- won't that also bring back legitimate cowboys again? Furthermore, shouldn't that make country people excited about eating better meat?

It's time to start eating grass fed beef. Not because it is better for the animals, or the environment, but because people will become cowboys again, thus living out their dreams.

This random musing brought to you by Beef. It's what's for dinner.

A Great Weekend and Half Marathon

2008-10-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

Since my buddy Saba blogged about it, I thought I would give another running perspective from my Silicon Valley Half Marathon experience. High school buddy, Alison, flew in from Iowa to join in the experience. I was super glad to have two of my best girlfriends (and one of their fantastic hubbies) there on an excellent day. YAY! As the two of you who read my blog know, this was my second 13.1 mile race. The first I ran in Iowa with Alison in June.

It was very interesting starting out in the dark at 7:00 am. Unfortunately they didn't find someone to sing the national anthem and blared the over-played Whitney Houston one from the loud speaker. I even know the race organizer, but didn't think that they wouldn't find a suitable high school student, otherwise, I would have offered my services or the services of another find Silicon Valley musician or musicians. (He's getting an email from me.)

I was amazed that I wasn't having my usual ankle/shin-splint trouble during the first 4 miles, like I usually do. When I got to Willow Glen without pain, I got pretty excited that maybe those "sportlegs" pills I took did the trick. It could have also been the stretching, but I'm not sure.

Like Saba, I was thrilled to run on the Los Gatos Creek Trail (WORD to the LGCT!) because it's also my usual training grounds. It was fantastic to know exactly how many miles I had until such-n-such a landmark. I try to people watch when running because it makes the time go faster. There was a girl dressed up like a banana, and another with her butt completely hanging out of her spandex running shorts. I decided I felt pretty good, so I passed banana girl and butt crack girl. (If someone's butt crack isn't enough to make you want to speed up or slow down, I don't know what is.)

I saw SaBa's hubby and the CoDo at Campbell Park. I was very excited to see them!

I was already aware of the first, short, but very steep hill on the trail. As we got to the hill I clapped my hands and shouted, "Yes! I love this hill." I looked behind me briefly to see that others had a look of pain (or perhaps disgust) at this comment, and I felt a little silly about it, but I trudged on. It's not the hills I mind so much as finishing the hill. There is that slowing down period after the hill where you are catching your breath that is really uncomfortable.

At Los Gatos Creek Park I noticed a couple of people using the port-o-potties and I was really glad that I didn't need to use them too. Onward! At mile 6 I felt like a champion and I thought to myself "I could keep up this pace for the next hour, no problem..."

I think mile 8, 9 and 10 were difficult for me because I pushed through 6 and 7, but now I wasn't feeling too hot. I honestly don't remember much from the Vasona dam until the end of the park except thinking that Christmas lights in green grass still looks really strange to me.

There was a really cute guy in blue shorts who I kept passing, then being passed by. It was a fun game, but he really started to take off after mile 10, and I thought, "Oh well, he's probably married," as he went by for the last time. I had a little day dream about us finishing together and it showing up in our finish line picture, but I didn't want to kill myself. He probably would have just been pissed if he was beat by a girl. I just let him win. (Ha ha ha I slay me.)

The bridge over 17 to Los Gatos High School almost ruined my knees. That was the worst surface of the entire race.

I enjoyed that they made you circle the track before heading to the finish line. Not only is the track a boingy, fantastic running surface, it also makes you kind of feel like a champion. This is also the place where the full marathon runners turn around, and I remembered thinking how glad I was that I didn't have to turn around and go back.

I would also like to compliment the announcer who said almost everyone's name at the finish line. That was special.

After the race I got to eat eggs benedict with two of my best girlfriends, and best girfriend hubby, and it was awesome. Here's to our next race, ladies!

Ho-Hum from an entertainment perspective

2008-10-01T10:33:00.001-07:00

I have lots of things going on, but none really great from an entertainment perspective, hence the month-long silence:

Work is in full swing, as is school and rehearsal. I decided to take a law class "just for fun" because I don't need it to graduate. I like it a ton. It's fun to use words like "precedent" and "tort" and learn about the "State Action Doctrine" and "Lemon Test." Maybe I should revisit the idea of a law profession, which is what I intended to do when moving back to California 5 years ago. The only thing that's really holding me back is money. . . anyone have $100,000 lying around. . . anyone . . . anyone?

This summer, I also thought about the idea of moving to Texas (Dallas) for a dual MA Arts Administration / MBA program. Then I received the brochure in the mail with a bunch of white people on the cover and decided it might be too much of a culture shock to move back to the middle states. Except Chicago. LOVE Chicago. The idea of working at a university in Chicago makes me overly giddy. To answer your question about weather: YES! Even in the snow and wind.

I'm not dating anyone, and I'm totally cool with that. Yeah, I look around, but no one really stands out except the standard "fall backs" like that guy who works across campus, the guy I dated 4 years ago, or the eliptical exerciser at my gym. Nothing to be taken seriously. Why create an in-flux relationship right now? That's just mean and just puts me on the same level as those guys who can 't decide what they want either. So, until my soul mate bangs into my cart at the grocery store . . . I'm staying clear of relationship land.

The importance of an athletic supporter

2008-08-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

Before you do Zumba, men-folk, please watch this video:

I'm a fan of men who will try dance moves. Just be careful to "pack it" before attempting this exercise.

Thank you.

An organic experience

2008-08-20T22:30:00.001-07:00

Although I'm not eating 100% organic anymore, but I have learned that organic options ROCK when available. Here are some of my favorites!

Veggies like bell peppers from the farmers market - They are organic and grown locally. Who cares if they are mis-shapen. The farmer's market is also a good excuse to get up on Sunday before 1:00.

Fruits like nectarines and blackberries from the farmer's market are also dee-lish!

Dairy products: Ok, Fage Greek yoghurt is NOT organic, but it is super tasty. I had a hard time finding an organic yoghurt that is tasty AND filling. I even tried organic soy yoghurt and all I have to say is.... yuck. I'm so glad I'm not lactose intolerant! Also, yummy organic string cheese is fantastic!

Frozen food: There IS organic frozen food, which is simple to make (this rice takes 3 minutes in the micro) and there's a lot of it out there, folks. Another favorite is Whole Foods' frozen organic ravioli!

If the shoe fits . . .

2008-08-20T22:27:00.001-07:00

. . . buy another pair.

Don't buy another brand. Stick with the ones that fit. Here's to another 300 miles!

Things I like, Things I find odd (Olympics Edition)

2008-08-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

(Because I'm due for a post.)

My favorite Olympic sport is track and field. I especially love the 200 meter dash, because so much can happen around the curve. It's awesome!

Speaking of the Olympics . . . I wonder why India doesn't have more athletes. With over a billion people, I thought there would be more than 57! As my Indian compadre said, "We are more brains than brawn." I guess so. No knocking a society that takes pride in intelligence.

I LOVE that McDonalds and Michelob are official sponsors of the Olympics!

While running today, I realized why I'm not crazy about small children. They make me nervous because they lack sense of direction. I should count the times in a week when I almost run into one somewhere: walking through my complex, at the grocery store, on the trail. I'm telling you, that could be an Olympic sport!

Has anyone noticed that the 30-40 year old women's age group at any race is the group to beat? Those women are crazy-tough. Perhaps after having children, your endurance goes through the roof! Maybe I'll change my mind and have a couple. Ok ... maybe not.

Does the Olympics increase an individuals motivation to exercise? I'm telling you. So far, it's working for me.

I like Asics 2130s. I recently bought a pair of Nike, thinking I would try something different, and it didn't work out for me. I got a shin splint in one leg, and horrible cramping on the left side of my left foot. Fortunately, I shop at a running specialty store, and they let me return the Nike's and go back to my old standards. Lesson learned: Stick with what you know. If it works, no need to change.

I like sports that adhere to internal human instincts i.e. running, boxing, climbing, weights. Participating in these sports could help you in the real world i.e. getting away from the bad guys, defending yourself, getting over a wall, lifting a heavy box . . . What does the elliptical train you for? Riding the world's smallest unicycle? Don't even get me started on synchronized diving.

Will people let Michael Phelps go home and rest, already!

2008-07-09T09:44:00.001-07:00

Last year I posted a blog about goals for my 29th year on this planet.

1.) Finish Grad School!

2.) Maintain 127 pounds and learn to swim.

3.) See Ravi Shankar in concert.

4.) Join the 21st century by purchasing a digital camera and an iPod.

And here's the follow-through:

I didn't graduate from Grad School, but I did start my thesis and plan to be completely finished by June 2009.

I've actually gained about 5 pounds due to an increase in weight lifting. I started lifting more after meeting with a trainer in January, and have worked weights into my routine. Everything seems pretty solid, so I'm not worried about the extra pounds. Besides, one should always take HEALTH into consideration NOT WEIGHT. Weight is a measurement of nothing. And, as we have seen, the B.M.I. measurement is a load of crap. Don't buy into it!

Unfortunately, I did not learn how to swim this year. Instead, I bought a bike. I say that equals everything out.

I saw Ravi and Anoushka in November. I'd love to see them again soon!

Because I intended to write this post, I finally figured out how to charge the digital camera my parents bought me for Christmas . . . this morning. See how writing can also be motivational? *ha*

I still have not purchased said iPod, because I'm not sure if I need one or not. Most people say they "can't go to the gym without it." But, I can motivate without it, so do it need it? It would be nice to be able to play better music around the house, though. But then you have to buy one of those iPod docks, and I just don't know if I have the motivation to buy another item that won't fit into my apartment. Maybe my parents will buy me a dock for Christmas, and I'll learn how to use it in July 2010. *HA*

Suziemusi's 29th Birthday

2008-07-01T16:39:00.001-07:00

I didn't have a huge Dora the Explorer cake or a jump house for my birthday. And good thing too... I wouldn't have remembered.
I got an ice cream cone with a candle in it, and that was good enough for me.

I love socializing, but I really don't like throwing parties. I actually put together a baby shower for a co-worker a couple of months ago, and was shocked by myself. So, maybe it would work for my own birthday - no, not decorating with duckies or buying gifts at Baby's R Us - I mean planning a 29th birthday for myself. Silly.

One problem is the activity. I have a pretty diverse group of friends, and sometimes a theme isn't as appealing to some as it is to others. Also finances is important. Some friends can afford a nice meal, and some can't. Then there is the whole thing where everyone feels like they have to pay for you, but YOU picked the restaurant and drank 2 bottles of wine. That's not really fair.

Then there is the issue of how to get a number of people to be at one place at one time. A restaurant would be a nice place for up to 10 people, but above that it becomes a zoo. A park would be nice, because there is lots of room, but August is HOT, people!

Part of me just wants to hide away on my birthday like I did last year. I went to a coastal resort and spent two days in nature - by myself. I went hiking and running, read a book, got a massage, ate nice meals. It made me feel like very Euro-independent, but it was admittedly pretty boring after the first day. Camping with a few friends could be fun. Alas, no camping equipment. *argh*

So, what to do:

#1. Dinner at Menara Moroccan Restaurant in San Jose. I just love sitting on the floor and eating with my hands! Entertainment is belly dancing! It's about 25 bucks a person, which includes a number of courses, and drinks would be extra. A few friends may opt out. I will pay something up front so I don't get my meal for free, because I don't think that's fair.

#2. Taking the weekend off to go camping somewhere. I would need to find friends with equipment.

#3. Go to a spa. This would be an activity for girlfriends, as I am not aware of any of my guy friends who like pedicures. Although, I think everyone needs a nice nail cleaning and foot rub every now and again... I'm not going to push it.

#4. Dinner at the new Hooters in Campbell. This could be hilarious as it is typically a place where men would celebrate their birthdays. Very non-traditional.

#5. Bowling, Bocce or Mini Golf. I would tend to put them in the following order 1-Bocce, 2-Bowling, 3-Mini Golf, only to avoid a large number of children. No, not that my friends are children! Again. Silly.

Anyone have a better idea?

I bought a bike

2008-06-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I started thinking about triathlons. Alas, there were two problems that would prevent me from training for this triathlon.

#1 I have no bike. #2 I've never swum further than the length of a pool...

Hmmm, major problems, especially since the whole meaning of "tri" is three athletic events in one and I can only do 1/3 of the events.

"But, biking is so expensive," I complained. So, I decided to try and find some swim lessons, but unfortunately summer was over before I completed, actually even started, my underwater mission. Isn't that just the way it goes? Procrastination at it's finest.

While in Iowa, I visited my friend, Alison, who is quite the cyclist, and asked her opinion about what kind of bike I should buy. First of all, it would be a fantastic option to be able to bike to work. 10 miles to work and back would be stellar exercise for one day and I would be saving the environment and my pocketbook. It would also be fun to bike the Los Gatos Creek Trail since it's very close to my house. Ride to Los Gatos, have lunch or a snack, and ride home... that's rad! So, I was thinking road bike.

Then I thought it would be fun to take the bike to Santa Cruz and ride along the beach trails, or eventually be able to take a climb up a rocky hill. Well, one needs a different type of bike for that - DAMN.

So, I decided if my first and second priorities would be road bike appropriate, I should definitely go for the sleeker, lighter variety. On Saturday, after 3 HOURS in the bike store, I bought this beauty...

I took it out on Sunday for the first time and am still getting used to gears, etc. But, it should be a good alternative to running as long as my butt can handle it. When, I say "butt" I mean just that... those small road bike seats are not particularly booty friendly. Yes, I bought a pair of padded shorts.

Biking is a step in the right direction. Maybe I'll eventually learn how to swim...

Fabulous Friday: Funnies

2008-06-20T13:59:00.001-07:00

Thanks to someecards.com

Marathon to Marathon

2008-06-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, my friend, Alison, told me she was interested in running a marathon. She has made reference to a few things she wants to "check off the list" before 30. I told her I really wasn't interested in training for a full marathon, but I would do a half. So, we conjured up a plan for me to come out to Iowa for a race, and she to return the visit and run a half here in California. Any excuse for a visit will do! Alison's best friend from college also signed up for the Marathon to Marathon and we've been periodically checking each other's progress, etc.

The big day was great! The morning temperature was about 56 degrees in Storm Lake, IA. At 6:00 am, we watched the start of the full marathon race in Storm Lake, then loaded on the bus to be dropped off (literally) on a country road in front of a farm house between Storm Lake and Marathon. At 7:00 am we were off! I decided to take my time for the first 6 miles - no need to try and "race" since I've only run 12 miles one other time. I was feeling mighty good after mile 6, so I got into a faster groove. Only after being gone for 9 years, could I finally appreciate the beautiful Iowa scenery:

If you don't like, um, "country smells," one might have not enjoyed it. But, I'm hard core. No poo smells or roadkill (which I saw at mile 9) would deter me from getting to the finish line!

We all got to the finish line before the first marathoner, which means WE DIDN'T GET LAPPED! YAY! We all finished around the 2 hour mark and were proud of our accomplishment. I want Helga to know that I really was the "fastest girl in San Jose" for this race. ;)

24 226 Suziemusi 28 Campbell, CA 1:56:50.02 (Ok, Campbell...)

I would like to thank our photographers, Bart and Munter, (Hubbies of fellow racers) for getting up with us at 4 am. (That's 2 am California time...) Here's to the Silicon Valley half marathon in October!

The state of Iowa

2008-06-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

My flight came over the western part of Iowa, the driest part of the state, into Des Moines. I could see displaced water from lakes and streams but, believe me, the whole state is not under water. Cedar Rapids and places along the Mississippi are total disaster areas. My grandmother lives in the old Burlington Hotel and she was evacuated on Sunday. Luckily they live on the 8th floor, so just as soon as they get the electricity and water running again, she'll be back home.

Initially they reported that the Mississippi River levels would not reach those of the flood of 1993, but they went even higher.

My friend Alison said she and her husband spent part of last Tuesday night in their basement the night that tornadoes came through western Iowa. I drove up Highway 71 from Carroll to Spencer, and shuttered when I passed the Little Sioux River, knowing that 4 Boy Scouts had died when a tornado ripped through their campsite. This happened about 30 miles down the Little Sioux River bed, closer to the border of Nebraska. But one could see the effects of a tornado just 2 miles south of Spencer, where another tornado plowed down a large structure (a shed, thank God, not a house) and once shady trees were reduced to stumps with a few jagged branches.

Have I ever been in a tornado? No. I've only seen them forming in the sky. If they were ever a threat, I was usually down in a basement. (I'm asked that all the time.)

Just wanted to give a report.

Fabulous Friday: Random Fabulousness

2008-05-31T00:04:00.001-07:00

Oh you thought I was finished being fabulous on Fridays... well, I'm not. So there. :)

I ran 12 miles for the first time on Memorial Day. I thought it was more like 9, but lo and behold, the map told me differently. I guess I was running for about 2 hours, so that would make sense. Every time I push it a little, my right ankle starts causing some shin splits, so I have to take it easier than I'd like for a couple of days afterwards. At least I know I'll finish a half marathon in 2 weeks! Woo!

Organic eating is still fun. I even tried to make my own pasta sauce tonight. It wasn't great, but it was an attempt at cooking, which is a huge feat for me.

A work fundraiser proved to be a good time, and I feel inspired to keep schmoozing for a living. I like people. People like me.

The next two weeks will be filled with thesis writing. I'm having some problems putting all of the information together. (Problem, I hear, most people have when going through this process.) After that - summer is here! I'm trying to convince a girlfriend that we need to go to Mexico in August. I need a vaca.

:)

Maybe men ARE more selective...

2008-05-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

Thank you to the San Jose Mercury News, and their annual "Best of Silicon Valley" reviews for providing a list of SV favorite restaurants, bars, and other hang outs.

Their survey included the "Best Place to Meet Men" and "Best Place to Meet Women" categories. Apparently the best place to meet men is Santana Row. Well, yes, there are a lot of men to meet there. Quality men? Hmmmm, not sure. Stripe shirts - definintely, but quality...An evening at SR definitely reflects the gender demographics of San Jose singles pretty well - 70% men. Unfortunately, Frys Electronics did not win, debunking some theories that say perhaps women want smart/geeky men. Apparently not so much. Supposedly we like the striped shirt. I'm going to nominate Frys next year, just for fun.

Who was the big winner for "Best Place to Meet Women." Get this!

Apparently it has gone out of business! "Winner has since closed; no clear runner-up" says the Merc.

Where is this mysterious place? AND, really? No close second? Perhaps it means men really DO have personalities and want to meet a variety of female-types. Perhaps they want to meet women at really unpopular establishments? But, do women really want to meet men at Santana Row? If you are a good-quality man, you'd better get there, because that's where women want to meet you! HURRY! Run. Don't walk. Don't not pass Go. Do not collect $200 dollars... although it might be useful if you're going to Santana Row.

Place to meet men

Readers' choice

Santana Row

400 S. Winchester Blvd., San Jose

http://www.santanarow.com/

Place to meet women

Readers' choice

Winner has since closed; no clear runner-up

May (in pictures)

2008-05-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

I ran Pat's Run again this year, albeit not as quickly as last year. My mojo is lacking right now, and I can't quite figure out why. My mileage is good, but I'm having issues with speed. (I can just hear Maverick right now "I feel the need, the need for speed." )Anyway, it was a lovely morning, and a very well-organized event. They found a high school anthem singer who actually sang in tune instead of hiring some "American Idol" wannabe. Very nice. It was a good day to wake up at 6:00 and exercise with friends, followed by the eating of a massively caloric breakfast. :)

I also ran the 15th Annual Human Race of Silicon Valley to raise $$ for Choral Project. Also, time was a little slower than last year, but I can't let that get me down. I somehow raised more money this year than last year, probably by guilt-tripping my friends into saving arts organizations. What can I say? They need saving!

Finally, I went to a 10 year college reunion, but it wasn't mine. I'm still proud to have gone to a state school for my undergrad. Although I don't think my university would have the cash for such an event, at least not with an open bar. Dang, I must have graduated with 10,000 other people! Anyway, I DID give to my department this year and attended their annual alumni and friends event where I was the youngest person there by at LEAST 30 years. Next year, I'm guilt-tripping my artist friends into going. :)

Don't be a (organic) hater!

2008-05-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

I know I've been a hater in the past. I've said thing like "A green pepper is a green pepper whether you buy it at Whole Foods or Smart and Final." I grew up in the Midwest where apples are the size of ping pong balls, there is only one kind of lettuce at the grocery store. Not a lot of produce going on there, except, of course, for corn, often sold out of a truck on the side of the road for $2 a dozen. (It might be more since the rise of corn-related-product use... i.e. corn syrup, ethanol.)

Anyhoo, after three weeks of eating (mostly) organic, I've realized that I am doing something good for myself. A few myths about organic eating have been busted since I decided to try it on for size. It might fit. Partially. Read on.

Preconceived notion #1: Organic eating is expensive.
Organic GROCERY SHOPPING is expensive. My grocery bills have grown substantially from about $40 a week to perhaps $80. Today a gallon of organic milk was $5.99, and two chicken breasts over $10. I'm buying a lot more fresh produce now, which means extra trips to the grocery store. Because I'm paying more, I'm wasting less - I'm eating dinner at home and taking leftovers to work for lunch. Eating out has decreased SUBSTANTIALLY. No more $4.99 Togos sandwiches or munching on mozzarella sticks at the pub.

Preconceived notion #2: Organic food rots faster.
Well, yes. Organic produce takes longer to get to the grocery store so it can be rather, um, ripe, when it gets there. But, there is a fun and fabulous way around this. FARMERS MARKET. A fresh head of lettuce picked on Sunday morning will last through Thursday. Woo! AND it's cheaper at the Farmer's Market. Woo Woo!

Preconceived notion #3: There is no organic frozen or boxed foods.
Lo and behold, I can still buy frozen peas, dried pasta, and canned sauces. This makes the busy lady very happy because there is STILL no way I'm going to find the time to let a homemade pasta sauce saute for five hours on the stove. I'm still buying that - premade.

Preconceived notion #4: It all tastes the same.
I still tend to think that organic food tastes the same as non-organic. You could fool me in a blind taste test. Perhaps it's acquired? Dunno.

Preconceived notion #5: I'm going to starve to death.
My life is still in tact, as I'm sure you've guessed. I've definitely been eating less because I think I spend so much time preparing what I'm going to eat, and only buy exactly what I need. I'm not buying snack foods. Organic snack food still kind of freaks me out. Maybe I'll give it a whirl at some point.

Preconceived notion #6: Eating organic is ALL THE TIME.
This is so false, at least for me. I have to go out to eat without being picky, or people would stop hanging out with me. Can you imagine asking the bartender for "Organic Martini, straight up with two organic olives." I think he would die laughing. I'm not going to give up social occassions, like a BBQs, and I'm going to eat hotdogs at a ballgame. I like my friends. I'd like to keep them around. I'd also like to keep my local taqueria and Papa Johns in business, because I like them too. My manfriend likes to cook, and he should be able to cook what he wants. So, when he invites me over, it's on non-organic terms. :)

So, my opinions of organic eating have changed somewhat. Deep down I realize that putting chemicals in the soil is not a good idea, and that pumping animals full of steroids is eventually going to come back to haunt us. I don't support that animals are equal to human beings. (I'm definitely not interested in being a vegetarian.) But, I do believe that, when we treat our food well, we are also treating ourselves well in the long run. Good karma feels pretty good.

Fabulous Friday: Food, Fat and Fast

2008-04-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

A note about food.

The organic diet is going pretty well so far. I can not decipher a difference in taste between food grown with pesticides and food that is organically grown. (With the exception to the organic beef I bought, which was a LOT less fatty than usual.) The only thing I notice is that the organic stuff rots faster (er, I'm sorry) is fresher, and it really limits what one is able to buy at the grocery store. Tummy is getting smaller, but I'm attributing this to eating out less, and to actually having to THINK about what I'm putting in my mouth. Of course, I can't eat organic all the time. Towards the end of the week, I end up going to out lunch with colleagues or don't have time to make lunch for the next day, so I find something healthy, but non-organic to eat.

Today, the restaurant at work is hosting a TGIF appetizer reception, and I'm going to eat some fried stuff. So THERE!

A note about fat.

So, why is tummy feeling more solid lately? Well, it could be eating, but it could be running. I do realize, however, that tummy will never look the same as it did when I was 22, no matter how many new core exercises I do or how many miles I run. Tummy is gearing up to be 30... I'll have to live with it. Has anyone else noticed that they are producing extra skin? What's up with that? I'm starting to feel like Rubber Woman.

A note about fast.

Running 4 miles is not a problem, and I can actually start working on some speed again. Just in time, too. Next weekend is Pat's Run (4.2 miles). So, I will spend next week working up to 6 miles, which will be just in time for the Human Race 10K.

My printer

2008-04-16T22:35:00.000-07:00

At work today, my printer kept eating 11''x 17'' recycled white paper.

I yelled, "LOOK! My PRINTER is HUNGRY TOO!"

...And it's only been four days of organic eating...

Fabulous Friday (On Monday)

2008-04-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm late. Halt die Klappe! (German, for "Shut your Yapper!");)

Seems things are getting back on "trek." I did my first 5 mile run in months last week. Woo hoo! I'm up to about 16 miles in a week... so, now I only have to work up to 13 miles in a few hours.. um, in June. Ok, I have a lot to do. The June half-marathon will be a "trial" run at best, and will hopefully motivate me to keep training for the Silicon Valley half next October. That's the plan, at least.

With all of my new exercise, including my new core and free-weight workouts, you'd think my belly would be looking good. Well, it's not. I've decided my body has finally hit the age at which it is impossible to bounce back. I spent almost a year of my life in a "drinking relationship" and it's done some damage. It's not just exercise anymore, I actually have to watch what I eat. *argh*

I never thought this day would come. *sniffle*

So, get this. I'm trying organic eating. Yes, the girl from the midwest is doing something very non-midwestern... but she's doing it for completely selfish reasons.

I will admit it. I'm only trying the organic thing for my own health, and not because of environmental, animal, economical, or local benefits. Totally selfish... I just want to look better and feel better. Sorry. In fact, eating organic is going to be extremely annoying, and I'm not guaranteeing that it will last.

Why I will lose tummy while eating organically:

1.) I will be running a lot more than usual in May and June and will have probably lost tummy fat anyway.

2.) Why is the food so small? Green pepper is so tiny, me hardly know it there...

3.) More organic food means less eating out, and less food options in general.

4.) Organic rots faster, so I will be hauling my ass to the grocery store at LEAST twice a week, thus burning more calories.

5.) Eating organically is expensive, and I will have no more money to do anything but utilize my gym membership.

6.) The things that people say about the benefits of organic food are true, and I prove myself wrong. (I hope it's this one...)

Foods/drinks I will continue to consume although they are NOT organic:

1.) Nice dinners or lunches out with friends or co-workers

2.) Coffee

3.) Vitamin Water (AKA Crack Water)

4.) Alcoholic beverages

5.) Foods when no organic option is available (When traveling to Iowa)

Hooters in Campbell!

2008-04-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

It's on it's way to Campbell, California! Woo hoo! Time for wings and those girls with the skin-colored tights. YAY! It's douchebag HEAVEN.

After living in Las Vegas, where girls applied at Hooters only if no where else in Sin City would take them, and where Buffalo Wild Wings are superior, the idea of a Hooters just seems classless. Honestly, it isn't the sexual innuendo that bothers me. I think it's the idea of another chain restaurant in Campbell - and a bad one, at that. I've decided that a Red Lobster or an Olive Garden in Campbell would be equally as heartbreaking.

Worst-case scenario:

Men flock to Hooters to check out the waitresses, eat wings, and drink beer. Men of Campbell become greasy and fat, thus lessening the number of quality single men who used to frequent other establishments in the downtown area. Campbell men are not the only one's intrigued - Hooter's also attracts douchbags from all over the South Bay, and beyond. Then these D.B.s make their way to lovely downtown Campbell or Los Gatos to infiltrate the normal citizens who just want to have a D.B. free evening of pub fun.

Best-case scenario:

D.B.s from all over the South Bay frequent Hooters, and do not venture downtown, thus weeding out the D.B.s from the nice, sensible fellows who are acceptable to date.

Probable scenario:

Men, D.B. or not, will flock to Hooters, but the novelty will eventually wear off. At least it's not in the downtown area.

Smut T.V.

2008-03-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

I've never been much of a T.V. fan. Oh sure, as a kid I used to watch family and teenage sitcoms over and over again (ahem, Saved by the Bell), but I've been out of the T.V. scene since beginning college. I didn't have cable in my first apartment, and found out that Lady Diana died about 2 weeks after it happened. (Shamefu.)Late into college, I decided that reading the newspaper was pretty important to stay in touch with the world, but I never resorted to reading about Hollywood magazines. I will still pick up a People or fashion magazine when I'm at a doctor's office or at the salon. I'm the girl who realizes that Hollywood peeps were married by the time they are getting a divorce.

When reality T.V. first came on the scene, I was highly unimpressed. It's fake. I can tell. I tried watching The Real World, and it didn't do much for me. Sure, if you lock a bunch of people who are totally different in an apartment and put cameras on them, duh, of course they are going to act like morons. Also, Survivor never did it for me either. Unfortunately it's my mom's favorite show, so she has to give me the low-down when I'm on the phone with her. I try to move her on to another topic, but the woman just won't stop. I love her.

Roommate has brought cable access back into my life, and I'll admit, I've been watching some smut T.V. But, there is a platform of reality T.V. that I enjoy, and others I won't touch.

Project Runway and Top Chef put the best of the best up against each other to take the top prize. Come on! It's cool. Going to New York Fashion Week or having a show on the Food Network are pretty cool prizes.

What's not cool are the shows that take amatures, teach them a few marketable skills and lead people to believe that they have talent. There is a huge big difference between people who are artists, who have practiced, studied a craft, and people who can fake their way through it. American Idol - not a fan. Dancing with the Stars - not a fan. Coaching people to sing a couple of songs well, or to learn a couple of dance moves doesn't make someone an artist. I'm not impressed.

*NEWS FLASH* Letting America decide is NOT a good idea. Most Americans don't know what's good anyway.

*NEWS FLASH* Kelly Clarkson sings flat. If you can't tell - please stop texting in your American Idol vote.

Thank you for listening. :)

Fabulous Friday - (Half) Marathon Madness

2008-03-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

I took two weeks off to write papers and be stressed out, but I'm back running again. This week so far = about 14 miles since Sunday. Not bad. I'm loving "spring forward!" Tuesday I went to my local track and ran after work, and yesterday I did a 5-miler out on the trail again. I love the sunshine after 6:30 pm, even when partly cloudy and a chance of rain. Freakin' rules. Cutting winter hours short (oh, and my tax refund!) was the best thing Mr. President has done for me. Thank you, George!

Not only have I decided to travel to the homeland (Iowa) for the Marathon to Marathon - my Iowa buddy, Alison, is going to travel out here for the Silicon Valley Marathon in October! Woot! Now I'm training for TWO halfers. Alison and I haven't run together since high school, so it will be very interesting to see, now that we are nearing 30, who's in better shape. HA! (We were always a little competitive.)

Sorry so short. I'm a busy lady.

Why didn't I think of that?

2008-02-27T12:34:00.000-08:00

Las Vegas has become smarter (yet, somehow dumber) over the last 10 years.

It wasn't too long ago, they started marketing Vegas as "family friendly," attempting to lure a younger crowd by offering theme parks, roller coaster rides and more child friendly hotels. I think parents were smart enough to realize that Vegas is not family friendly, roller coasters shouldn't cost $16, furthermore why would they want to take their children to Vegas and ruin their Disneyland-for-adults-fantasy-land. Theme parks did not do so well. It was still chalk full of drunken "adults."

So, they started the "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas campaign" which has done quite well... It just proved the fact that Vegas is a fantasy world, allowing people to do what they would not do in their normal lives. I mean...let's not beat around the bush. Everyone who does not want to get laid, drink to death, or do drugs must really enjoy being around a plethora of people who are there for that exact purpose.

I know what you're thinking, "I don't want to do those things! I'm going to go to the shows, and go shopping, and hang out by the pool..." YOU may want to partake of those activities, but there are a LARGE portion of people who go to Las Vegas every year who just aspire, almost completely, to go somewhere were they can act like...

A DOUCHE BAG.

I hate to burst your bubble. They are in Vegas, and they are like finely-dressed cockroaches.

Fellow SJSU'er, Mike Oz, who writes for the Fresno Bee, alerted me to Las Vegas' newest ad campaign.. proving that the city would not exist without douche bags. Check out this link at Vegas.com.

Two of my "favorite" things have come together at last. I'm so tired of people telling me how they LOVE Las Vegas, how it's so much FUN, etc. F@#$ing give me a break. I don't know how you could enjoy hanging out with so many douche bags. At least Vegas is ready to step up and tell it like it is. I only wish I would have spoken out sooner, and perhaps I could have helped put this marketing ad together. If we're going to tell it how it is, perhaps we should start marketing to drug dealers or wife beaters as well. God knows there are plenty of those in Vegas too.

Distaste for Victoria's Secret

2008-02-14T15:18:00.000-08:00

I recently bought $100 worth of cotton undies from VS and went through a terrific time of getting through the line and dealing with teenagers buying scandalous lingerie. Horrifying!

This morning, I was very disturbed to realize that my new VS Cotton bikinis have "butt words" on them. You know what I'm talking about - "Butt words" as made famous by Bebe and Juicy Couture. I didn't think to look on the back of them. Now my butt has the words "Wish you Were Here" written on it. It's just wrong on so many levels.

I'm a fan of Pink Floyd and all, but this is ridiculous.

I wish VS would get rid of their PINK line. It disturbs me greatly. First of all, WHY THE DOGS? I like animals, but I don't want them on my undies. Also.. what's up with the random numbers? What is 86? I'm telling you, the girls I saw shopping in that section were born at LEAST 4-5 years AFTER 1986. I think, in order to wear something that says 86, the company should tell you why that number is there, furthermore if it is a year, you should be able to remember the year 1986.

Secondly, if they are going to keep the PINK line, I think they need to keep it separated in another area of the store, and not let it creep into the good ole' VS Cotton line where all of my panties come from. Let's keep "butt words" all in one area, shall we, and keep them away from unsuspecting consumers who just want some plain cotton bikinis.

Fabulous Fried(day) II: Readying for Races

2008-02-08T15:21:00.000-08:00

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It's been one of those weeks. I had to leave work in the middle of the afternoon yesterday in order to keep my cool... so it was decided that a run was in order. I couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to be out in the sunshine in a t-shirt. YAY SUN! I went back to work, and it was still a disaster, but I would have freaked out on somebody had I not left for an hour.

So, I've been thinking about which races to run this year, once my ass gets into shape. A friend from Iowa picked a half marathon we could both do in June, and promised to come out to Cali to participate in a half sometime later this fall. Need to find a good one. I'm thinking maybe Napa...

Here are my current races for the year (more added soon):
Pat's Run San Jose, May 3
Human Race, Silicon Valley, May 10
Marathon to Marathon, Storm Lake (IA), June 14

Also, in honor of cousin Mike, I'm participating in the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's Great Strides Walk. This time, I'm going to Tulsa to walk with my family.

Civic Duty

2008-02-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

I participated in the democratic process on my way into work, and have been giddy all day. I'm not one to start political debates online, so I won't tell you my choice for the Democratic... or Republican.... Presidential nomination. He he he

Today I was assisted by a nice, older church-going man who acted as if slipping my ballot into the ballot box was a magic trick. Made my day. I don't know if I want to vote my mail because volunteers at the polling stations are so freakin' cute.

The only not-good part of the voting process was deciding what to do about the Indian Gaming Propositions. I've been torn. I really don't want to vote for either. I don't feel comfortable making decisions about horrible gambling, or about indigenous people who were practically (What am I saying? Practically? Almost completely!)wiped out by settlers. During the Super Bowl there were commercials both for, and against, these gaming props. HELLO!!!!! Aren't they fighting over where the money should go? Schools? Indians? California?.... Why are they spending money on bazillion dollar Super Bowl airtime!? WHY!?

Fabulous Fried(day)

2008-02-01T14:41:00.000-08:00

I'm pooped. So, I give you, a picture of a sleepy monkey.

Fabulous (Wet) Friday

2008-01-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry that I have not posted a picture of my belly. Truth be told - I haven't bought a charger for the new digital camera. My belly was looking pretty flat last week, but this week has made is quite challenging to get to the gym. So, technically, you didn't miss anything. :)

Yours truly is a full-time student this quarter. Yes. She is insane. Because of a rainstorm 3 weeks ago, a 6-hour day of class was cancelled and rescheduled. This weekend I have class on both Saturday AND Sunday to make up for it. Unfortunately the weather isn't looking too great now either.... I don't care how bad California drivers are! Everyone had better get their asses to class so we can get this over with!

Current Fabulousness
1.) 2 new fabulous pairs of shoes (flats!)from Bluefly.com... new favorite shopping website.
2.) 1 fabulous trainer who has taught me a million new things to do at the gym so I don't get bored.
3.) 1 fabulous male with which I have been having a great time with over the past couple of weeks.
4.) 2 more fabulous months until I get a break, then start writing my Master's thesis.

Fabulous Friday: Date-O-Rama

2008-01-11T15:30:00.000-08:00

This, being the busiest week of the new quarter with work and class, I also put in the time to meet some new people. I will have had 5, yes FIVE, dates this week with 5, yes FIVE different people. I know, insanity. I figured, "Why the hell not?"

Tuesday morning, I woke up worried that the perpetual dating was ruining my karma, especially since the guy typically pays for the date. So, I offered to pay for a few things, just so the Indian God's aren't too mad at me and think I'm getting a free meal. Not what I'm going for. There is only one person I'm interested in seeing again. Someone asked me recently if I was picky. Well, yes. I guess I am. I'm also friends with a lot of men, so it takes more for me to get really excited about dating because I have so many good men in my life.

The eating and wine drinking this week is honestly killing me. I've decided serial dating is bad for my health and will stop very soon.

On top of eating and drinking, I'm still upset and perplexed by the measurement of my B.M.I. which I'm sure we are all tired of hearing about. I'm meeting with a trainer tonight, and I'm going to let her kick my ass..."Oh yeah? Can an unfit person do THIS? Can an overweight person DO THAT?" I feel like I have something to prove - probably a positive.

Coming soon!! I picture of my belly! That's right. I'm going to do before and afters! It's crunch time!

Follow up to fatness

2008-01-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

Helga asks: "How on EARTH did the goon at 24 Hour Fitness determine that you were overweight? If you are overweight, then surely I am morbidly obese."

1.) Helga is tall and slender, and runs 10 miles a day. She is not morbidly obese. That's just ridiculous.

2.) My B.M.I. was calculated according to:

a.) My self-reported height of 5'4''
b.) My weight of 132 pounds (with clothes) taken at the gym
c.) A "fat pincher" measuring sample in tricep area.
d.) An additional pincher sample by left shoulder blade.
f.) Final pincher sample on side just above hip bone.

= 25% body fat

Apparently, I'm a fatty

2008-01-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Or, maybe not so apparent. I don't see the problem. I work out 3-5 days a week and can pump out a 10K pretty easily. I've gained about 5 pounds over the holidays... me and everyone else I can think of.

You can understand my astonishment when my body fat was calculated at 25% - "overweight" according to 24 Hour Fitness Body Mass Index standards. The trainer taking my measurements said I have an athletic build, putting me up a notch, possibly into the "fit" category. (Does this category exist, or does she know that I know that the assessment of my B.M.I. was B.S.) I went online today to confirm results. Somehow, the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute calculates that I am "normal."

Who shall I believe? A corporate gym who obviously wants my money, but saw me in person, or a national health organization and their quick online version?

The B.M.I. standards really irritate me. I don't think anyone knows what a body SHOULD look like or how much fat is acceptable. Somehow our society makes normal people feel overweight, but they tell overweight people that big is beautiful, etc. So, what ARE they trying to say?

I believe it should be about health. The B.M.I. assessment doesn't ask about daily habits, exercise, or health... it just tells you how "fat" you are. Have you seen a football linebacker? Those guys are huge, and I really don't think they should be considered "overweight" or "unfit."

So, if the 28 year old, 5' 4'' curvy woman who runs a 7:30 mile and works out 3-5 days a week was told she is on the verge of being "overweight" I would suggest you ignore that B.M.I. crap from the corporate gym, any US department of health, and especially those people on TV and live a healthy life according to what you want and you need.

Fabulous Friday Continues 2008

2008-01-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

Even a crappy Friday can be a fabulous one:

+ I'm back at work and classes start again next week. Me likes the busy times.

+ I've been working out a lot over the break, which is amazing dedication in my humble opinion.

+ I made an appointment with a trainer, who I hope will show me how to use the "man weights" so I can hang with the big boys. I'd also like some tummy exercises so I don't end up LOOKING like my father as well as ACTING just like him.

+ Obama won the Iowa Caucus. I know that doesn't mean he'll win a nomination (a la Howard Dean) but it makes me happy that Iowa isn't as conservative as I thought.

- Huckabee won the Iowa Caucus, proving that Iowans are as conservative as I thought.

- I hate the dating process. So much a process of elimination and confused people.

See, only two negatives! Life is fabulous.

Caucus, baby!

2008-01-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

Community: A Tale of 4 Friends

2008-01-02T14:39:00.000-08:00

I felt the need to add onto, or perhaps give a different perspective to Saba's latest post re: the desire for a community. I just had dinner with NoBo, one of my best girlfriends last night. Besides heartburn from Chinese food, we also had a heartfelt discussion about the past and anticipation for the future.

NoBo and my relationship is the product of college, when there used to be 4 girls who were very good friends. One by one each girl seemed to check off the boxes (sometimes a bit out of order), but we endured most things together: crushes, boyfriends, husbands... but suddenly babies came along and everything changed.

Long story short - Misunderstandings and rumors led to bad events, thus a couple of the girls began plucking friends off the vine as they saw fit. NoBo and I were both plucked. Neither of us have really understood why, but I figure it comes from the need for communal change. These "pluckers" have found a community with family and children, and apparently didn't feel that we fit their community criteria.

Unfortunately these events have greatly diminished MY sense of community. I've moved a lot, but I didn't realize that a community could leave YOU. I can't say there has been a crush or boyfriend in my life who has devastated me as much as these two girlfriends.

My community has greatly changed in two years. I currently tend to think of my community as all of my friends, acquaintances, and networking connections. As people become busy checking off all of life's boxes, we begin to see each other less and less. Each relationship is different than the other, and each fulfills a need that each person has. Although NoBo and I have checked off different boxes, we still make time to go out to dinner, have coffee, shop, or go to a concert together. We still fulfill a need that the other has.

This is true with all relationships. I think we tend to make time for those we need, and those who fulfill us and bless us in different ways.

I am also always in search for community involvement, but find that I often stretch myself thin in order to fulfill myself in a variety of ways. A personality profile says that I tend to hang on too long to relationships that I know should end. (This profile was in the context of romantic relationships, but it may be true for others.)

Maybe this means that my ex-girlfriends knew something that I didn't... Maybe in order to build a strong community, you need to get rid of those who don't match the criteria. I can't help but find that incredibly sad.

The Holiday rundown

2007-12-29T12:10:00.000-08:00

The Holiday gave me the opportunity to catch up on all of the things a girl needs in her life: a time to reflect on the happiness of being alive and healthy, time to catch up with family and friends, time to perform domestic duties, and time to go to the gym. All good things.

I spent Christmas Eve with roomie's grandparents, uncles and extended family in Concord. I LOVE meeting new people, and gaining insight into your friends lives by knowing those who have made that person who they truly are. It was a fantastic alternative to spending Christmas with my own family in snowy Iowa. I told M&D I would make it back out to the Midwest in the spring. I don't think they were too upset that I didn't travel this year.

Christmas Eve evening and Christmas Day day, I sang 2+3 catholic masses for a friend's church in Arethusa's neck of the woods. I didn't realize that the spanish midnight mass STARTED at midnight. (We protestants usually celebrate at 11pm, and are finished by 12am) And, yes, it was a spanish mass, which means, I had to dig deep within the International Phonetic Alphabet I learned 7 years ago and sing in a language I, mostly, do not understand. That was, um, interesting to say the least. The next morning we started at 7am, and after 3 masses, I CRASHED for most of Christmas Day.

I've also been going to the gym. Yep, I got a 24 Hour Fitness membership. 24 has everthing I need, and the price is right. It's a little busy, but if I get my ass out of bed in the morning, it will work out fine. More on that later.

Other than that, there has been lots of domestic duties performed including cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping.

Not the most exciting most. Sorry. Just been relaxing. How's everyone been?

Dating Client Ratings

2007-12-17T15:55:00.000-08:00

You know how EBay gives you the option to rate the seller? And Yelp allows people to rate restaurants, shops, etc...?

I think they should have this in the dating world as well... at least you'd know more about the person you are dating, or they would know more about you. You could start weeding out the dates with a 30% approval rating.

People would probably sign themselves up. Why not? There are all of those on Rateme.com who allow others to rate their attractiveness. Let's take that to the next level! Why not the option to rate how people act on dates as well? Honestly, I'd appreciate feedback, and maybe it would keep certain types away from me. As long as I got a chance to respond to their comments.

Ratings would also give me the chance to pass off a decent guy to another girl, for whom is is better suited. Hey, someones trash is another person's treasure!

Here I go! I'm going to YELP myself on a 1-10 scale.

6: Suziemusi was a nice girl, but I really wanted someone with fake tits.

7: I couldn't tell if Suziemusi was really making fun of me, or if she was just kidding. I didn't really get it. It made me nervous.

8: I took Suziemusi to a nice dinner and she ordered the sea bass with polenta. What is polenta? I'd like to take her out again. Perhaps this time we can just have a pizza.

2: Suziemusi called me and told me she really wasn't interested in me. Is it because I made her hold my hamburger and fries at the game when I went to the bathroom?

4: Er, uh, *Short term memory*

10: I'm in love with this girl. She is the sweetest, most beautifulest, perfectest thing ever. I think I just drooled. Sorry.

8: Suziemusi is really great, but her friends are like, so smart and stuff. It made me feel kind of stupid.

5: I would like her better if she didn't have so many guy friends. I mean, what? Guys and girls can't be platonic. No way. There always has to be sex involved. Always.

6: Oh, yeah. That girl was really cool. She doesn't smoke weed, though. Bummer. What was her name again?

6: She was okay. She sings in a choir, which means she has talent, but I'm looking for someone who has Dallas Cheerleader talent, if you know what I mean.

9: I don't have anything bad to say, I'm just afraid of commitment.

I'm Lovin' It

2007-12-13T12:34:00.000-08:00

I'm driving to work up Bascom Ave. this morning and a Jeep SUV is weaving in and out of 40 MPH traffic. The speed limit is 35, so you'd think traffic would be moving along speedily enough for this gas-guzzler. Oh no.. he had to drive faster.

Where was he going that was so monstrously important?

I'm in the furthest right lane (the slow lane) and suddenly I see him coming over. He cuts me off, slams on his breaks and turns into a McDonalds without using his signal.

I don't think I've ever seen someone in such a hurry for fast food.

Damn.

The Cul-de-sac Life

2007-12-11T12:03:00.000-08:00

I think this is currently my worst fear.

The whole idea of the "perfect life" bothers the crap out of me, mostly because I believe it doesn't exist. There are reasons:

Reason #1 I watched 4 hours of Housewives of the O.C. on Sunday. Their materialistic lives upset me greatly.

Reason #2 Upon asking my dinner date what kind of women he usually goes out with, he said, "Normal ones." That bothered me. Why would you want to be with anyone who is all-in-all "normal." Normal to me equals "boring." I might be too much for this guy. I don't think I'm drama, but I do need some attention and I don't consider myself at all to be "normal." Why is he dating me?

Reason #3 When visiting my cousin in the Dallas burbs last year, I was tormented at how every house looked exactly the same. The yards were perfectly manicured, everyone had some high-end car, they all dressed nicely. Everyone I met was "nice." I pointed this out to my cousin and she said, "Yeah, things aren't always what they seem." I'd prefer a great home on the inside, compared to a great home on the outside (if you get my drift).

Reason #4 The only couple I personally know who live in a cul-de-sac are 60-something couple, semi-retired. Their home is perfect inside and out, they like to have people over, and... they hate each other with the passion of two flames. They sleep in separate bedrooms, and have people over to distract them from their horrible relationship. Nice.

Reason #4 I looked up Cul-de-sac on Wikipedia. First of all, "cul-de-sac" literally means, "at the bottom of the sack." I agree. This lifestyle seems "bottom of the barrel" to me also.

I thought it also interesting:

Cul-de-sac is also used metaphorically to mean a line of thought or action which leads nowhere.

In military parlance, a cul-de-sac refers to a large encirclement of troops.

In anatomy the cul-de-sac is another name for the rectouterine pouch.

I'm going to remain a bachelorette forever, or until I find a nice, drama-free, alternative to the cul-de-sac life.

T.G. I'm Fabulous (Friday)

2007-12-07T17:23:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness I'm fabulous enough that I don't need to exercise for two weeks, and am currently letting myself eat anything in sight. Woo hoo. It'll just make life more challenging after all of the obsessive cheese eating and wine drinking is over. I like a challenge.

More later.

Fabulous Friday - Maintaining Fabulousness

2007-11-30T21:11:00.000-08:00

It's difficult, man. I haven't done any running since the Turkey Trot except a lame 10 minutes on a treadmill Tuesday morning. I figure I deserve a little laziness.

Also, I think a gym membership is essential. I just can't get excited about getting up early to work out at work with a bunch of skinny 18-20 year olds. I need some adults to keep me motivated. So, I got a 7 day pass to 24 Hour Fitness. I intend to get up early tommorrow (Saturday) and go to the gym. Time to get back into the game, folks.

The guy I've been dating is running a half marathon this weekend. So nice to talk about healthy habits with someone. He's even going to Vegas to run a race, and can't drink or be unhealthy to make it through 2 hours of running on Sunday. I appreciate that. Giving up partying for health. Like it.

Classes are almost over! I did a presentation on Monday, so next week I have to turn in two rather easy finals. After that, the Christmas parties begin. I will not over-consume cheese, I will not over-consume cheese, I will not over-consume cheese...

This weekend, there is a "Polar Jet." So, there are some freezing temperatures in California. It's about time people realize what actual "cold" feels like. San Jose - in the 50's. Hmmm, not really freezing, but I'm going to buy some fabulous sweaters anyway. :)

Finished paper writing so I can blog now

2007-11-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Writing a 15-pager about Chickering was somewhat exciting, but I'm even MORE excited to get this quarter over with. Saba pointed out that I missed a few fabulous Fridays. Guess they weren't too fabulous, but here's the run-down:

I wrote a paper. (Perhaps I mentioned that...)
I ran a lot.
I've been getting some shin-splints.
I ran the San Jose Turkey Trot 5 minutes slower than last year, but it was still fun.
I had Thanksgiving with one of my best friends and her family.
I went to dinner and hung out at a cheesy jazz bar with a guy I've been seeing.
I went wine tasting near Healdsburg with same guy.
I went to dinner and saw "Fred Clause" with above mentioned guy.
I kisses said "guy" and it was nice.

More to come later.

Moi

Sunday Random Thought

2007-11-11T15:36:00.000-08:00

If a man can be called a "stud" and a woman can be called a "muffin"... futhermore a strong man can be called a "stud muffin"...

Can I please be called a "muffin stud?"

It sure do Miss Daisy.

2007-11-10T12:28:00.001-08:00

I love "Driving Miss Daisy." Everytime Miss Daisy tells Hoke that he's her best friend, I cry. *smile* *sniff*

"I bet the Georgia power company is having a Merry Christmas."

I also like getting up at 10:30 and sitting on my ass watching movies on a Saturday afternoon.

Fabelhafte Fritag (Fabulous Friday)

2007-11-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

I miss German. I really do. They don't celebrate Christmas for 3 months in Germany. They also don't have pumpkin flavored stuff, but, as of today, neither does Starbucks. No more pumpkin spice latte, and it's still about 2 WEEKS until Thanksgiving. They do have peppermint stuff, though... Blech!

In the search for "what to do next" I started looking at Kulturmanagement programs in Deutschland today. I would have to take a year to brush up on my German, and the program only offers an M.A. but it would be interesting. Alas, I'm still on the hunt for the perfect culminating degree. Need to meet with my advisor. Right now it seems Chicago, D.C. or Philadelphia have programs I might be interested in.

Other than growing pains, I've finally gotten rid of pains from my new running shoes. My Asics 2120s are almost broken in. YAY! I've run 17 miles since last Friday, including a long 7-mile run on Sunday. Good Job for me!

Other than that, Mr. Hot Date is away in Jamaica for vacation. :( I have no other hot date perspectives except for Special K who thinks we should get together for drinks sometime.(hmmm)Oh, and creepy stalker ex-boyfriend from 4 years ago who tends to call me every 6 months to see what's up. There ain't nothin' up, dude. I ignore you now. Bu-bye.

Holiday fun, already.

2007-11-07T16:51:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you all figured out last year how much I LOVE the holiday season, especially celebrating early. And how much I think singing Christmas Carols about snow in California is appropriate. NOT!

So Wayne and Garth bring to you...

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged. (I got this from a co-worker. I thank him tremendously!)

1) Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And...........

5) Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are

6) Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us!

7) Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why

8) Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

10) Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

11) Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe

12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

13) Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

14) Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!

Ravi Rocks!

2007-11-05T15:40:00.000-08:00

After 4 years of "meaning-to-goes" or "just-missed-its", I finally saw Ravi Shankar and his daughter Anoushka Shankar Sunday night in Santa Cruz. It was Raga-tastic and Tala-rific. I was accompanied by my musically-savvy chica, NoeBoe, for an evening of transcendental, pentatonic vibrations. (Yes, we were drug-free for this experience.)

What a fantastic crowd; I have such an appreciation for Santa Cruzers! You had everything from the devout classical listener to the dread-locked hippie. They all nodded and applauded. There were three standing ovations: One for the entrance of Guru Shankar, one for a FABULOUS tabla solo, and a very LONG one at the end.

Ravi Shankar is 87! I had no idea how frail he was. He couldn't sit on the floor anymore, and needed people to bring him onstage. Then, low and behold, he started to play and you stopped worrying about him. Until you've seen an 87 year old man rock out on an instrument more difficult than a guitar (7 strings - HA!) you haven't seen anything. His daughter, Anoushka, also amazing, had a lot more dexterity than her father, but Ravi was definitely the one pushing the tonal and rhythmic limits for the entire group. I should also mention that Anoushka has quite a career ahead of her - she's really bringing a lot of sitar music into western classical and even pop music.

I was inspired. Very rarely do you see such competent musicians, let alone to see them work together spiritually, while, of course, rocking hard core on classical instruments. It was much more like watching a jazz combo than a classical group. I can't say as much for choral singers or orchestral players. (Very beautiful, but boring to watch indeed.)

Ravi and/or his daughter are in the Bay Area a couple times a year. I wouldn't call myself a "fan" of very much. But, I'd like to see the Shankars again next year.

Fabulous Friday - Frozen Pizza

2007-11-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a segment called "Fabulous Friday" in order to make myself accountable to my tens of blog readers (HA). If I start slacking off, you need to find me, call me, write me, email me, message me, and pull me out of the hole. There! Now I've made YOU accountable.

Let me remind you all of the fabulous things that my blogalicious friends have been doing lately: Arethusa, recently promoted; Helga, recently licensed; Saba, soon to be working one job; George, don't know but probably doing something fabulous.

As for me, I've run about 14 miles since last Friday (not bad), and have a Student Development project underway. I also have a hot date on Saturday. :)It's amazing that I don't feel a whole lot better this week than in less healthy weeks. The roommate tells me that stress causes fat because it's comforting to the body. Makes sense, I guess. I can't do anything at this point to take a few busy hours out of my day; all I can do is use the hours I have free to eat well, exercise, be well, and thrive. (Oh, crap, that was a Kaiser commercial!)

Sometimes I look to my Midwestern roots to make myself feel better. Every time I go home to the Midwest, it amazes me how inactive most people are. I am also appalled by the food choices. After last winter, I have eaten Kung Pao Shrimp for the LAST time in a Midwestern restaurant. Frozen shrimp - argh. Midwesterners live longer though - frozen food and all.

I will admit, though that I enjoy a frozen pizza from time to time, although these days it's usually the Trader Joe's variety. I can't help the frozen pizza eating. It's apparently in my blood.

Read fun article, Midwest: frozen pizza capital of the U.S.

Professional (Personal) Development

2007-11-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

I think one thing my employer does very well is incoporating HR professional development workshops into the workplace. Workshops are voluntary and free. Currently, I'm taking Business Writing. The instructor is an English Professor, and the students are staff members from all over campus: Student Life, Admissions, Development, Engineering, IT, and the Provost's Office. These workshops are not only informative, but also very good networking opportunities. LOVE THEM.

Another professional development workshop just caught my eye; I love when life events come full-circle or are tied to one another.

Tuesday, November 6 - Emotional Intelligence with (Name Here)

Which do you think is a more accurate predictor of life success: A
person's emotional intelligence or a person's IQ? If you are like most
of us, you'd probably guess that IQ-a person's mental intelligence-is
more important. However, you'd be surprised to learn that a person's
emotional intelligence is actually more closely tied to life success.
This workshop will explore:The powerful forces that can result in an
individual's success

The factors that are linked with emotional intelligence

Your personal emotional intelligence level

My MA coursework this fall has revolved around Student Development, and emotional intelligence is part of all of Chickering's vectors (Check out links at right). I've also been thinking about emotional intelligence with regard to relationships. Most recently, about my own emotional intelligence, and my former partner's emotional intelligence.

When parting ways, we (actually I) had a conversation about how much your college drinking (binging, drugs, etc) days lead into a poor development of emotional intelligence (further into other vectors such as "#4 Developing Mature Interpersonal Relationships")and drinking further into your 30's doesn't allow you to ever develop the emotional intelligence that normal people have. This is part of the problem with alcoholics.

I seriously had this conversation with Mr.IQ>150 when we parted ways.

I'll let you know how I score on the Emotional Intelligence quiz. I've never had an IQ test. (I'd love for Mr.IQ>150 to be able to come with me!)

Please drink responsibly. :)

Halloween - Booooo!

2007-10-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

No one wants to go with me to a Halloween party tonight -- too busy, too sick, too not-answering-emails-or-phone calls. I'm going to end up doing homework tonight.

Booooo!

I guess there are always the S.C.U.M.B.A.G.S. tomorrow night.

Halloween Fun

2007-10-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

I usually am not a big fan of holidays. Even Halloween. Two years ago I went to happy hour with a co-worker and didn't make it past 9:30 to attend a costumed celebration. Last year was a HUGE step up when I pulled out the ole' Junior year prom dress (happily I fill it out now... woot woo *whistle*), made a sash and went out in Los Gatos as Miss Idahoe (yes, with an "e"). Only the "Los Gatos Trophy Wives" could outdo me. Anyway, the girlfriend I was out with ended up persuading two out-of-town guys to hang out with us, and the night ended up with my saying, "Um, yeah, I'm tired. Why don't we take you guys back to your hotel."

I'm truly a mother hen.

So, this year I'm going to two, yes TWO Halloween celebrations and I'm going to have a good time if it kills me. The first party is a singles celebration on the peninsula, the second, a friendly bash with MBA students. WOOT! I'm also not going to join the ranks of slutty Halloween nurses, maids, devils or cats and think up an original costume. If I can't think of anything by Friday, well, Miss Idahoe deserves another reign? Dontcha think?

Miss Idahoe, from Iowa City, Ohio:
She's a much better public speaker than Miss Teen South Carolina.

The Adventures of Mr. Striped Shirt

2007-10-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

Yay! It's girls night out! My friend is celebrating as a single woman before she marries the most perfect guy ever! We decided to hit this club because one of the girls knows the D.J. - we have V.I.P. passes, free booze, and a safe limo drive home! We are having a good time.

Yeah, we're a little wild - It's a bachelorette party! We decided to all wear wigs! It's kind of silly, but we think we're cute. We'll have some good pictures to show our friends.

Let's hit the dance floor! Yeah this is the same kind of music they play at all of the clubs, but this seems to be a cool mix of people and we typically dance in a circle anyway. Besides, we've all had a few, and we're having fun! We like to shake our asses a little when we dance and sing along. There seems to be someone with bad breath and a striped shirt lurking in the shadows. Uh, oh, don't make eye contact, he's coming over...

Sure, we like to dance. Dancing is a part of our culture. We may be a little wild, but we are just having a good time. Suddenly we realize that there is a guy lurking behind. Our smiles turn to smirks as you creep over behind my friend. You are being pretty sly, there. Nice job. No one was giving you a come-hither stare... so why did you come over? My friend is engaged to a great guy, she didn't want to sleep with YOU... none of us want to sleep with you. Who is the maid of honor? Does it matter? She doesn't want to sleep with you either, and she especially doesn't want your junk on her leg. Don't be up in her grill, dude. It's "girls" night - get it? Punk.

Oh, I see. You wanted to grab on my friend. Well, she is not interested in you but doesn't know how to tell you to leave. She's barely dancing anymore. We are all laughing at you, but you are too drunk to notice. You give us all a glazed over stare and a smirk - yeah, you think you are the man.

Finally, one of us has to tell you to stop. But, why are you so upset? Don't call my friend names, she doesn't like that! OH, you say my friend is a lesbian. That's interesting. Just because she doesn't want to feel your junk near her butt, doesn't really make her a lesbian, now does it? If that's what will keep you away...yes, we are all lesbians. Go away. Please don't come back. Don't be talking trash about lesbians either, or I'll have to find one to kick your ass.

Oh, your friends don't really know what to do. They are neither helping nor hindering you. Some wing-men they are. You all go out, thinking you're going to be able to rub your junk on a bunch of girls because you are drunk and looking swave in your Banana Republic striped shirt. Yeah, not so.

How to spot "Mr. Stripped Shirt"
1.) He's in a group of other stripped shirts. They are like a herd of zebras.
4.) He is surrounded by women, or he surrounds women.. one of the two.
3.) He is the drunkest guy at the bar
4.) He is the loudest guy at the bar
5.) If you can't spot him at this point, you need to take off your beer goggles or something...

Be thurprithed at Fryths

2007-10-09T19:55:00.000-07:00

(Be surprised at Fry's) For those of you who aren't familiar with the large discount electronics chain - "Be surprised, at Frys" is the company slogan.

I was more in fear for my life at Frys. Admittedly I've only been to Frys 3-4 times - very hard to believe for many of you tech savvy people or even native Californians.

I really thought this time it would be different... it wasn't.

I'm sure you know that all Frys have a "theme." What is this place? Like Prom or something? Anyway my neighborhood Frys is supposed to look like the inside of King Tuts tomb. Very weird.

The sales people don't really "sell" anything, they just tell you where things are - Knowing this, I brought in a borrowed AC adaptor, found a friendly geek, ahem, sorry, salesperson, and said, "Where is this?"

He said, (pointing) "All along this wall."

That's it? No, "What kind do you have?" "Here are your options.." Nada. All I needed was a Dell AC adaptor for my notebook, and they only had this generic adaptor that costs the same as buying the Dell one online. I was disappointed.

The clientele at Frys is also disappointing. You'd think it would be chalk full of smart men. Not so. Or, perhaps smart, but living-with-your-mother kind of smart, if you get my drift. It's chalk full of, well, very interesting people. They also come completely solitary, or in inappropriately large groups. It's not just techie dudes, either. I saw a woman laughing hysterically in one of the aisles. Goodness! Is there really ANYTHING to laugh about at Frys?

As I was leaving, even the greeter guy had a slight lisp. "Thanths for sthoping in." He said.

Frys is really a stereotype. I feel like I should start taking my out-of-town visitors there to experience the real (totally stereotypical) Silicon Valley.

Come on, tech geeks! Let me hear your Frys stories!

Single-shmingle

2007-09-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

Upon telling my girlfriend K that I'm single again:

Me: I don't think I'm going to date anyone for while.
K: How long is awhile?
Me: I don't know. Maybe 6 months.
K: WHAT? Well don't keep that door completely shut.
Me: Nah, I'm just keeping the screen door closed so I don't let anymore bugs in.

If I lost my sense of humor, one could worry. Obviously, I'm fine. :)

Books I should write.

2007-09-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

85% of Americans think they have a book in them. Here are my book ideas. Since there is about a .5% chance that I'll actually write one, maybe someone else will about these nifty, important topics.

"You Pay for Drinking, Smoking and Sexual Activity: A Parent's Guide to College"
I don't like to lie to people, so why not tell parents what they are really paying for.

"The Dying Arts: Inspiration to Keep Them Alive"
Should include sections explaining why popular is not always art, and art is not always popular.

"Wooking Pa Nub In All Da Wong Places"
Buttwheat's guide to dating. I'm sure he doesn't know what he's doing either.

"Maryland Parkway, Las Vegas: A Novel"
A coming of age story about a girl trapped in the "real" Las Vegas.

"The Real America" Volume 1: Iowa, Volume 2: Illinois, Volume 3: Indiana, Volume 4: Michigan, Volume 5: Minnesota
An explanation is needed to those city-slickers who don't understand how Bush won the last election. It will also have a travel section, encouraging people to visit and, at the very least, see those "other people" for themselves.

"Weddimus: Weddings for the Rest of us."
How to plan your joyous, weddimus, filled with non-traditional fun. How to plan a wedding on $5,000. The joys of elopement. A section on making things easy (and not expensive) for your bridal party.

Where's Lloyd?

2007-09-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

I caught the last hour or so of the movie "Say Anything" tonight. I'd *gasp* never seen it before. I'm a fan of John Cusak - I think I've seen just about every other movie he's been in, but for some reason, this one has always passed me by.

I found it interesting that the girl's boyfriend ended up being more reliable than her stealing/lying father. An interesting premise. Or perhaps, because her father loved her so much, but upon his going to jail, she needed to quickly replace the man in her life. I have no idea who could possibly love me more than my own father - and I have no need to replace him. Perhaps having such a good relationship with both of my parents makes it more difficult to find someone who will take me as seriously as they have my entire life. Lloyd, even at his young age, takes people seriously.

There are plenty of things that my parents wouldn't do for me. Move to a foreign country - for one. The future man in my life.. yeah, it would be nice if I felt so inclined to take a job in England, Germany, or just Chicago. Of course, I would follow him too if the opportunity went the other way. Lloyd moved to England.

A serenade would also be nice. Lloyd has a very famous serenade in that movie.

Maybe I've missed out on Lloyd... perhaps Lloyd went to England and his girlfriend dumped him for a Brit. Now he is embittered and incapable of being with me. Perhaps Lloyd decided he didn't like England, or didn't like that his girlfriend's dad was a convict, so he doesn't want to put himself into a complicated position anymore. Perhaps Lloyd joined the English mafia (ha ha) and spent some time in jail or something.

The point is, is that Lloyd used to have feelings but they were somehow taken away. Now Lloyd has a good job somewhere, friends, security, but doesn't trust women. I don't know how this happened, but it's a tragedy. Poor Lloyd is probably in his 30's (ok, I know JK is more like 40) and he's confused.

So, you ask. What is a girl to do? Maybe I'll try and find an 18-year-old and treat him well so he doesn't become embittered. Maybe he would become embittered anyway, no matter how well I treated him. Unfortunately I don't like 18-year-olds (or 28 year olds for that matter) much. It's crossed my mind that I may be too old to find a Lloyd. At this point, I'd like someone with life experience to at least match mine. But, where are those non-embittered souls willing to not blame ALL women for ruining their lives, or being too scared that women will ruin their lives.

How did I get blamed for ruining men's lives? I mean. Really. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't make anyone move to England for me... My dad isn't in jail and I'm not looking for a male role model of some kind... It must have been that other girl.

Bitch.

Maybe Lloyd needs to get over it.

Lloyd is dead.

Fall Flip-Out

2007-09-14T13:15:00.000-07:00

Every summer I sit around, thinking a lot, wanting to do something more, but alas, no one else seems to want to do anything extraordinary. So, I sit, without complaint, driving myself insane and taking long lunch breaks. Strangely enough, it seems other in a similar job position to mine enjoy the summer - probably because they are happy doing nothing. That's just not the way I roll.

I believe in signs - whether they be from God or some other higher power. I think human beings have an awareness of when things aren't right, then follow signs to another path, thus leading them in another direction. Every summer I try to update my resume and do job searches because I find summer to be completely underwhelming.

Today I thought I saw a glimmer of light.

I think I have a great idea for my thesis, so I emailed my non-communicative advisor, and another professor for whom I have great respect (just in case my advisor doesn't respond). My thesis idea is pretty bomb-ass. My idea rolls into my career aspirations, and expands the role that I play at my job, and has future implications. My thesis will ensure that I don't have a boring summer next year.

Right after emailing my bomb-ass thesis idea, I receive and email that one of my classes has been canceled. My intention, of course, is to finish my MA this year, do or die! I won't survive another Summer of Mundane. I'm desperate! So, I started researching other programs online - even in Chicago, then in Washington D.C. "Damnit! I will finish! If they won't let me move on, I'll just move somewhere else and finish! No one will stop me!" I thought.

Yeah, I flipped out a little. It happens.

An hour later I receive a phone call from my advisor, who, for some reason has heard the situation and has read my emails to him and the department asking what I should do. Amazing.

The only option I have to satisfy the requirement for the canceled class and still finish at the end of 2008, is to take another class with "the teachers." I'll do anything - even take another class with people who need a step-by-step rubric.

So, the glimmer of light is to hold tight for another year before packing up and leaving for Chicago or Washington D.C. Perhaps the Bay Area will be able to keep me - it honestly won't be hard because I love it here.

But, I AM gearing up for a new adventure of some kind. I can feel it.

Back in the Day

2007-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

What is this expression, "Back in the Day?" I'm 28, so back in the day would refer to what? The 80's? I don't know if that was really "the day." It seems this expression is being used to often by people my age or younger to explain, perhaps, a simpler time. I think, however, we should wait until at least middle age, when we have children our age, until we have licence to use the term freely. Those younger than us don't understand, and those older than us, well, the expression is just ridiculous since they remember more than just the 80's.

I will retire use of this expression, but post a picture from a simpler time. Remember perms? Remember Pound Puppies? Oh yeah!

Thanks to my cousin for this fabu picture!

Don't forget the lyrics!

2007-09-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

Even sexy Wayne Brady couldn't keep my attention to watch this horrible TV game show, in which players must complete the lyrics to win. The player can choose from a number of categories including: Pop, American Favorites, The 60's, KC and the Sunshine Band, and their winnings duplicate as they sing lyrics correctly.

I will admit that I didn't know any of the lyrics to songs selected. I don't think people understand that while I was learning about modes, scales, augmented 6 chords, vocal phonation, and diction (p.s. these are musical terms), I wasn't sitting around memorizing popular song lyrics or names of popular bands.

"Oh well it's lady's night, and the feelin's right, oh well it's lady's night, oh what a night!" There are actually verses to that song! *shocked and amazed* Who knew? Apparently, a lot of people know... and they have the lyrics memorized too.

I hate the American Idol phenomenon. Anyone can sound good in a recording studio -- anyone. Technology is amazing. I don't think people know just how amazing it is. Also, why should we idolize singers only?

As a musician, I think I disappoint people with musical conversation. People are unhappy that I don't think The Dave Matthews Band is the greatest band of all time, or when I can't tell the difference between Hall & Oats and The Grateful Dead. We didn't learn these things in school. Sorry. I'm thinking more about band names when I listen to a song. People are even more thoroughly disappointed when name-drop the classical musician names that everyone knows (Mozart, Bach, Beethoven) and expect me to say they are great, but instead I pull out names like Wolf, Mendelssohn, and Crumb.

When I meet new people and I tell them I'm a musician, these are the items that most disappoint them:

1.) The Dave Matthew's Band (or Insert Band Name Here)is good, but I refuse to say they are the best band ever.

2.) Pavarotti was not a good singer during most of my lifetime. Classical singers lose their voices and technique around their 50s. It's sadly the process of aging. Pavarotti was 71. (God rest his soul.)

3.) I think Mozart is boring. Yes, he was amazing for producing thousands of pieces by the time of his 30-something death, but they all pretty much sound the same.

4.) Chant, much Choral repertoire, and anything by Barber (who wrote "Adagio for Strings" made popular by the movie Platoon) are actually not "classical" music. The classical era was approx. 1750-1810. Chant was part of the Medieval period, Bach (choral composer)was part of the Baroque period, and Barber died in the 90's.

5.) By the way, "Adagio for Strings" is not a "song" - songs have words. Orchestral "songs" are referred to as a "work" or a "piece."

6.) I don't memorize popular song lyrics or band names. Not that I don't like some popular music, just that I'm thinking more about chords than words.

7.) Josh Groban is NOT an opera singer. He is "popera" at best. His Italian is atrocious and his voice has not fully developed for the style. He would never be hired by the MET unless they decided to be sellouts (not likely).

8.) Phantom of the Opera is NOT an opera. It is musical theatre. There is a difference.

9.) Yes, I play some piano, but just enough to get by. I'm very intermediate. I can't sing and play like Norah Jones. Sorry.

10.) People who practice to sing karaoke have too much time on their hands. Go listen to something new!

I need a new hobby

2007-08-29T17:31:00.001-07:00

I think my need for a new hobby arises from the unproductive summer months. Because I work in academia, there isn't a lot going on in the summer. Once my class ended in July, I haven't had much going on. Now August is almost over, and I've realized that not many exciting summer stuff happened in the last 30 days. Now is the 2 weeks before the beginning of the academic year where the public schools are already in session, my choir has started rehearsing without me (I'm taking a break to focus solely on my MA), and I feel the need to take on a new hobby that fits into my busy schedule.

Such a hobby can have no financial bearing, as, let's face it, I'm working a low paying job and just took out another student loan. My new hobby can also have no time bearing because, let's face it, by expediting my MA, I have less of it. But, I always feel the need to grow in some new way. Someone asked me lately to bartend for a wedding, because they know I am open to new experiences. I don't really want to be a bartender, even for a night, but it might be fun and I might meet new people, and let's face it, I'm not going to take it on professionally.

I should base a new hobby on things I'm already doing. I've been thinking recently about training for a triathlon. Unfortunatley, yours truly doesn't really know swimming strokes and doesn't own a bike. So, I've contacted the Aquatics Director at work about swim lessons, and bf's parents have offered me access to a bike any time I need one. I should take up both offers.

Maybe I'll go out over Labor Day weekend and buy myself a new pair of running shoes, a one-piece suit, and some padded shorts.

Maybe I'm insane, and this new hobby will never take off with the amount of things that are already on my plate this fall. But, damn, I still have 3 weeks of summer left!

Today's Obsession - Demotivators

2007-08-13T13:09:00.001-07:00

These gems made possible by the people of Despair.com

Goals for my 29th year

2007-08-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

1.) Finish Grad School!
2.) Maintain 127 pounds and learn to swim.
3.) See Ravi Shankar in concert.
4.) Join the 21st century by purchasing a digital camera and an iPod.

Vacation for One

2007-08-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

I woke up early on my birthday to check out of my canvas cabin in Pescadero and partake of a lovely breakfast. I'd spent the last two days reading, enjoying nature, going on hikes and being massaged, so I thought eating large amounts of eggs with cheese and starchy potatoes was in order. Besides -- it's my birthday, so I can do whatever the hell I want. I was completely on my own schedule, and it was fantastic. Two days was plenty to be alone in the wilderness, and I was ready to leave, but it was very relaxing and pleasant.

I understand that the Cascade Restaurant was greatly understaffed, but I was frustrated by the slow service. I blame this on being there alone. A single person in a restaurant is almost invisible: it's kind of socially unacceptable to eat alone in public, and one person isn't going to leave a large tip. Servers generally want to feed the family of four. It's not too few, it's not too many, they appreciate your help, their bill is significant, etc.

I stood at the front of the restaurant, and observed two female servers buzzing about tables in no particular order. After a few minutes of being patient, I used my womanly figure to get the attention of a "new" (arent' they ALWAYS new!) early-20-something male drink server, who told me I could sit wherever I wanted. He promptly served me coffee and OJ, but told me he didn't know how to take orders yet. (Oh, the double-entendre!)

While reading at my table to pass the time, I realized that I was sitting next to two Italians, so I started listening to their conversation. (It was in ITALIAN! I wasn't spying -- I didn't even understand it.) They were in a hurry to leave, and were having some trouble getting a server's attention, so I used my single-status to strike up a conversation with them. 2 busy Italians + 1 single person = restaurant service. By joining my forces with the Italians, they got to pay and I got to order.

I was proud of myself for going on vacation alone, but there is also power in numbers.

Accomplished :)

2007-08-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

I've been off work since last Wednesday, and it feels so good.

I've cleaned my entire apartment in preparation for the new roommate. Mr. Clean is the greatest cleaning agent I have ever found! AND it has a fresh orangy scent! LOVE it. Mr. Clean has been winking at me and giving me his head-bow and it excites me greatly.

The new roommate is mostly moved in now, and we've made some apartment improvements. New Roomie has installed cable. It's the first time in 4 years that I've had cable at my place of residence. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. We have all of the premium channels, and apparently DVR, although I don't know how to access or use it. What does one watch when they have access to 500 channels? They watch "Back to the Future" of course! Right now I'm wondering if we will really have flying cars by 2015. My guess is NO. Also, the references to Texaco and Michael Jackson. Yeah, um...

I've also been filing all of that important stuff that's important, but it piles on a desk. Yes, I have a home filing system now and it's all up to date. Get it!

I drove 4 hours to Santa Rosa yesterday to see an old friend who I studied music with back in Iowa. She's back at our old school, teaching and singing in a group called First Take that does workshops in the summer. The drive was extremely irritating, but it was good to see Kim after 8 years. She's exactly the same, perhaps we are both heavier and more embittered. I also saw a former teacher, who is probably the person most responsible for my moving to the Bay Area. It was funny to see everyone, and a blast from the past, but also kind of sad to know that I don't really "belong" to that scene anymore. It's evolved beyond what it was when I went to school there. Strange feeling.

Exercise has been regular this week. Hiking, running...and there is more to come when I leave tomorrow for the beach! Woo hoo! Hiking and being massaged. Very excited.

Now, I leave you. Hopefully I'll have some reports when I get back. :)

Have a lovely week!

Wedding Dilemma

2007-07-31T16:08:00.000-07:00

I've been invited to a wedding of someone I knew in college. She doesn't call. She doesn't write. She emails me saying she's in town. I suggest lunch. I don't hear from her again. Ahem.

I am quite astonished 4 years later to receive an email "Save the Date" for her wedding in August. It is good to hear from her, so I give her my address at her request and receive the invitation in the mail a couple of weeks later. I feel uneasy about the invitation. Others who have been in touch with her received their invitation months before I received mine. Also, I don't know the groom and the wedding is 2 hours away.

Question: Do I go to the wedding, spend the money for the gift and the hotel when I was invited last minute, furthermore am not sure whether or not I will ever see this person again?

Answer: No. I send the RSVP with the (X) next to "Be there in spirit. I also send her an email apologizing that I am unable to attend, and suggest a get-together when she moves back to the area.

Question: Will she ever contact me again?

My guess: No. I was invited because there was "extra room" or she thought I'd be good for a gift. Anyone want to place bets on this one?

When you date, and don't know it.

2007-07-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm young, single and I work on a college campus where most people are not very young and not very single, except of course for the students. So, when a nice colleague from another department asks me out to lunch I say, "Of course!" This would be the same for male or female co-workers alike. In this case, it was a male.

He did not invite me off campus for this lunch; it was at a campus venue, with plenty of other faculty and staff eating, reading, having lunch meetings, etc. It was a very UN-date like environment. He did not pay for my lunch. So, we start off with the typical work-banter: office happenings, people we both know on campus, "How about them Broncos?" You know, stuff like that....

Suddenly I get the overwhelming feeling that this guy is interested more than my department job, and we are suddenly we talking about non-work things like political views. Politics shouldn't be discussed at work, they should be discussed over a beer...between friends OR MORE...but...I don't WANT to have a beer with this guy, because that makes it a date, and I don't want to date him. DAMN. I'm in a bind.

We both only have an hour for lunch (Thank God), so luckily it doesn't stay weird for long. But, then what if he asks me to go for a beer? Yikes! He doesn't ask me to go for a beer. So, now I feel bad for assuming this guy wants to date me. Do people on campus think we are dating? Uh. Oh.

This reminds me of a story my brother told me about dating without knowing it. He was new at his job and a guy in a nearby cubicle asked him if he wanted to go to a movie. My brother, thinking this guy was his pretty cool, went to a movie with him. It wasn't a romantic movie, it was a guy movie.. so, what's the problem?

He didn't think anything was weird. He'd gone out with his buddy from work... so?

The problem is my brother goes back to the office on Monday morning to find out that his other co-workers think the two guys are a couple. Turns out my brother's "work buddy" was gay. Well, how was he to know? Also, who's to say this guy was interested in my brother. Perhaps he just wanted to be nice to the new guy.

Are there always ulterior motives when a guy asks you out to a seemingly friendly lunch or movie? If so, I consider this to be a date. Furthermore, if this is the case, I've been dating 3 or 4 guy friends unknowingly for the past 5 years.

Oops.

What's happenin?

2007-07-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

Just catching everyone up since my blogging has been pretty pathetic in the last few weeks.

Class: I still don't like "The Teachers" and am glad to be in Higher Education. I've read 3 articles of the 10-12 that I need to read (also find) for a Literature Review due next Thursday.

Work: Summer is a little slow around here, but I feel there are some projects being accomplished that could not be finished during the academic year.

Home: Yesterday, the monstrosity of a 52'' Mitsubishi TV that we never watched was sold and removed from the premises by a nice couple with kids. Craigslist - well done.

After the class is over I will get the household in order. Carpets need to be cleaned, household items need to be purchased, etc. BECAUSE...

Personal: My husband is moving out... don't worry... we are on good terms. We've both found other people. We are going to remain good friends and neighbors as he is literally moving 5 blocks away. New roommate is Kristina. She is currently in a love triangle and will perhaps let me blog about her. :) Excellent!

Extra-Curricular: I've booked a mini vacation for one to Costanoa in Pescadero to sit, read, hike, run, and most importantly.. be massaged for two days. Yes, I'm going by myself. Don't even think about booking one of their lovely canvas cabins while I'm there. I only want to see nature and possibly some old, quiet people.

I have a new sister

2007-06-27T12:30:00.001-07:00

Her name is Sky. Her previous owner died, and my real sister talked my parents into saving her from certain death. SUCKERS!

The Mysteries of Life Cereal

2007-06-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

I've been asked to elaborate a bit on Life Cereal, namely what I'm looking for in a Life Cereal. Since I don't really have a good answer to this question, I will just bitch and moan for a few paragraphs. Excuse me...

During my series on Cereal Dating, I went out and bought a box of Life Cereal, just to check it out. I think there were a few different kinds, but I went with Original flavor. Honestly, it wasn't anything special. It was kind of like Wheat Chex, a little sweeter, but the cereal squares were more flat and had a smaller weave. Therefore, the cereal squares were not as well able to absorb milk like Wheat Chex, so you don't get that rush of cold milk when biting into the pieces.

I also found this fun little tidbit on the web:

Life is known as a wholesome cereal with a delicious taste that millions of adults and children love. Last year, 39 million boxes of Life and Cinnamon Life were sold. If placed end to end, the boxes sold in one year would stretch all the way from New York to Tokyo! Life Cereal - Historical Packaging Life Cereal was introduced in 1961 by the Quaker Oats Company as a cereal which "would help kids grow strong". In the early 70's, Life Cereal became famous for being the cereal that even Mikey, a finicky little 4 year old who "hates everything", loved to eat. Life stayed with the Mikey campaign for years and even today people everywhere remember Mikey. In 1978, we thought it was time to add a little spice to our Life. So we introduced Cinnamon Life and Cinnamon lovers everywhere were thrilled. Today, about one-third of all Life Cereal sold is Cinnamon flavor.

Life Cereal started out as a pretty damned good idea "helping kids grow strong." When kids are involved, I agree, there definitely needs to be some Life Cereal. I'm not exactly sure that I want to have kids. When people ask me, "Do you want kids?" it's like asking me if I'd like to have dinner on August 24, 2010. Um, I don't know. It sounds nice, but I honestly need to know what's going to lead up to that before I can give you a definite answer. Do I want Life Cereal so that I can one day have kids? No. I don't. That's not the reason for Life Cereal.

So, what is the reason? The cereal became very commercial with the slogan, "Even Mikey likes it!" It says, even this silly 4-year old with no taste likes it, so it must be good. Everyone is out to prove that they are committed to Life Cereal, so they get married. Today half of all marriages end in divorce. Nice. Doesn't sound too wholesome to me.

So, what does one do in order not to have a skewed and awful view of Life Cereal? I've watched my friends get married. Conversely, I've also watched my sister's friends (7 years older than me) get divorced. I've been told NUMEROUS times by seasoned individuals not to get married and just enjoy my life. I enjoy my life... but wouldn't it be more exciting to have someone to enjoy it with?

I had dinner with a happily married friend recently who told me about John, a bachelor, who was upset by married couples always telling him how hard marriage is. His question was, "If it's complicated and makes your life difficult... why do it?" My friend agreed that the selfish couples make you think twice, but wanted to convince John also that marriage was a good thing. She reported that, upon becoming engaged, married people would suddenly divulge their marital unbliss on her. Now married, she feels that she is lucky to be in a non-selfish, loving relationship in which all of the hardships of being a couple are GREATLY outweighed by all of the great things.

Those who are unhappy need to stop freaking us single people out! Don't tell me, "Oh, let me tell you, marriage is hard." Perhaps you have it mixed up with the general fact that LIFE is hard. At least when you're married, you have someone to share the hard times with, right? In our imagination, getting married is still a romantic thing you do with the greatest person in the whole world, who completes you and makes you a better person. Right? Right?! RIIGHT!??

I will furthermore blame angry and confused singles on those who got married for commerical reasons, namely because they felt like they (usually women) were a ticking time bomb. Yes, if you rush into something or if it is more important to get married than to be married, then yes, I could see how marriage is a living hell for you - a living hell that YOU created. Congratulations!

My Life Cereal need not be a cereal at all.

Instead I look for someone who's view on relationships has not been ruined by observing selfish, meaningless and/or commercial couples. He would also have to be keen to the fact that SOME women do not want to 1.) Be a nag. 2.) Ruin your life. 3.) Pressure you into marriage/babies. 4.) Make you stay home. 5.) Spend all of you money. 5.) Etc. (You get the point) Unfortunately this seems to be the stance many men take on serious relationships.

Mikey has been telling everyone that Life Cereal is the way to go for almost 30 years, causing women to become hysterical and men to become scared. Life is so much more than cereal. Society needs to put down the silver spoon and think outside of the box.

Things my dad taught me.

2007-06-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

Dad as Mr. Incredible.

You know the age when women decide they are starting to act like their mother. Well, I'm starting to act like my father. Weird. I know.

When I was a high schooler, my dad would come home with work-related banter all the time. "The teachers union...this. The board members...that. This kid was being insubordinate...blah." I would go to my room and slam the door and scream, "I'm SO TIRED of hearing about school all day! I go to school, then I come home and hear about SCHOOL!" Now, I'm working... in a school and studying to be an administrator. Well, it's a university, so I don't have to deal much with insubordination. But, you get the point.

Dad always kind of looked up to me for studying music as an undergrad, because it's something he said he wish he'd have had the guts to do... something artistic. He did mention to me after I graduated that he would be most delighted if I would find a nice young doctor or lawyer to marry, who would be able to "support my lifestyle." But, I'll forgive him for that and him only wanting the best for me. (P.S. Dad, lawyers are boring.);)

Dad did teach me a lot of great things, though.

"Don't be a social worker. There are professionals who do that." (Said when I was dating a 'bad' boy at school.)
TRANSLATION: Don't try to change people.

"It's hard to be humble when your perfect in every way."
TRANSLATION: Sometimes you need to realize that you simply kick ass.

"Don't lay down with that hard candy in your mouth."
TRANSLATION: Avoid simple mistakes that could lead to disasters.

"Be rich in love."
TRANSLATION: Money doesn't matter if you have love.

"In Jr. High school, there was this kid who was constantly picking on me. One day, I couldn't take it any more so I doubled up my fist and hit him. He never bothered me again." (Said when a girl in school was giving me a hard time.. I never had to hit her, but damn, I really wanted to.)
TRANSLATION: You've tried to deal with it, but there's only so much one person can take.

"Well, he didn't graduate LAST in his class." (Dad referring to a former boyfriend, after digging up his student records.)
TRANSLATION: I will accept anyone you chose, but do you really have to chose HIM?

"We moved around a lot because I got bored. The only thing I never got tired of was your mom."
TRANSLATION: Marry forever. Everything else will change.

"Why do I have to be your garbage disposal?" (Usually said when eating.)
TRANSLATION: Don't put your waste on other people to finish.

"We'll talk to you next week if not sooner, ok?" (How dad ends every phone conversation)
TRANSLATION: You can always talk to me.